WE ARE FRAGILE SHELLS

A series of essays....

A BUBBLE FILLED WITH AIR AND INSECURITIES 

 

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

We are

     FRAGILE

          shells, bubbles filled with air and insecurities, waiting for someone or something to prick our outer layer and release our souls into a world occupied by haters, users, and fools. Like a loaf of rustic bread comprised of air pockets formed by gas produced, we puff out, create loft and desirable texture during the bake; even our hard, crusty shells can be pulled apart by the hands of those who wish to devour us in order to sustain their own beliefs. We are delicate and vulnerable, fragile beings, easily broken or destroyed by bullies and thugs, masters and presidents, a lifetime politician whose entire agenda is composed of gaining power, retaining power, and always seeking more power.

Humble inside our fragile shells, in compliance with every rule and regulation bestowed upon us by greater men and women than ourselves, we begin to stir. Taunted by the vibrations of bullies and self-proclaimed gods that rise above us in terms of reality show ringmasters protected by their numerous henchmen, we begin to stir. Understanding more and more about what white privilege means and becoming empathetic about how Black Lives Matter, we begin to stir. We have remained curled in the fetal position for far too long; frightened to death of overriding all other considerations represented by bullies in lofty positions. It is time to enliven our spirits and vacate the fragile shells surrounding us, once and for all!

A mighty oak tree standing five feet tall stood among us and has fallen and we understand that we can be better ‘for she existed.’ Her shadow-spirit hovers high above us, boosted by the strength of her convictions, upheld by her striking ability to change archaic attitudes and beliefs, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was an intellect who had the power to speak from her heart and have people listen. A feminist pioneer, RBG was a champion of communication, women’s rights, and gender equality...which included equality for all of the people!

SPEAK YOUR MIND
EVEN IF YOUR VOICE SHAKES

In homage to the superior beliefs and strengths of the Notorious RBG, may this poem by Maya Angelou serve to explain our feelings today:

WHEN GREAT TREES FALL

By Maya Angelou

When great trees fall,

rocks on distant hills shudder,

lions hunker down

in tall grasses,

and even elephants

lumber after safety.

When great trees fall

in forests,

small things recoil into silence,

their senses

eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,

the air around us becomes

light, rare, sterile.

We breathe, briefly.

Our eyes, briefly,

see with

a hurtful clarity.

Our memory, suddenly sharpened,

examines,

gnaws on kind words

unsaid,

promised walks

never taken.

Great souls die and

our reality, bound to

them, takes leave of us.

Our souls,

dependent upon their

nurture,

now shrink, wizened.

Our minds, formed

and informed by their

radiance,

fall away.

We are not so much maddened

as reduced to the unutterable ignorance

of dark, cold

caves.

And when great souls die,

after a period peace blooms,

slowly and always

irregularly. Spaces fill

with a kind of

soothing electric vibration.

Our senses, restored, never

to be the same, whisper to us.

They existed. They existed.

We can be. Be and be

better. For they existed.

The best way to honor a change maker is by continuing to make changes; burst forth from our protective shells and make a difference in this world. Our hearts may be heavy but our spirits are strong. It is time to rejoice in and support a system that brought us RBG in the first place. Like all people bound together with powerful goals in mind, it is our fervent duty to ourselves and those we love to create a better world for everyone. Her work remains unfinished. It is time to join together, mobilize, and make a difference!

It was once stated that well-behaved women don’t make history. RBG was proud of making waves, especially under the appearance of a petite female, well-mannered judge, and notorious lawmaker. Our grave mistake was believing that she was immortal. A human goddess representing love, beauty, and wisdom, she proclaimed from the mountaintops that we, women united, have the power to determine our future when we decide that the most important thing is getting out to vote. Yes, women hold the power this election year.

VOTE AND TELL
THEM RUTH SENT YOU!

In order to honor the legacy of Chief Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, now that the shock and fear from her loss slowly abates, we all must be strong and brave and assured that our rights are honored. Everything that is held dear to us is on the ballot this November. Indeed, in order to honor the legacy of Chief Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, we must go to the polls and/or vote by mail. Make our votes count! 

As dictated to her granddaughter, this was a final wish: “My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new president is installed.” —Notorious RBG

Be safe. Be healthy. Stay strong.

Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

TWO SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO: LOVE CONQUERS ALL

A series of essays....

SEPTEMBER 15, 1973

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

I fell asleep quite late the night before with high expectations and a song from ‘My Fair Lady’ resounding in my head. Like the judge’s gavel smacking-down in the courtroom, the reverberations from wood-on-wood rang out to the tune of, ‘I’m getting married in the morning! Ding dong, the bells are gonna chime.’ This was the one and only shot I was giving myself at truly making these lyrics work; I believed in love, one partner for life, and the effort it would take to make a marriage as successful as possible.

Judging by my parent’s union, the physical and mental effort directed toward the production or accomplishment of a marriage was extensive. Like many of the ideas I claimed while growing-up, if I just leaned in the opposite direction a bit from them, I would be okay...better off. 

I loved them both for all of the right reasons, but could not understand, for the life of me, why living together could be so difficult at times. Theirs was a different generation steeped in ideas from another time, another place; unfortunately, a place where I did not want to be. 

ELAINE, MYSELF, ROBYN, JANIS AND SANDY
JUST BEFORE OUR WALK DOWN THE AISLE.

DAN WITH HIS FATHER, LEO HUGHES.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS TAKING
PART IN OUR SPECIAL DAY.

So, with church bells ringing inside my acute imagination, I drifted off, eventually, with love and hope swirling within the deep recesses of my heart. Never would I emulate the particular path my parents had taken, but knowing that their story helped to make them who they were, right or wrong, will always be an interesting read about the two people who loved, laughed, cried, and gave me life and the ability to make my own choices in this world.

With the anticipation of our honeymoon in Aruba one week after the ceremony (the timing being delayed by our work schedules), we spent our first night of married life at a Holiday Inn in Kalamazoo before heading to a romantic evening at a beautiful Bed & Breakfast in Saugatuck. 

Discovering that he had left his wallet at his parent’s house where he’d changed into his tuxedo, we spent our first night ripping open wedding envelopes in the hopes that we’d have enough cash to pay for the room in the morning. Chalk it up to releasing pent-up emotions after one of the busiest, most exciting days of our lives or to the deep exhaustion we were feeling at the moment, but we began laughing so hard that our silly little selves nearly cried us to sleep! Sitting side-by-side on one of the two queen-sized beds and watching the traffic on I-94 outside the window, I can recall that small room being strewn with opened envelopes and fives and tens recently released from glittery wedding cards that wished us the ‘very best’ in our life together as husband and wife.

BLUE DELFT TILES WE PURCHASED IN ARUBA

Walking around Saugatuck is always an interesting experience. By this time, Dan had driven back to his parent’s house to retrieve his wallet. On this second evening of married life, we tucked ourselves away into the bar at Coral Gables for a drink to continue our celebration. I had worked at the Gables in East Lansing while a student at Michigan State University and thought it appropriate to incorporate its vibe into our mini-honeymoon.

In mid-September the tables were mostly empty of social imbibers with the exception of several lingering vacationers a few tables over who talked about packing-up soon and heading home...wherever. The older gentleman was seated alone one table away. We were deep in our conversation about the wedding, in our own small universe, when he began speaking to us. “Did you two just get married? Wow, that’s real special. Good to see youth making a commitment these days.”

Thanking him generously for acknowledging us after our big day, the three of us chatted for a while longer. As he got up to leave, he mentioned something to the waiter after paying his tab and then walked over to us for one, final word. “Stay happy. Keep love alive. And, always remind yourselves of how you feel right at this very moment. I think you’ll do just fine!”

Sipping our drinks judiciously, Dan asked for our tab and was told that the older gentleman gifted us our drinks for the evening. “By the way, the gentleman said you are newlyweds. May I offer my congratulations?” 

WELCOME TO ARUBA!

A few short working days later, we were soaking-up the sun on the island of Aruba. Today, it is an autonomous country in the Kingdom of the Netherlands. To us, Aruba will alway be a Dutch island alive with the flair of Blue Delft ceramics, Divi Divi trees spreading out like broken umbrellas along the beach, and wild donkeys sashaying down the narrow streets and trails of this stunning but quaint Caribbean island that’s located several miles off the coast of Argentina. 

We drank Bon Bini cocktails while lounging around the hotel pool and rode horses along the white, sandy beaches. We ate Lobster Thermidor for the first time and when given milk at breakfast, were told they only served fresh goat’s milk at room temperature. I can remember every nuance of this fabulous week in paradise, together!

We fell in love all over again in Aruba, as if that were even possible. And now, forty-seven years later, love lives on and the memories are meant to be shared, forever, with family and friends alike. 

Happy Anniversary, Dan! Who knew what life had in store for us forty-seven years ago! I’d like to say that I wouldn’t change a thing, but there might be a few really rough patches we’d both like to tweak, if only for sanity’s sake. I couldn’t have asked for a better co-conspirator. I’m so grateful for finding my best friend along this journey through life!


Everyone...please stay healthy through these uncertain times. Wear a mask.

Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

LITTLE THINGS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR: “ALL BUT THE COFFEE!”

A series of essays....

A WALK THROUGH NATURE IS
A GREAT STRESS RELIEVER

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

The abuse of and abysmal charade that the presidency of this once honorable nation has become has left many of her people stressed out and forthrightly yearning for peace, understanding, and blissful calm. Many of us have turned towards the basic idea of being joyfully grateful for the little things that make-up our days and nights in order to obtain that bit of solace we so desperately require.

Staying in my room and reading a book often brought me peace and quiet from three brothers I shared my life with while growing up. Being the only girl of four children taught me many survival tactics that I would never have required if I’d been blessed with a sister to share my feelings with. At least, this is what my adult self believes. Books became my good friends and took me away to distant places far beyond the male dominated world I lived in.

By the time I hit my early teen years, their world became a part of mine and I learned to throw a perfect spiral, hit a ball out of the back yard, and employ a graceful swan shot that often sank ‘rimless’ into the net. I was always angry that I could never handle a slam dunk, even at an early height of 5 feet 7 inches! 

While scrolling social media a few days ago, I came across a meme that was so simplistic in nature it resembled an adult’s doodle; a child’s rendering of objects experienced in life and expressed in simple drawings in order to be shared with others. Even the wording employed a combination of upper and lower case letters, sometimes within the same word, suggesting a youthful approach to its wording and artwork.

“ALL BUT THE COFFEE.”

The meme itself brought a soothing calmness to my soul. Reading the many comments of others who appreciated the gentle nudge of its message brought a certain zen-like mellowness to my day and encouraged the feeling of hope all of us so desperately need right now.

I am a firm believer in reading the comments offered by others on social media. We are able to understand so much more about a particular article, picture, blog post, or meme by the reaction of those who have actually taken the time to read them, share their feelings, or offer their ideas (good, bad, or indifferent) about them.

Here are a sampling of reactions to this meme: “Feeling of cat fur and hearing the purring....” “Smell of fresh cut grass.” “Love and so thankful for the little things!” “Looking into my dogs eyes and seeing love.” “Rainbows and tea brewing.” “Being able to walk with no pain!” “Being blessed and grateful for the people in my life.” “So Grateful for all these LITTLE THINGS. 💕” “Not just the sound of rain, some actual rain would be good.” “Sleeping in and great coffee.” “All but the coffee!” “The sound of laughter.. Its very rare lately....”

Many people were grateful for everything on the list while others added to the original photo list with specific personal wishes, and others negated an item or two. This is why people fascinate me so much and keep the world spinning along on its axis. But, it was the final example and quote that I shared from the comment list that offered a sharp reality check more than anything else.

I began remembering all of the good hearted belly laughs shared throughout the years with family and good friends and how that wonderful tinkling sound of pure joy in compliance with unadulterated mirth would bring on self-induced hiccups, guffawing, and, in my case, uncontrollable snorting. (I truly apologize for this particular image, my friends.)

Laughter comes in many forms and instigated by a multitude of reasons. Whether it is expressed by chuckling, tittering, or giggling...it is the greatest and least expensive form of merriment we have as human beings while being able to openly express our happy, glorious selves! It was sad to know that people believe that hearing laughter ringing out is becoming a rare occurrence today. But then, even our smiles have become hidden behind triple filtered masks. 

Our eyes are becoming more interesting and expressive these days. With our smiles tucked away in public, for now, the ‘windows to our souls’ are working overtime! The eyes become wide with happiness, crinkled with laughter, and brighter with the anticipation of greater things to come. We must fight hard and hope that others do, as well, but in a little over 60 days from now I am predicting more smiles, laughter, pure happiness, and even uncontrollable snorting are in store for those of us who have sat back and watched a joyful world begin to implode in on itself.

For now, we’ll take our list of ‘Little Things To Be Grateful For’ and add our own personal touches to it. We’ll be content and happy for all of these small wonders that evoke fond memories, peace and calm, spirituality, gratification, pleasure, and love within us. And, we’ll work hard to regain the sense of pride in our lives that stemmed from being grateful for a deep conversation with friends and a cleansing walk in the forest after a summer’s rain. It’s the little things that help make us who we are. It will always be the little things that see us into a brighter future!

Register to vote. Wear a mask in public. Be kind. Vote.

Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved