EMBRACING SOLITUDE AND MINDFULNESS

 

A series of essays….

LOVINGLY REFERRED TO AS ‘THAY’ (TEACHER), THICK NHAT HANH
IS A GLOBAL SPIRITUAL LEADER, POET, AND PEACE ACTIVIST

….as seen through my eyes!

Note: I wrote my initial story about Thich Nhat Hanh back on April 30, 2015, when I embraced Mindfulness for the first time. I, like millions of others, mourn his passing on January 22, 2022. His spirit will continue to touch all of us throughout time and space. JEH

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

I have waffled in-and-out between requiring a needy life and one filled with freedom and solitude ever since I can remember. Even as a small child, alone time with my toys surrendered to a feeling of complete contentment and joy. Today I embrace my downtime and gratefully add up all of the benefits it has afforded me.

Then my husband planned yet another business trip and I, admittedly, anticipated his week long absence. Yes, I don't believe I have ever embraced the old adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," simply because love should have no boundaries in time and space. Although, in truth, his gentleness was missed.....

MORNING SOLITUDE

Quite simply, I enjoy being alone! Funny how this conjures-up an image of Greta Garbo in the classic 1932 movie ‘Grand Hotel.’ The author of the book the movie was based upon, Vicki Baum, wrote that producer, E. Goulding, purposely changed the original line, “I wish to be alone” to “I want to be alone.” Interesting how Garbo made the word ‘alone’ sound like an entire line of dialogue!

    

Being a slave to office politics and corporate ladder climbs is a concept that defies all logic for me. The deep desire to be my own boss has been with me since the solitude and comfort of playing alone with my toys as a child. However, as an adult, this feeling of solitude and independence has gotten me into trouble within the corporate arena numerous times. Like I always say, another story, another time. 

Let's be honest, the world we live in can be volatile most of the time, and it is up to us to adapt to our surroundings, make positive changes where we can or, sink with the ship. Between natural disasters and simple human frailty with the lack of 'common sense' in general, our Earth is getting very annoyed with all of us humans right now!

Life has become the Chiliean Calbuco Volcano covering us in ash; a family of five living out of their car and hoping to see a light at the end of the dark tunnel; the ground shaking devastation of the Kathmandu earthquake; a mother attempting to cope with a sick child and avoid missing work at the same time; political unrest and religious intolerance; and a young, Black male afraid to walk down his own street in the light of day or darkness of night. Shall I go on?

I know that each generation harbors doubts about the wisdom of their particular journey in life. Unless you happen to be blessed with a peaceful heart and are the healthiest person ever known to walk the planet, your transgressions in this life will always find a way of catching-up to you. Guilt is generally the most transparent emotion we allow to haunt us—even when questioning our own bravery by surviving conflict when fellow soldiers may not have. We will all experience the black hammer of guilt pounding rhythmically over our heads at one time or another within our lifetime. 

The beloved Vietnamese monk, scholar and activist, Thich Nhat Hanh, has enlightened many of us with his pure, poignant thoughts about peace, love and compassion and how they are central to the teachings of both Buddha and Christ. He tells us how we must be aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life and vow to cultivate compassion and learn ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. We must be determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any act of killing in the world, in our thinking, and in our way of life.

After all, if we rightfully believe that we are all connected in body and spirit....killing others would truly be like killing a part of ourselves. Why would we do that? 

                                                             

MINDFULLNESS

CULTIVATE COMPASSION 

Returning to my desire to experience solitude in my life, allow me to introduce, in case you haven't heard of this belief already, the effort of practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is the energy to be here and to witness deeply everything that happens in the moment, and be aware of what is going on within and without, as per one of the Five Precepts of Buddhist Philosophy. Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present.

Mindfulness is a basic and more simple root structure of meditation itself that urges us to find wholesome, spiritual nourishment for ourselves and everyone who touches our lives. It can be found by looking up at the blue sky, down at the colorful spring blossoms, or into the eyes of a child.... Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that "The most basic meditation practice of becoming aware of our bodies, minds and the world around us can lead us into a far richer and more fulfilling state than any drug ever could." This is one example of what we called, back in the day, achieving a natural high. 

I believe that when I am alone, in a personal state of solitude  and bliss, I am able to see the world in a softer, more beautiful light containing strong hints of hope and love. So, for me, being alone is truly never a problem. As the white noise in my mind dissipates to unmask the 'vibrations of potential' and my outlook on life reaches momentous levels, the prospect of creative thought flows strong and free like a babbling brook in the springtime. I think every one of us knows where to find our solitude and joy. Knowing how to and wanting to find it is certainly a large part of this journey we are all on.

May I conclude by saying that my husband enjoyed his time away, as well, and returned home safe and sound after a very productive work week. 

Considering my deep connection with the power and healing prospects of Love, I leave you with another quote by Thich Nhat Hanh from his beautifully written work entitled "Living Buddha, Living Christ." 

 

            "Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing. Love instructs 

            us not to act in ways that will cause suffering now or 

            in the future. We can discern when something that 

            seems to be joyful has the capacity to destroy future 

            happiness, so we do not abuse alcohol, ingest                

            unhealthy foods or hurt others by our words. Real love 

            never ends. It will be reborn and reborn."

Copyright © 2022 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

REPUBLICAN PARTY REFUSES TO STAND-UP FOR DEMOCRACY

 

A series of essays….

A DARK DAY FOR DEMOCRACY WITH GOP BLOCKING VOTING RIGHTS BILL

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

A very wise person and good friend of mine once predicted that our great nation would self-destruct from the inside out. This was nearly fifteen years ago. I debated with John as to the validity of his words and often wondered (worried) if he might just be right. I prayed that he wasn’t. Today, I sit here and contemplate the reality of it all as his words continue to ring in my ears.

Naivety. While most of us were still under the impression that good would always overpower evil, the underbelly of the ‘beast’ was being exposed, inch by painful inch. And, most of us weren’t even aware of it happening. Innocence. We were incapable of understanding that as we lived our day-to-day lives, others were working hard to undermine the freedoms we took for granted. And, had been doing so for many years. After all, isn’t freedom what our soldiers fought and sacrificed so much for in the Great Wars and more?

It has taken an evil, selfish, and hateful man/child to enter our lives, spread his tentacles of lies for years while holding the highest political office in our democratic government, before we so much as acknowledged the lasting harm he and his ilk were creating within our country. “Oh, he’s new to politics,” they said. “He’ll learn as he goes and we shouldn’t worry.” Naivety. We listened, initially. Many fell under his clownish spell and hoped for a better life because his lies had become their lifebouy connected to the sinking ship they felt they were on. 

THE ORANGE LIFEBOUY WAS
TOTALLY UNINTENDED?

Journalist didn’t know how to handle this ‘orange mess’ and used his antics and childlike behavior as fuel for higher ratings, more popularity. As if laughing with, as well as at this arrogant buffoon, his family and intimate cronies, would ease the tension of what was happening right under our noses in Washington D.C. How many presidents would have gotten away with his open friendship with Vladimir Putin and been allowed to meet privately with him with no one witnessing or recording what was said? He allowed Russian diplomats into the inter sanctum of the White House. He failed to answer a natural disaster by actually helping the people affected by it. He allowed thousands of Americans to perish because he felt that, financially, it would be detrimental to him if COVID-19 was even acknowledged.

You and I both know that I could go on and on with many more prime examples of his treachery before, during, and after his presidency.

But, we all see and feel the results of his abusive behavior. Between the pandemic we’ve been attempting to cope with and the continuing power grab of this unholy person and the monsters he’s helped to create within the Republican Party, we are being overwhelmed by all of the emotions projected by our initial naivety, innocence, and intense underestimation of what was actually going on. Physically, it is taking a toll on us. The term psychological warfare comes to mind with his use of various techniques, such as propaganda, terror, and fear, to induce or reinforce attitudes favorable to a war effort among our population and government. The insurrection of January 6, 2021, being a direct result of this.

Garry Kasparov, Soviet-born chess master and writer, recently said, “The point of modern propaganda isn’t only to misinform or push an agenda. It is to exhaust your critical thinking, to annihilate truth.”

Now, we are suffering for our lack of an appropriate response by not identifying this man and his negative policies even before his presidential campaign began. We are exhausted but, some of us, still search hungrily for the truth. We should be ashamed for not exposing him as the monster he was and remains to be today while holding him, and everyone who regarded him as their personal ticket to ripping-off taxpayers, unequivocally responsible. Hillary Clinton tried her best, but not many listened to a woman.

Instead, we viewed him strictly as the bloated clown he has always been. If we make it through this era of greed vs. law in one piece, Constitutional law has to be placed under magnified scrutiny as we enter the phase of understanding how we’ve been so manipulated by the same people we voted into office to represent us. Fifty Republican senators are now wiping our faces in the muddy politics of their own greed and fear.

As I type this piece, the year-long Democratic push for federal voting rights legislation neared a futile end tonight, after Senate Republicans blocked an elections bill for the fifth time in six months and Democrats appeared unable to unite their caucus behind a plan to rewrite the Senate’s rules and pass it anyway—as stated by the Washington Post.

And, the beat goes on.  Even with a gentle man now in office who is utilizing his many years in the Senate as examples of what to do in times of crisis and peace, our country is divided, with the chasm that separates us growing larger every day. If you see our nation as being a white man’s world, having elected a black man as president must have certainly put you over the edge, challenged every fiber of your being. If you acknowledge and believe that all men and women are created equal and deserve the right to be treated as such, it is difficult to understand why everyone doesn’t share these same, basic views of respect and love.

But, blatantly disregarding the law by thinking that the right to vote is only for a chosen few instead of for all is unfathomable! This goes against everything that we understand to be  important and believe in as a nation. Or, so I thought.

Instead, we have become a nation divided and, with each passing day, democracy slips further away. John F. Kennedy wrote, “Democracy is the superior form of government because it is based on a respect for man as a reasonable being.” Respect for mankind has hit a new low tonight. If it slips even further down this slippery slope led by the Republican Party, even a good man like Joseph Biden as President may not have the support to correct the decline in time.

I will place my head on my pillow tonight and dream of what could be, pray that we are much stronger than my friend John’s prediction of self-destruction, pray for democracy to rule this midterm election, and attempt to fall into a deep sleep. The last part is becoming more difficult as time goes by.

“I never imagined that today’s Republican Party would not stand-up for democracy.”    —Senator Maggie Hassan from New Hampshire, January 19, 2022

EVERYONE DESERVES THE
RIGHT TO VOTE….!

Copyright © 2022 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

 

A series of essays….

FLOURISH LIKE A TREE AND
GROW BIGGER, STRONGER, BETTER 
AS YOU DANCE INTO YOUR FUTURE…

                                        Courtesy of Darius Bashar

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Have you ever asked yourself how you would like to be remembered by those people whom you have touched here on earth in one way or another throughout the years? I’m certain there are many of you who believe this is a silly question based on the fact that it really wouldn’t matter considering you might never truly know or care about it one way or another after you’ve passed on. At any rate, some of you may care and, if you do, these reflections are for you.

From little children on most of us are taught how to be polite, coordinate our outfits for school, groom our hair, brush our teeth and keep them healthy and white, smile don’t frown, and, in general…look and do our very best in this lifetime. The world is constantly looking at us and judging us on the outside believing that our human veneer should, generally, correspond with our core values. 

I think about the cartoons I’d watch on Saturday mornings as a child and remember, specifically, the one about the wolf in sheep’s clothing. This concept of skullduggery was ingrained within my memory for years to follow and led me to mistrust the obvious and research the unknown before making any final decisions about how to react to strangers and many questionable circumstances. But, it made me wary about others even more than I probably should have been. Innocence be damned; the joy and delight of spontaneous discovery in new faces and situations was left dormant for a few years.

The goodness and kindness of others began to far outweigh any negativity around the age of six or seven after entering my second (with six more to follow before my eighth grade year) parochial elementary school. With dad having to relocate often for his job, we moved with him and my brothers and I became dependent upon the Catholic nuns and new friendships we made along with each one of our moves. 

Fortunately, the schools I attended offered stimulating diversity with students from various regions of the United States in attendance. This is when my love for travel reached new heights. Friendships with these students, conversations about their lifestyles, culture, and customs, gave me purpose and wanting more. 

Throughout my first fifteen years of living, skin color did not impact my life. I understood that all human beings are created equal in every sense of the word. And, it wasn’t until the mid to late ‘60’s that it became apparent that not everyone felt this way.

My heroes became authors who wrote about and described other lands and their people, teachers and professors who went far and beyond a traditional schedule or routine, foreign students (especially at university) who shared their world with fellow students, and politicians willing to take that extra step required to draw everyone together and make the world a better place for all! This group of mine included activists, singing artists, musicians, and so many more. It was an age that stimulated minds, tempted fragile egos, and taught us the importance of diversity in all of its shapes and forms. 

Harper Lee. D. H. Lawrence. Henry Miller. V. S. Naipaul. Robert Ruark. Doris Lessing. Abbie Hoffman. Cesar Chavez. Gloria Steinem. Bob Dylan. Joan Baez. Richie Havens. 

The more I read, the more specifics I learned and yearned for.

The 1963 novel, The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Friedan introduced many young women and housewives to the possibilities of living a fuller, more creative life inside and outside of the home. The book became a battle cry for young women all over the western world and permanently transformed the social fabric of the United States and countries around the world. 

Many of us were stunned to learn about the ‘lack of response’ decision by the Supreme Court of the United States regarding the Texas abortion law in December of 2021 and the killing of Roe v. Wade in Texas in the process. After hearing the court’s weak  arguments on the constitutionality of the Mississippi abortion  law shortly afterwards, I wrote my own poem in rebuttal to these dangerous decisions made by this conservative court:

             Sisterhood Is Powerful

                          By Jacqueline E Hughes

I made it out of bed this morning and

stepped into a time capsule. It felt like I was 

eighteen again. I dressed under the scrutiny 

of Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, Toni Cade, and 

“Battling Bella” Abzug. It felt like I was eighteen 

again. We (women) were spitting out slogans

like “Sisterhood is Powerful.” Fighting for 

equality and the right to be free. It felt like I was 

eighteen again. Ideals we fought for as 

young women were dissolving. Sugar in 

the waters of subjugation.

“The government does not belong in our 

bedrooms.” “My body, my choice.” It felt like 

I was eighteen again. Discovering that men are 

oppressors; understanding that women are, too.

Always fighting for what should have already 

been ours: positive self-image, respect, equality. 

I felt like I was eighteen again. So tired of 

making coffee, not policy. It was the Freedom Trash

Can that collected our bras. I felt like I was 

eighteen again. Enslaved within skin colored black,

white, brown, red, yellow. Charging forward, the 

Staff of Determination clenched tightly in our hands.

Why would we stand down, give up, go home unsatisfied after all of these years? I feel like I am eighteen again. Making the world a better place for all generations. Believing in justice. I feel like I am eighteen again. Surviving the stench of the current political fervor that’s bent on dismantling the past. This, too, shall pass. Good people, women and men, continue to lead, wisely. And one day, I know, our struggles will be…otherwise. 

We were so proud to have lived in the colorful Sixties: the decade of the pill, Black Power, the Stonewall riots, Vietnam, and Flower Power. “It was the decade that The Beatles got bigger than Jesus!” It launched second wave feminism, and the time when pro-choice found its voice. We became the ‘Baby Boomer Generation’ who was rebellious, experimental, and loaded with self-confidence. Sadly, we were made to witness major political assassinations that, through the death of our heroes, brought about social change. 

President John Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Senator Robert Kennedy, and many more had no choice in their final legacy once their productivity was so abruptly taken from them. But, their life stories do live on through the work they unselfishly accomplished while living a shortened but generous life, as well as through their spouses and children determined to keep their memory (legacy) alive. For the most part, they will be remembered for the goodness they espoused during their time here on earth.

If our own life is slated to be taken away as abruptly, how would we be remembered by those we leave behind? If we are lucky enough to live a healthy life long into our 90’s or even 100’s, will we be happy that we’ve traveled enough, worked hard enough, helped others less fortunate than ourselves, and made good changes in this world that reflect a better life for ourselves and others? How will we be remembered after time spent among our fellow human beings?

If we are satisfied with the answers to all of the above questions, facing our own death should not bother us, otherwise. Preparing for the inevitable by living a lifestyle worthy of ourselves and being human along the way is a noble way of living. We should strive for and humbly appreciate being forever remembered in this way.

“The scholar fashioned wings
of his design
and leapt from the citadel,
drifting amid radiance
toward injury and fame.
What bondage is weight?
Even in burial
we ascend.”

Copyright © 2022 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

CLOSING ONE DOOR WHILE OPENING ANOTHER

 

A series of essays….

A SEA OF CHRISTMAS ‘2021’ PAST

…as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Removing each glittering bauble, stretch of sparkling gold ribbon, and string of miniature white lights from the tree is bringing its own form of closure to the season. Closing shop for now. See you in a few months. In the meantime, enjoy the beauty of glistening snowscapes and multi-colored flowers and salmon-hued sunsets while walking the sandy beaches of Lake Michigan and the crisp, earthy tones related to a perfect autumn day—all in the weeks and months to come.

The commercial side of the holidays is being wrapped in white cotton and tissue paper and placed in its container for protection. But, the pure joy that the season creates through the gathering of family and friends, and the expression of love, gratitude, and purpose—should last us a lifetime. 

After all, it’s a new year with fresh ideas and plans formulating to give it heft and a new identity! Instead of thinking about the new half-bath upstairs, maybe it’s time to make it happen; clean out the boxes of ‘stuff’ that have cluttered and layered your life for the past three years. Hang some drywall and make the upstairs warm and accommodating for grandchildren and future guests. 

Why don’t you bring someone new into your family, as well…?

Glancing at the bedside clock, I see it glowing 6:22 in the early hours of this brand new, January day. Dan has vacated the warmth of our nocturnal retreat at least fifteen minutes beforehand.

Gently pulling the blue, satin draperies aside several inches, I gaze out at the front yard that is speckled with tiny paw prints that perforate the new snowfall, helping it breathe with instant vigor and excitement. Somewhere out there, in the dawning of this new day, walking gingerly through the snow himself while   carrying  the handle of a retractable dog leash, is my husband. Recharged, reenergized  by the simple responsibility of caring for the needs of someone much smaller than himself, he dons full winter gear in order to take the newest member of our little family outside in the early morning temps to “do her thing!” I realize he has completely potty trained her in less than a week.

She was an unexpected gift, manna from heaven, a total surprise package wrapped in strawberry blond fur and bejeweled with razor sharp baby teeth and everything else expected of a puppy three months old. She was our rescue puppy who still had not been given a formal name and was brought to us by Santa herself on Christmas Eve morning. Santa being a well-intentioned single mom who felt she was doing the right thing by her three young children; saddened by the reality that she’d bitten off more than she could possibly chew.

This kind lady knew that we could and would love this sweet little girl, as well as provide her with a happy home and energetic visits with our own young grandchildren.  She had simply committed the venial sin of overestimating her own value of time and perseverance when it came down to juggling all of the balls of being a single mom, working five days a week, and carving out a slice of ‘alone’ time so that she could breathe. Being an excellent mother, she was able to realize what was truly important in her life at this time and understanding that being there for her kids did not have to mean taking on the burden of training an energetic puppy along with everything else.

WHO, ME? I DIDN’T DO IT!

I had often envisioned my own youthful Mother with the fiery red hair that this puppy possesses and momentarily thought of calling her Olga after Mom. But, we threw quite a few names into the air that day hoping to have just the right one land where it should. 

Having only a plush toy zebra, a leash, and plastic food and water dishes, we decided to run to Blaine’s for some much needed supplies. Taking her with us, out of necessity, we secured a small crate and cushion, ceramic dishes, a harness and retractable leash, small rawhide bones (much better than our arms to nibble on), and healthy puppy chow to begin her new diet. The entire time there we were tossing names back and forth at one another like tennis players in the midst of an engrossing match.

Given my love for the name Aubrey, we began calling her Bree with Chewbacca (Chewie) as a middle name. Most appropriate, I believe. Bree it was and is and she recognizes it with the turn of her head and the stare of her small, intensely bright, deep brown eyes every time she hears it.

Our lives have changed, too! How could they not? We have expanded our love to someone who truly needs and depends on us making us feel purposeful again. Having lost our Cocker Spaniel, Brûlée, six years ago, it was time to allow the warmth and happiness of this puppy into our Michigan home. I know her presence has pulled Dan and I closer, as well. 

What a perfect win-win situation for all of us! Now, our little yellow/green cottage has become complete in every way. We intend to honor each seasonal change with Bree close by our side for many years to come. After all…that’s what family is all about!

DAN MEETING BREE FOR 
THE FIRST TIME

Copyright © 2022 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved