A STORM WITHIN A STORM

 

A series of essays….

A WORLD JUST BEGINNING TO SEE THE LIGHT

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

The words are here. They’ve never gone away. They have been swirling around in brackish water, once a sweetly flowing stream, made saliferous with many tears shed and clouded by weeks of sadness and uncertainty. My tears. My uncertainty.

Self doubt can be the bane of many of us, the bêtes noire or black beast capable of swallowing-up the positive notions that may (or may not) control the creativity and drive within us. Well, the bêtes noire bit down on me—hard—several weeks ago and, like a poison running through my veins, I became weak and disillusioned, toxic to myself and my writing. 

I’m not saying that I am out of my funk just yet. This crazy, lethal weather we’ve been experiencing lately has me running for cover and praying for all of the poor souls who have been forsaken by the fires, flooding, and tornadic winds that cost the lives of loved ones, destroyed homes, and scattered so many tangible memories.

But the storm inside my head has been even more fierce than the wind, lightening flashes, and inevitable thunder that follows on any given stormy day; often filled with doom and gloom. The self doubt had seeped into my very being (my soul) and, like a nasty tornado, twisted my confidence as though it were a tree that happened to be in its path of destruction. 

Even writing about my experience now, while opening-up to all of you, is making me nervous. Making me anxious. I may not be ‘out of the woods’ yet, but I know the words are swirling around in my head and I am able to see them as clearly as my inner being will allow while putting them together to create full sentences compiled (honestly) of truth and understanding. I love what I do. To have it blurred or set aside because my inner demons have exploited their appropriate levels of existence, literally, breaks my heart.

I do love what I do—telling my stories in the best way I know how. Opening up in such a way that you, my readers, know it comes from my heart. If I can’t achieve this status, I will withdraw for a time, like I have done these past few weeks. I will collect my thoughts, rehash my raison d’être, refresh my energy in such a way that I feel comfortable sharing them with you. 

Time. Patience. Energy. Love. That’s what it takes to filter the brackish water and return it to a sweetly flowing stream. 

The weather isn’t improving in the least and I sit here typing this under severe thunderstorm warnings for our area. Our dog has retreated into her safe place and we keep waiting for the electricity to wish us a sudden adieu. The AccuWeather map tells the whole story and I insert it here for everyone to see my disappearing state draped in the ominous colors of yellow, orange, and red, indicating powerful storms that appear to be lasting for several more hours. 

THE STATE OF MICHIGAN IS WEARING
A BLANKET OF ENERGY THIS MORNING!

So, I am sending this out shortly while the weather gods haven’t totally abandoned us. I miss all of you and promise that this Blog has me building up more self confidence each day. I do see the light and will continue on my journey without false smiles on my face or cobwebs filling my heart and soul. I have so much to be grateful for. I hope you have not given up on me in the interim because that light I see just keeps getting brighter and brighter with every word I type. 

Wishing all of you Joy and Happiness!

Copyright © 2024 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

A PHOTOGRAPHER’S NOTES AND MORE

 

A series of essays and poems….

                          THE PINK AND PURPLE MIST OF THE SMOKY MOUNTAINS

~A HISTORY OF BEAUTY, WAR, INDIGENOUS AMERICANS, AND HARD WORK~

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

I feel as though I am only borrowing the innocent things that surround me: the sky, an old barn, people in history, memories of mine and others, the soil, grass, and stone of a place we particularly love, and time itself. But I am placing them neatly and securely within containers without depth or dimension; digital photographs taken to preserve actions in time that excited my being then as they do at this exact moment.

I am pleased to think that my photographs, trapped within the ethos of time, past and present, reach out to those I might capture in the near and distant future. It warms me to believe that our own future transcends time and space and provides hope for us far beyond our known experiences.

I write about these experiences from a poetic perspective and become one with the history of beauty, war, Indigenous Americans, buildings that communicate with me, and make tangible all of the long, hard work our forefathers endured throughout the years in order to create a better life for us.

WINDOWS

With blades of grass and stone, alike, immortally drenched in 

                    rain and blood,

The history that surrounds this dampened paradise attracts 

                    the brave and the bold. 

I can feel the past running through my lug-bottom soles 

                    as I walk each path and trail. 

With weapon of choice strapped ‘round my neck just waiting 

                    to capture and behold,

Each footstep marked in the crooks and crannies…marching,

                    marching without fail.

Dilapidated barn just around the bend, if only you could talk to

                    me on this sunny day,

I know what you might say to this wayward traveler so keen 

                    on capturing your image:

“Cling righteously to what’s transpired, before my hat of rusty tin and swayback walls near collapse. Lambs and calves were born and sheltered within my bosom before the stink of automobile exhaust, acid rain, and time contributed to my inevitable demise.”

As hard work’s sweat soaked through clothes and bloodied

                    hands gripped the plow,

These men and women, born of guts and glory, raised 

                    offspring who endured hard times;

Knew the true meaning of survival as they faced every

                    challenge known to humankind.

Were the encircling mountains a blessing or a curse as

                    Sunday’s bells began to chime; 

Truly massive hurdles that bone-weary bodies translated into 

                    obstacles so unkind?

Somehow, we often remember you in cold, gray tones of         

                    silver-coated copper plates,

With each image bearing the bitter smell of the 

                    photographer’s flash powder light.

Have the bright and vivid colors of Indigenous Americans 

                    blended with your own,

After the Cherokee tribes, forced to leave, began to shed 

                    their Trail of Tears?

Sadly, ten years later, Congress grants them money used to 

                    purchase their own land.

We delight in all your glory, from trees of burnt sienna to fields

                    in every shade of green.

And, purple misted mountains slowly blackening in the fading 

                    light of the setting sun!

You grace us with your ‘pure light’ from early morning hours 

                    into the magenta and blue evenings.         

We drive long distances to see you; envying those who already 

                    call you home. 

Western North Carolina, an illuminated gemstone that fills me 

                    with eternal joy!

Wishing all of you who nurture, have nurtured, love and guide a child (all children) through the world we live in—and help to make them the strong, kind, loving beings they were meant to be! Happy Mother’s Day, this Sunday and each day of the year!

Copyright © 2024 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

Photo Copyright © 2024 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

LET’S HEAR IT FOR PERSONAL GROWTH AND HAPPINESS!

 

A series of essays….

OUR FIRST SUNRISE IN WALES.
WE HAVE CAPTURED THE BEAUTY THAT SURROUNDS US 
AND REVEL IN ITS WONDER!

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Healthy challenges can inspire us to grow. 

I like this sentence. I find it appealing because it takes me in so many exciting directions: past, present, and future.

First of all, I believe we never stop growing in one way or another each day of our lives, no matter our age.

Before I go any further, I would just like to mention why I believe the eclipse this week was deemed extra exciting by so many of us. I mean, besides the fact that a solar eclipse is scientifically pretty phenomenal all on its own! We all required something this exciting to focus on, take our thoughts away from the Big Lies and, ultimately, how much time drumpf must spend behind bars to compensate for them…

Here’s where I give some examples of healthy challenges. Being physically challenged reaps its own benefits and rewards. Keeping the body in motion, we all know, contributes towards proper weight balance, muscle strength, circulation, and so much more. 

Let’s say that this physical challenge is combined with others as in a team sport which may couple physical dexterity with the sharp mental awareness needed to make quick decisions (individually) and blend these decisions with everyone else in the group. The objective is not necessarily to win, but rather to work well within a group of others whether it be sports related, office or work relationships, or being human and relating to the rest of our fellow human beings on a daily basis. 

This latter example, comprised of love, kindness, and understanding, can be linked to our own spirituality. How do we perceive the world to function after incorporating these specific acts into our daily routines? Will we become better people because we have? Yes, of course, we would no longer place ourselves first, rather our goal, if we choose to accept this spiritual lifestyle, is to accept everyone as equals, allowing us to grow exponentially (utilizing our untapped potential) by helping to make the world a better, happier place to live.

Doing something nice for someone doesn't require spending money on them. You can cook someone a meal, let them borrow a favorite book, help them out with something, or do anything else that makes them feel good!

Food. Our eating habits. Forfeiting an unhealthy diet for one that, potentially, makes you grow stronger by providing the body with what it needs rather than pacifying the mind with what society has taught us to crave as addicts of sugar, salt, and white flour. 

Trust me, I have challenged myself for a lifetime to disengage from bad eating habits by incorporating healthy foods into my diet. I blamed the first third of my poor eating lifestyle and habits on my parents. The second third of my life was all on me. Now that I’m in the final third — my aim is to stretch this life out as healthy and meaningfully as possible.

I have always been a yo-yo dieter as I’d work hard to drop the weight, succeed to a certain degree, only to have something, major or minor, trigger the inevitable lapse in mental stamina that was guaranteed to follow.

Now that I am older and getting the hang of minimizing my intake of cane sugar, salt (never truly liked too much salt in the first place), and craving a slice or two of crusty artisan bread slathered in good butter, I feel I can control my weight and combine a better diet plan with more movement and approve of the results.

Inspiration comes in many different forms. Even Monday’s eclipse had a pronounced lesson for us in that there will always be something much larger than ourselves and our solar system certainly proved its point this week! Something small can appear big enough to block something larger. There is power in distance and perspective. Things—just like experiences—are not always as big as they seem. We must give ourselves time. Take a step back. Look not at the shadow, but at the light.

Routines. Enjoying a daily routine can ground us in a way that nothing else can. It keeps us on a personal track that contributes to stability and staying focussed; living each day to the fullest. Each day brings an opportunity for us to experience amazing things, even challenge those things that might trouble and overwhelm us on a day-to-day basis.

Practice mindfulness when doing daily tasks and embrace being in the present moment. Practice gratitude and remind yourself of the amazing things you have to be thankful for. Take time to disconnect from social media and intentionally connect with yourself, friends, family, or your community. Make small steps or a plan to reach a goal — whether it's to cook at home more, journal each day, or publish that novel you’ve been working on for years.

Healthy challenges can inspire us to grow as individuals whether we achieve results on our own or become a part of a larger group. 

Happiness, personal joy and growth, respect for others, can be found in so many areas — from exploring our immediate priorities to helping others. May your own healthy challenges inspire you to grow each and every day.

Copyright © 2024 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved