A series of short stories....
Gloria Steinem (Courtesy of Google Image) |
....through my eyes!
By: Jacqueline E. Hughes
I enjoy hitting the '+' button on My Writing app and pulling-up a brand new, pristine white page. The thrill is knowing that within a few hours and an average of somewhere around 1,500 words and an unspecified amount of research later, those pages are filled, my random thoughts are recorded and, soon they will be sent out into Cyberspace for others to read.
Where do my ideas come from? Well, everywhere! It could be a thought that's been rolling around in my head for weeks, a certain place visited and loved, nature's beauty as displayed by a friend or, an event or person I've read about. It's the process (steps) of creation that intrigues me the most. Because once the creation is completed.....I switch gears and just hope that others like and appreciate the finished product. By then, I've already pulled up another blank page and started filling it....one word at a time.
Gloria Steinem Awarded Medal of Freedom
By Barack Obama For Women's Movement
For example..... The Sunday Review section of The New York Times this past weekend devoted its front page to Ms. Gloria Steinem on turning eighty with the heading: This Is What 80 Looks Like. Truth be told, Ms. Steinem has been on my radar for months now, ever since Oprah's NEXT CHAPTER interview with her in April of 2012. I have always had nothing but the utmost respect for this lovely lady, for many, many reasons. The article, written by Gail Collins, respectfully points out how Ms. Steinem has been utilizing her birthdays "to make money for worthy causes" ever since her 50th. This year she's heading to Botswana to celebrate but, not before co-hosting a benefit to raise money for the Shalom Center in Philadelphia.
Gloria Steinem once said, "I expect my funeral to be a fund-raiser." When asked what she really wanted to do on her birthday this year, she said, "First, get out of Dodge. Second, ride elephants."
"Superwoman is the adversary of the Women's Movement. The whole idea is that we don't have to do it all. You can't do it all, no one can do it all, cook three meals, have perfect children and be multi-orgasmic 'till dawn....." Gloria and Oprah had been speaking with and answering questions by a group of students from New York City's prestigious Barnard College.
I know this multi-faceted belief, proffered by one of the Women's Movement's most noted and respected members, was never fully understood or appreciated by those of us 'coming of age' in the '60's. If we had truly absorbed her teachings, many of us would not have wasted so much of our time wallowing in personal guilt or ever bothered listening to the unconscionable demands presented to us by a society that remained rooted in archaic beliefs for all women.
Even the '60's climate of 'Free Love and Rock & Roll' only compounded our budding beliefs as young women attempting to find our role within a changing society. The best way I know of explaining it was we were caught-up in a time-warp; floundering between the old world and ideas presented to us by our Mothers and the new world of independence that we hoped would complete us and serve up success on a platter. Yes, we knew we could have, enjoy and do it all!! We were young and we still believed....
The distortion of this maelstrom altered our speed of movement by pulling women down within its spiraling motion.....and, whether we wished to admit it or not, we had become our own worst enemy. As a group, we tore each other apart, attacking from all sides like fools rather than implementing understanding and compromise. In hind site, if women had bolstered the individual beliefs of every woman, (Stay-at-home Moms, career woman, marry or remain single), as much as we ripped each other apart, ALL of us could have 'had it all' without having to 'do it all.' And, wearing a bra would have always remained an option.
I say this often and really do believe that life is all about extremes. Energy flows from one extreme into the other until it eventually balances itself out and maintains a stable medium. The application of this belief applies here.
This warm and inviting woman with a brilliant, fascinating sense of humor, soon became, intentionally or not, caught-up within the politics of the '60's, '70's and beyond. I have always regarded Gloria Steinem as the female 'voice of reason.' Many men disliked her beliefs not wishing to enhance the role of women in the workplace while hoping to squelch future equality between the sexes. Some women disliked her beliefs because they were, simply put, afraid of change.
I was putting myself through college at Michigan State University around this time and the Women's Liberation Movement was in full swing on and off campus. No topic, whatsoever, was off-limits to full and complete discussion by students any time of the day or night. Groups of us, males and females together, would gather in dorm lounges, dorm rooms and, occasionally, our professor's homes in order to speak openly about our ideas, as well as introduce new ones. Wow!! I can look back at us now with overflowing pride in my heart.
Oh, but, eventually, the guilt did creep around the corner like a black mist among the shadows and penetrate even some of the most open-minded and brave-hearted of us all.... It blinded and tormented us with its deep-seeded notions of failure even when our husbands, having lived through the Movement, too, and still fell in love with and married us for better or worse, had our backs! That's how disillusioned some of us had become. Usually, our disappointment was with ourselves.....we wanted to be Superwoman! Nothing less. We didn't perceive this depth of emotion as an adversary....not yet. Even if Gloria Steinem were standing on a soap box, megaphone in hand, preaching the negatives of Superwoman status ten feet away, our guilt of inadequacy blinded our sense of reason. We had to grow-up, mature, evolve....whichever label you prefer!
Even to this day, the pressure of being a young female in the late '60's and beyond can haunt me, especially when it comes to Family and living so far away. I worry about watching and being near my grandchildren growing-up and if they will always remember me for who I am and how much I love them every day. Guilt: A feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation. Funny how guilt can grow on you like a second skin.
When discussing her accomplishments within her eighty years of living and if she felt completed by hers, Ms. Steinem replied, "The whole idea is not to figure out what you should do that will matter, but to make each thing you do reflect the values you want.....because we don't know what's going to matter in the future." If that's the case, then it should no longer worry me about the physical distance between my children and me as long as my actions reflect the positive values I place on our relationships. Thank you, Gloria.
"People think they should be successful by the time they are thirty!" She goes on to explain that given enough years on this earth, "You can have many relationships....many different careers or professions and have them all be successful." We worry way too much about time constraints and what other people think instead of just believing in ourselves.
My mantra today would definitely be: It didn't always go as planned, and that's okay. Just think about what I have to look forward to!! Remember, as long as YOU want it, the cup of life remains full. Maintain your health, happiness and never forget to Love....
I'm certain if Ms. Steinem were commenting on my thoughts here today she would ask all of us to be Positive, be Patient and, always, be Persistent......
Happy Birthday, Gloria!
Is there anything in your past or present that makes you feel guilty with the idea that you would change it if you could?