IN THE SPIRIT OF JANE KENYON: THE SIMPLE BLESSINGS IN LIFE

 

A series of essays….

A RELAXING AFTERNOON AT PAPA AND GRIMIN’S HOUSE

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Sitting here looking around the living room of our little cottage in Kalamazoo, I chuckle to see toys, once again, strewn all over the floor; weapons of foot annihilation evident and the calmness of the tidy little space that normally surrounds us, in jeopardy.

The owner of these ‘weapons of mass destruction’ now sleeps several feet away. The ravages of the soft tissue of the human foot sparks dreams within her slumbering state that produce tiny smirks and the twitching of body muscles as she snuggles deeper into her makeshift bed of living room chair (leveling the vantage point between us) and her state of temporary inactivity. She is very content and happy.

We are most thankful for this. With her family miles away in New Jersey celebrating Thanksgiving with family and friends there, we are the grandparents and, for this week, the protectors of the fifth member of our daughter’s family. Oreo always seems to blend so easily into our lives making it very simple to love and accept her into our home whenever an occasion arises.

Having loved soft, furry K-9 children of our own throughout the years, we have grown accustomed to squeak toys, small plush animals, a ratty looking old sock or two, a shabby and well-loved bear, and rock hard rawhide chew toys littering the floor after a long day of play and excitement. However, the after effects of unexpectedly stepping on Lego-like, moist rawhide lingers in my mind. This memory continues to send a sharp pain throughout my system long after the fact. 

Soon, I will gingerly head into the kitchen to do what I do best of all—bake—with the intent of taking most of the results of my best efforts over to good friends to celebrate Thanksgiving together. My shadow, in the shape of an adorable Jack Russell, will appear at my heels the entire short trip from living room to kitchen and rest at my feet once we arrive.

The wind and scavenger birds just outside the large picture window have awakened our little princess enough to have her raise her head with a ‘what’s up?’expression on her ‘yin and yang’ face. But, by the time she reaches the white, wooden sill, paws firmly planted, the only thing to be seen is the twirling of dark brown leaves disturbed from the overhead gutter by a swooping blue jay moments before.

OREO IN REPOSE AND SPORTING
HER UNIQUE FACIAL MARKINGS.

Oreo dearly misses her family: those of a younger age, sporting spry, flexible joints belonging to the rising generation who can consistently keep up with her high-energy antics. Not that we are doddering and frail old fools just yet, but our lifestyle may consist more of long walks around the neighborhood rather than performing ‘touch-n-goes’ with tennis balls throughout the backyard. 

The shadows shift along the oak-stained wooden floors as the feeble, late autumn light filters through the undraped windows. I am thankful for the natural light and pray it shows itself as often as possible as winter approaches. The light speaks to me as it internalizes false-warmth and the precious hope for an early spring awakening. My years of mostly golden sunshine in Florida have spoiled me almost as much as my kids have spoiled my furry companion who visualizes chasing swirling brown leaves but is restricted by the panes of aged glass.

In the spirit of the late poet, Jane Kenyon, who believed in accepting and treasuring the simple blessings in life, I acknowledge and appreciate every aspect of goodness this life has to offer. In her poem ‘Otherwise,’ Kenyon reframes her day, moment by moment, “…as a series of non-necessary events — which is to say, a cascade of gift after gift. Even in and through our struggles, there are treasures to be found.”

If this is true, glorious treasures abound around me at this peaceful time transforming an ordinary day into another Thanksgiving Day! Oreo’s soft breathing, for instance. Scattered doggy toys. A blue jay. Or, delicious smells wafting in from our French country kitchen. I always have to remember that it might have been—otherwise.

“But one day, I know, it will be otherwise.” — Jane Kenyon

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! May you always appreciate the simple things in life and understand how humble and content they can make us feel. Count your blessings each and every day!

Copyright © 2021 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

BLESSED WITH THE DISCIPLINE OF AN ‘OLD SOUL’

 

A series of essays….

OUR GRANDDAUGHTER, LYDIA~
WE ARE VERY BLESSED.

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

“I asked an elderly man once what it was like to be old and to know the majority of his life was behind him.

He told me that he has been the same age his entire life. He said the voice inside of his head had never aged. He has always just been the same boy. His mother's son.

He had always wondered when he would grow up and be an old man. He said he watched his body age and his faculties dull but the person he is inside never got tired. 

Never aged. Never changed.

Our spirits are eternal. Our souls are forever. The next time you encounter an elderly person, look at them and know they are still a child, just as you are still a child and children will always need love, attention and purpose.”

~ Author Unknown

My complete fascination with those who have lived long lives and have the wrinkles, dark spots, crepey skin, and stories to show for it has been a part of me for many years. Their personal stories are plentiful and interesting. Wouldn’t you enjoy listening to the truth via those who have experienced it first-hand many years before us? 

When we first began traveling to Europe with our daughters back in 1990, I decided to choose a theme that would encourage me to take intimate pictures from everywhere we visited. My initial theme happened to be highlighting the elderly. I felt that they represented and bolstered the idea of a Europe that was historically much older than the United States and were at the top of the pyramid of family life and relationships. Each person I photographed was like a cherished leather bound storybook waiting to be read; they were all very beautiful with enticing, well-worn smiles that served as unique illustrations for their individual stories.

With my Canon slung over my shoulder while walking around a busy pedestrian shopping area in Munich, I captured a lady who was concentrating on steering her bike around the crowd of international tourists. Her brow-line was deeply furrowed while wisps of white hair escaped her small knit cap. Her stockings were rolled down her thin legs until they actually pooled just at the ankles. Suddenly her beautiful dark eyes found mine as I lifted the camera to capture her image.  

Instantly she became wide eyed and mellow and a smile unfolded across her narrow face like a colorful celebratory banner. Something awoke within her. In an instant, she gave to me far more than I could ever give her in return. She was mine to cherish for as long as I could stare at the image that was created that sunny afternoon in Germany.

During that trip, my Canon captured a sweet child of around three years of age who was unabashedly walking several paces from her mother in Auxerre, France; a lady, white hair swathed in a brightly colored scarf, walking home with several baguettes in hand; in another small village in France, a very fragile lady leaned out of her upper floor window and greeted everyone walking below with a resounding ‘bonjour’; two rather stately older gentlemen walking down a tree lined path who appeared to be working on improving the Irish economy with each sentence spoken; and our own daughter, Corinne, wide-eyed and disbelieving as she witnessed her first French pizza pie sporting an over easy fried egg on top as she took sips from our oversized mugs of frosty bier.

Even when I was young, I never shied away from elderly family members, neighbors, or strangers. I always found them to be charming and with so many stories to tell. Cousins and friends might have felt uncomfortable being in close proximity to the elderly sighting them as  different smelling, awkward to be around, and even a bit frightening. I often thought how happy I would be to have lived, laughed, and loved for so long! With any luck, we would all be there one day ourselves.

I attribute my feelings to my Grandpa Moshak, my mother’s Ukrainien father, who would have me tag along on a hot summer’s day as he would bring food, comfort, and conversation to those who lived in this Ukrainien section of Mishawaka, Indiana. Standing in a darkened kitchen, the sunlight barely drifting through half opened shades, I would observe Papa easing any concerns they may have with his soft spoken words and kind smile. They appreciated his patience and graciously accepted the help he offered them. This helped to make their daily lives tolerable in a country that did not understand their habits and language.

Thank you, Papa!

As we get older, all we truly need is for those younger, less tolerable, to understand and appreciate the years of life experience we have unintentionally allowed to seep into the vital cloth that makes up who we are. If we are lucky, the person we are inside never gets tired or old and the voice inside our heads never ages. The mind remains a sponge absorbing something new each day. Our body might age but the person we are inside continues to be active and vibrant when we allow it to. We are our mother’s daughters and sons; the same children we always were needing love, attention, and a purpose to keep moving forward.

Our only ginger grandchild, Lydia, will be celebrating her fourteenth birthday next week. Her great grandmothers, Olga and Beverly, would take pride in her thick, beautiful locks considering they were both gingers themselves. Lydia’s special day got me thinking about how precious and complex the life process is and how she has always accepted others at any age; already written her own stories about growing-up and respecting those around her. She is an ‘old soul’ in every sense of the term and has always had a very wise air about her. 

Turning fourteen must be the standard gauge used to quantify the precise moment we ‘younger souls’ can evaluate an ‘older soul’ within a young body. If this is the case, our precious Lydia, we acknowledge the many lifetimes that have contributed to your kindness and understanding throughout the years. You, like your great great grandfather, hold the wisdom, kindness, and truth that you so graciously project on all of us who know you.

Happy Birthday sweet young lady. I love you with all of my being!

May we never age or change within our hearts as our bodies grow older. May we only become wiser with the attitude and outlook of the child we were always meant to be. Our spirits are eternal. Our souls are forever. After all, we are only children who will always require love, attention, and a raison d’être.

Copyright © 2021 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

A SERIES OF ESSAYS AS SEEN THROUGH MY EYES!

 

A series of essays….

FINDING MY HAPPY PLACES THROUGH ARTWORK.
ORIGINAL PAINTING BY KATHLEEN KALINOWSKI AND ENTITLED:
~TRISH’S CHICKENS~
OIL ON LINEN PANEL - 9 X 12

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Life continues on in its ‘bits and pieces’ format day after day until the fuzzy borders of actions become more fluid and less blurred. I still can’t figure out if this is a good thing or not. I try to remember what life was like before COVID-19. I try to recall day-to-day actions before drumpt entered our lives on a full time basis. Oops! There go the blurry outlines once again. 

I try to remember when life started to become less sacred to some and pulling out a weapon to engage in the bodily harm of another human being became more and more commonplace. In other words, when did the sanctity of life begin to breakdown, tumble, and collide with the sharp edges of reality until life itself became meaningless and petty to so many people? At least, when did I begin to feel the menacing cuts, stabs, bruises, and sorrow associated with the world we live in today?

I know, the world has not been altered or changed that much after all of the wars we acknowledge from the past or the inequality between whites and people of color.  Many high school and college friends either died in Vietnam or came back home suffering from PTSD and the hatred of those who could only accept a win and despised our government and servicemen and women for bringing home a loss. So, the shallowness began for many of us fairly early in life.

Bits and pieces can add up quickly in one’s lifetime. Some would chastise others for proclaiming their choice to not bring children into a world so full of hatred and pain. Others won’t allow the negative side of life to affect them and tune out the news altogether keeping a false, mostly sunny aspect of life to guide them through the day while ignoring negativity and truth.

There are many good parts of life that draw me in, make me feel happy and graciously human and it’s good to always line them up like golden stars in the night sky and allow them to twinkle and shine for all they are worth! Marriage, children, job promotions, comfortable homes, my writing career, and cherished family and friends have become the chapters of a nonfiction book I continue to write and will share with my readers whenever possible. Travel experiences became its preface while each chapter highlights an individual experience or place that helps to make my life healthy, unique—and, sometimes, very sad.

Writing is a way to lay it all out on the counter for everyone to see. It is the freedom to move about the cabin as we see fit. It helps me blow off steam when life becomes too compressed and then praise the gods for spectacular events that change my life forever—having grandchildren always comes to mind.

Every single day we experience our own vulnerability; yet, we must find time to enjoy the act of being our own superhero in order to bolster any setbacks we and those around us might be experiencing.

Thinking back over eight years ago to before the creation of Moving On….2021, my Website, while living in Orlando, Florida, to just how naive I had been; how all of the small things affected me. How empty-nesting and leaving Michigan punctuated my vulnerability and sent me into a sad decline of self-worth all while bringing about a serious bout of depression. I fought through it, got a good job I thoroughly enjoyed, and, eventually, climbed out of the hole I had created for myself. 

I remember listening to the news before work one morning when a local newscaster, shock and despair apparent in her voice, detailed a fatal road rage shooting that took place behind a Walgreens store just a mile from our apartment. One man took another man’s life while they were both driving to work. There was no forethought as to if the victim had a wife and children. It was strictly a matter of I have a gun, he cut me off on busy Semoran Boulevard, and that gives me the right to shoot him! That was the beginning of the fear and distrust that was planted in my gut like small seeds waiting to grow. 

Unfortunately, they did grow. Not just in Orlando or even in Florida for that matter, but around the entire country. People were edgier and becoming more emboldened, less tolerant of people around them, and ready to light the fuse within themselves at any cost. Subsequently, Stand Your Ground laws (shoot first) were introduced seven years before George Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin, allegedly under self defense. These laws have helped promote the hatred that is growing exponentially while ignoring the mentally ill who often take advantage of them.

Guns. Guns. Guns. 

The mass shooting in Jacksonville in 2018 along with the massacres at Orlando's Pulse Nightclub, Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, and Parkland's Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, sent shivers down our spines. With assault rifles in many homes and gun laws weak or, practically, nonexistent, Florida residents were becoming hardened by how easy it was to have a gun in their possession and then plan ahead to use it on innocent people.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

We’ve barely survived four years with a narcissistic president and are working hard to change the backlash and damage of a tsunami that has led to massive destruction of personal lives and healthy mental well being. We are still battling a pandemic both scientifically and emotionally that has led one group to claim that their right of choice will always take precedence over everyone else’s right to be healthy and alive. And, there are the horrific ramifications from the acts of those who feel absolutely no remorse in exhibiting their obvious hatred of all people of color while believing in the power of white supremacy.

I will take the bits and pieces that make-up my life and turn them this way and that, making them fit together to the best of my ability, creating a majestic collage so colorful and sparkling it will ‘hurt your eyes beautiful.’ I will add love, one of the most effective drugs known to humankind, to this powerful mixture and fill in all of the cracks and holes with it like ‘magical grout’ keeping everything solid and secure. 

Believing in the goodness within all of us will take me above and beyond all of the evil I have already witnessed in this lifetime. Love is the ticket. Patience is a virtue. They must prevail.

Copyright © 2021 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

 

NOVEMBER: THANKSGIVING MULTITASKING

A series of essays….

AGING GRACEFULLY BY
ACCEPTING WHAT COMES NATURALLY

Photograph: Daphne, Channel 4

….as seen through my eyes!

 

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

As a child, no sooner would I be finished brushing every last calorie from my teeth and mouth after a victorious night out begging for sweet treats from strangers in our neighborhood, when my concentration turned to even more exciting celebrations! Halloween itself was a treat and delight to look forward to but, for me, it ushered in the ultimate annual celebration of early November — my birthday! 

November is my birthday month! Yes, I share it now with my husband who celebrates his birthday later in the month, with my granddaughter, Lydia, soon to be fourteen, even our son-in-law, Matt, as well as everyone exercising their right to vote on Election Day, the first Tuesday in November. Let’s not forget giving thanks and celebrating with friends and loved ones on Thanksgiving Day with delicious food, reminiscences, and good cheer. 

Even though November was such an impactful month for most of us in so many different ways, I always felt it was my month; my birthday ushered it into prominence with its promise of friends coming over, gifts to be opened, and cake and ice cream to be devoured once the candles were properly blown out. 

If my birthday happened to fall in the middle of the week (Tuesday through Thursday), it almost always guaranteed a longer course of celebratory bliss by extending the fun for me both in school and at home. A particular bonus would be if any one of my friends were celebrating their birthday on or around my own. Maybe I couldn’t have that summer beach party birthday I always wanted, but sharing the happiness, especially at school, was an extra special treat!

Today, I sit here before you with multiple wrinkles, dark spots and scars, every laugh line or weary look of despair and sorrow I’ve ever lived with, recounting the good times (and the not so good) right before my next birthday; marking the beginning of my very own month of November. The anticipation of joy and excitement remains a part of the process waiting to unfold…just like in my younger days when I was bedazzled by boxes wrapped in gaily colored paper and decked out with shiny ribbon and bows.

YOURS TRULY…

My regrets are few. Life has been pretty good so far. Giving back to others has always awakened my sense of purpose and catapulted good vibes all around reminding me that I’ve made it this far! The best is yet to come! But, when blowing out my candles today, there is one wish that overpowers all others. Some say that if we verbalize our wishes they will not come true. I will only tell you that our youngest daughter and three amazing grandchildren are involved in a large portion of my current hopes and dreams. 

Wonderful friends, my forever adopted sister, my husband and oldest daughter and family, all keep me grounded these days. They help control the glow from way too many candles that dazzle the senses while offering the opportunity to blow out the past and seek enlightenment from the here and now — along with my imagination and projected dreams. Living in the present while looking towards the future is the key. No matter how old we are, there will be a tomorrow to look forward to. All too often we forget this and stop dreaming altogether while abandoning our tomorrows like fine sand particles tossed into the wind.

The icing on the cake, so to speak, can be any flavor, color, or type; I have no particular favorite and never have. With it being an additional benefit to something already good, the cake and frosting are sweet receptacles that serve to hold the flame upright so that we may easily extinguish it in the hopes that our dreams will come true. Superstitious and pandering to our weaknesses or base desires — perhaps. Is this the reason we are told to keep silent about our particular wishes or they may not come true? How often have we kept a spreadsheet recording the outcome of our birthday wishes regarding success or failure? 

When I blow my candles out this year (more than likely composed of two numerical wax digits), I will look on the bright side of life and concentrate on making a wish and hoping it is fulfilled. If it isn’t satisfied immediately, I will work exceptionally hard during this next year to make it happen; each tiny flame pushing me harder and harder to complete a task successfully within the next 365 days. They are a  push we require to dream and make that dream come true.

After all, isn’t this really why we blow out the candles in the first place? 

Remember: If you don’t tell your own story, someone else may write it for you.

Copyright © 2021 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved