A series of essays....
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| BREAKING DOWN THE LIBRARY.... MY FAVORITE ROOM! |
....as seen through my eyes!
By: Jacqueline E. Hughes
I walked away hoping to find a tiny slice of solace, a brief respite from a very long and arduous day. Our car had been parked in front of the neighbor’s house since seven o’clock in the morning. That’s about the time the large vehicle loomed from the morning shadows and engulfed the front of the house blocking out the rising sun. That was the beginning of one of the longest days of my life.
Seeking air conditioning and solitude within the confines of my KIA, I had a moment to breathe. I created an interval of time that allowed myself to reflect on the progression of my day. Pent-up emotions broke through like an impending storm and I allowed myself time to open the flood gates and have a good cry. I deserved a good cry. I craved a quiet moment to reflect on the day and cry long enough to breach the reservoir of accumulated years, friendships, and stored memories with family and friends.
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| BOXES OF BOOKS AND EACH BOOK IS A DELIGHTFUL, COMFORTING FRIEND! |
Admitting this fact to only a few before now, my spirit, my soul, has been haunted by two precious people in my life; two people whom I would never expect would make their parents feel unloved or inadequate in any way. Even though we question their motives, constantly, we accept and respect their own spaces, always. Will our daughters understand why we are making this major change in our lives? Will the precious bonds we’ve shared together since their birth remain alive and well? Do they understand that our grandchildren, all five of these amazing ‘little people,’ hold our hearts in their small hands and are the reason for Dan and I to continue to complete our journey of the circle of life...?
Life is a circle of birth, maturity, decay, and death. All living things follow this circle in the same cycle or path. From birth, each of us begins our journey along this path.
The circle of life is, truly, nature's way of taking and giving back life to earth. It symbolizes the universe being sacred and divine. It represents the infinite nature of energy, which means, if something dies it gives new life to another. 'God is a circle whose centre is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere' ....Hermes Trismegistus. I respect this definition. Will our daughters understand and accept it’s significance, as well?
Before the feet went numb from standing far too long, Dan brought in steaming cups of Dunkin’ and placed them on the counter top. I would call this my one and only meal of the day, that is until we solemnly ate pasta together later that night around eight-thirty.
Sometimes you do what you have to do in order to get things done and our mission was quite clear to us ever since dragging our weary bones and my broken soul out of bed around sunrise. Small, medium, large, extra large, wardrobe, ‘dish,’ and heavy duty....cardboard boxes of all shapes were slated to be filled, taped, marked, and set aside in impromptu stacks destined for ‘Home or Storage?’ I will forever associate these two words or ‘categories’ with discomfort and disdain for prolonged manual labor.
I had been filling boxes for what seemed like weeks, but we were down to the wire that morning in an attempt to stay ahead of the good men who would soon be hauling them out of our home and into the 53’ long, rolling storage space they would reside in for up to a week. By the end of the twelfth hour that day, my body needed a break; my spirit required room to breathe.
Dave, the driver and ‘keeper of the numbers’, the man who itemized each box, stick of furniture and rolled-up carpet we own and slapped a bar code on them, came up to me around the eighth hour to say, “I am amazed that you were able to keep up with us but, you did a great job! Given what you had left to pack, you always stayed ahead of us and things went smoothly. I really appreciate that and thank you for it.”
As he stared at my determined face, I know he looked deeply into my glazed-over, weary eyes. And, even though I wore long, soft pants, my swollen right leg, acerbated by three spider bites a week earlier, was made more obvious by the clumsy, hobbling gait I employed for most of the day. In his own, humble manner...Dave knew I needed cheering up. God bless him for that!
While I worked on the rest of the kitchen paraphernalia, my poor husband was methodically doing his own ‘pack-and-go’ choreography between the last bedroom and my office space. He’d peek his head out, occasionally, to see how I was doing and inquire if I needed another empty box, then proceeded to tape one up for me. That helped tremendously!
Eventually, the time came when I hit the proverbial ‘brick wall!’ I remember clasping the top back on the Sharpie after printing the word ‘HOME’ for the final time. I found Dan and asked for his car keys because finding my purse would have required too much effort; too much energy. Because all of the doors had been wide open all day long and the ninety-five degree heat with high humidity had seeped into every nook, crevice, and cranny long, long ago...it was time to stop the madness!!
I remember sinking into the KIA’s front passenger seat and starting the engine. Setting the A.C. at its highest capacity, I closed my eyes and that’s when the tears began to flow freely, non-stop, releasing the built-up pressure that had been stored up for hours, days, weeks, months, and longer.
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| WOULD NEVER IMAGINE IT WAS POSSIBLE TO FILL (ALMOST) THIS ENTIRE TRUCK WITH 'STUFF!' |
Time passed, maybe thirty minutes or more, when I heard a tap on the window. Dave was announcing his imminent departure and wanted to thank me for all of the cold water and ice we provided for him and the crew and to let me know that we’d see one another once again up in Kalamazoo in a few days time. They were done. Our ‘stuff’ was on the truck. Our house was empty. Our lives were changing and a new life in the ‘little yellow cottage’ on Hazel Avenue awaited our arrival.
Dan slid next to me gulping down the frozen air while reminding me that our good friend and neighbor, Janice, would be coming over to say good-bye after the moving van was on its way. She told us later that she stayed in her back room sewing her beautiful quilts all day because she didn't want to acknowledge the moving van across the street.
Later, we would walk back through the house one final time. We would say to one another that it was to make certain everything was packed-up and not forgotten. I knew better. We both needed to take one final walk through the time and space that echoed the news of first pregnancies and later, infant grandchildren’s giggles; the spirit of family and friends sharing homemade cuisine and sipping a glass of wine (or three); the joys and occasional failures of various employment opportunities along the way; keeping us safe and sound through numerous hurricanes and lightening storms while protecting us from the penetrating heat of the Floridian sun, and laughing, crying and living life to its fullest capacity as time left its subtle hints by way of the growing number of picture-framed, angelic faces that began to grace the walls in every room.
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| SAYING GOOD-BYE TO BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES AND A HOUSE FILLED WITH BABY GIGGLES... |
When we realized that the framed faces of our grandchildren would never compare to seeing and kissing the genuine articles....Dan’s retirement opened the door to new possibilities and the knowledge that the sale of our home in Orlando would help supply the means by which to achieve them.
Dan and I opened the car doors and stepped out onto Morgan’s Mill Circle one last time before walking back into the empty house. For some reason we both looked up into the early evening sky in unison only to look back at one another with smiles as wide as the van that recently occupied the space behind my car. We had been blessed by the sight of a magical rainbow, its colorful arch seemingly hovering over our heads.
Holding hands, we walked towards the house knowing that as protected as we’d felt here for the past twenty years, our future looked as bright as the rainbow’s colors that arched above us and held us in awe of its enchanting and heavenly presence.
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| ...A HOUSE FILLED WITH GOOD FRIENDS AND LAUGHTER! |
Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes
All rights reserved
