A series of essays….
FINDING MY HAPPY PLACES THROUGH ARTWORK.
ORIGINAL PAINTING BY KATHLEEN KALINOWSKI AND ENTITLED:
~TRISH’S CHICKENS~
OIL ON LINEN PANEL - 9 X 12
….as seen through my eyes!
By: Jacqueline E Hughes
Life continues on in its ‘bits and pieces’ format day after day until the fuzzy borders of actions become more fluid and less blurred. I still can’t figure out if this is a good thing or not. I try to remember what life was like before COVID-19. I try to recall day-to-day actions before drumpt entered our lives on a full time basis. Oops! There go the blurry outlines once again.
I try to remember when life started to become less sacred to some and pulling out a weapon to engage in the bodily harm of another human being became more and more commonplace. In other words, when did the sanctity of life begin to breakdown, tumble, and collide with the sharp edges of reality until life itself became meaningless and petty to so many people? At least, when did I begin to feel the menacing cuts, stabs, bruises, and sorrow associated with the world we live in today?
I know, the world has not been altered or changed that much after all of the wars we acknowledge from the past or the inequality between whites and people of color. Many high school and college friends either died in Vietnam or came back home suffering from PTSD and the hatred of those who could only accept a win and despised our government and servicemen and women for bringing home a loss. So, the shallowness began for many of us fairly early in life.
Bits and pieces can add up quickly in one’s lifetime. Some would chastise others for proclaiming their choice to not bring children into a world so full of hatred and pain. Others won’t allow the negative side of life to affect them and tune out the news altogether keeping a false, mostly sunny aspect of life to guide them through the day while ignoring negativity and truth.
There are many good parts of life that draw me in, make me feel happy and graciously human and it’s good to always line them up like golden stars in the night sky and allow them to twinkle and shine for all they are worth! Marriage, children, job promotions, comfortable homes, my writing career, and cherished family and friends have become the chapters of a nonfiction book I continue to write and will share with my readers whenever possible. Travel experiences became its preface while each chapter highlights an individual experience or place that helps to make my life healthy, unique—and, sometimes, very sad.
Writing is a way to lay it all out on the counter for everyone to see. It is the freedom to move about the cabin as we see fit. It helps me blow off steam when life becomes too compressed and then praise the gods for spectacular events that change my life forever—having grandchildren always comes to mind.
Every single day we experience our own vulnerability; yet, we must find time to enjoy the act of being our own superhero in order to bolster any setbacks we and those around us might be experiencing.
Thinking back over eight years ago to before the creation of Moving On….2021, my Website, while living in Orlando, Florida, to just how naive I had been; how all of the small things affected me. How empty-nesting and leaving Michigan punctuated my vulnerability and sent me into a sad decline of self-worth all while bringing about a serious bout of depression. I fought through it, got a good job I thoroughly enjoyed, and, eventually, climbed out of the hole I had created for myself.
I remember listening to the news before work one morning when a local newscaster, shock and despair apparent in her voice, detailed a fatal road rage shooting that took place behind a Walgreens store just a mile from our apartment. One man took another man’s life while they were both driving to work. There was no forethought as to if the victim had a wife and children. It was strictly a matter of I have a gun, he cut me off on busy Semoran Boulevard, and that gives me the right to shoot him! That was the beginning of the fear and distrust that was planted in my gut like small seeds waiting to grow.
Unfortunately, they did grow. Not just in Orlando or even in Florida for that matter, but around the entire country. People were edgier and becoming more emboldened, less tolerant of people around them, and ready to light the fuse within themselves at any cost. Subsequently, Stand Your Ground laws (shoot first) were introduced seven years before George Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin, allegedly under self defense. These laws have helped promote the hatred that is growing exponentially while ignoring the mentally ill who often take advantage of them.
Guns. Guns. Guns.
The mass shooting in Jacksonville in 2018 along with the massacres at Orlando's Pulse Nightclub, Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, and Parkland's Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, sent shivers down our spines. With assault rifles in many homes and gun laws weak or, practically, nonexistent, Florida residents were becoming hardened by how easy it was to have a gun in their possession and then plan ahead to use it on innocent people.
Lies. Lies. Lies.
We’ve barely survived four years with a narcissistic president and are working hard to change the backlash and damage of a tsunami that has led to massive destruction of personal lives and healthy mental well being. We are still battling a pandemic both scientifically and emotionally that has led one group to claim that their right of choice will always take precedence over everyone else’s right to be healthy and alive. And, there are the horrific ramifications from the acts of those who feel absolutely no remorse in exhibiting their obvious hatred of all people of color while believing in the power of white supremacy.
I will take the bits and pieces that make-up my life and turn them this way and that, making them fit together to the best of my ability, creating a majestic collage so colorful and sparkling it will ‘hurt your eyes beautiful.’ I will add love, one of the most effective drugs known to humankind, to this powerful mixture and fill in all of the cracks and holes with it like ‘magical grout’ keeping everything solid and secure.
Believing in the goodness within all of us will take me above and beyond all of the evil I have already witnessed in this lifetime. Love is the ticket. Patience is a virtue. They must prevail.
Copyright © 2021 by Jacqueline E Hughes
All rights reserved
