BREAKING THROUGH THE MORNING FOG

 

A series of essays….

A PERFECT APPALACHIAN MORNING

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

When I swing my legs out of bed each morning, before they remotely make contact with the floor, there is a small, concise ritual I go through in order to jump-start my day. With our mornings remaining dark and cozy until well after six, the atmosphere is conducive to a relaxed mood and a clear mindset.  

This is my time to converse with that which I believe to be the all-connecting power that is greater than myself and unites us, humankind, together as a whole; one entity that defines our existence and qualifies our essential nature. I have always accepted that we are not set upon this beautiful place we live, Mother Earth, alone and helpless. We will always need and have one another. 

So, my ritual is one of Thanksgiving. And here, after all this time, you thought this celebration only lasted one day, the fourth Thursday of November, and commercially entitled, Turkey Day! Not exactly. I sit comfortably with my shoulders pushed back, my spine straight, and eyes closed. When I am ready, only after taking several deep, intoxicating breaths, I repeat out loud, as often as I wish, two simple words—two words we teach our children to say whenever they are grateful for something like a new toy, an unexpected surprise, or a simple compliment. Straightforward and completely honest, I say out loud, “Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.”

After all, it's pretty wonderful to be able to move, sit up and breathe each morning, isn't it? We are alive to meet-and-greet yet another day and that, in and of itself, is intrinsically very cool!  

Opening my eyes to the new day, it's time to formulate a simple plan for myself. It's time to set my intentions for the day. Yes, making coffee as soon as possible is a good plan, but more of a mandatory requirement for my well-being and sanity rather than a good intention, I think. My thoughts are more in terms of having a purpose or goals set for the day and to design a strategy with the intent of achieving them gracefully and with dignity. 

My goals may be as uncomplicated and purposeful as in sharing a smile with everyone I see that day, or being productive and focussed enough to have written two-thousand words by the end of my workday. Whatever my purpose is, my intent is to see it through to fruition, but knowing that if I do not, I will not beat myself up over it. I will only try harder the following day with several new goals.

This is the time that I sit back and smile, smile, smile as big and wide as I possibly can! You know the kind of smile I'm talking about. The kind that raises your cheeks up high, fills your body with warmth and makes you feel a bit silly sitting alone in the semi-dark looking like the Cheshire Cat on a good day!  With his distinctive and mischievous grin, you can almost hear this Tabby Cat's quote from Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, published in 1866, and remains prevalent today: "Most everyone's mad here. You may notice that I'm not all there myself."

 I cannot take myself seriously this early in the morning. But, I know that my intentions are good and smiling makes me feel good.  So, if during this long, complicated day, I feel as though my body wishes to disappear from time to time, the last thing visible on my face will be an iconic grin depicting a win for kind souls, everywhere.

 Before slipping my waiting feet into blue flip-flops, affectionately known as 'my slippers,' in order to begin my day (making that fresh pot of coffee), there is one last step to be taken in my morning ritual. This is the time for me to forgive myself and ease my guilt over yesterday's mistakes. I remember the goal of two thousand words that only added up to be five hundred. Perhaps my smiles were not as lavished upon others as I had originally intended. Maybe I was a bit too short-tempered with a loved one who made an innocent mistake?  

This is where you set yesterday's misguided actions aside and actually try to understand Scarlett O'Hara's mantra from the classic movie, Gone with the Wind, based on the novel written by Margaret Mitchell: "I can't think about that right now. I'll think about that tomorrow. After all... tomorrow is another day." 

The idea of putting things off for another day used to represent inadequacy in the form of failure or shame for me. Placing my stubbornness and strong will aside for a moment in order to see a much broader picture of the world, and having lived a full, wonderful life (let's just say, a few years now beyond my sixties?), the importance of being patient and more tolerant becomes normal and acceptable. Especially true when dealing with myself!

As soon as I realize that there is yet another chance of 'getting it right' and my deep breaths represent twenty-four new hours of hope and determination, it's easy for me to forgive myself for yesterday's mistakes and understand it’s time to move on.

Now, sitting here sipping my coffee and having placed my day, my life, in order, I realize how cherished these few minutes alone each morning really are. Between the tantalizing aroma of the fresh brew and the prospect of a new day, a new beginning.... and with a  smile on my face the Cheshire Cat would certainly be proud of, I remain calm and carry on.

Copyright © 2022 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

EVEN TREES DO IT!

 

A series of essays….

MOUNTAIN FOREST LOCATED AT BOYD’S MOUNTAIN LODGE
IN THE SMOKY MOUNTAINS OF WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA

….as see through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

A taproot is a large, central, and dominant root from which other roots sprout laterally. Typically a taproot is somewhat straight and very thick, is tapering in shape, and grows directly downward.   —Macmillan Dictionary

Human beings are connected to one another via our roots. Our ancestors established these roots and continually serve as support and nourishment for our mind, body, and soul. Because they are the deep, underground portion of our very selves, we draw sustenance from them; they help to guide us through time and can be a formidable and intimate source of strength and encouragement when we need them the most. 

The current interest in programs such as Finding Your Roots and Who Do You Think You Are? illustrates the fact that, as humans, our desire to discover and explore our roots has become very important to us. 

What exactly are we hoping to find from our past? And, are we always ready to accept what we do find? Having pride in who we are and where we come from seems to be the main object of our search. We’d like to think that all of our ancestors were strong, kind, and philanthropic individuals who were the pillars of the community in which they lived and we derive from. 

Dissatisfaction with our taproot due to blatant cruelty or lack of higher standards may spread laterally, we fear, and influence us via our mutual root structure. If the basis of our own existence crashes in disappointment, how do we expect to find the nourishment and support we need in order to grow stronger and wiser?

Then again, just knowing what it would take to be more competent than those in our past should allow us to make better choices for ourselves in the long run; acting responsibly today in order to establish a better tomorrow.

As I work to establish my portion of the root structure network that may or may not be analyzed by those in the future, the question of character and life giving support for everyone who is touched in one way or another by my own daily journey—arises. Am I good enough, strong enough, and will my character contribute to the strong roots my offspring need to help get them through life’s experiences?

GRANDDAUGHTERS: AMAZING!

I wish to be remembered as a bit wacky but an extremely fun, caring, loving, talented, and artistic person by all of the important people in my life. This would be the richest legacy I could possibly hope for. 

The spark that ignited my current train of thought was fueled by the several bins of photographs I’ve been going through as we continue to weed out, categorize, and re-evaluate our stuff after moving back to Michigan from Florida! If our ancestors are the taproot we plug into for information about ourselves, photographs are the memories that surround us, ground us, and confirm in our minds activities from the past and present. Pleasantly, as one picture is hastily flipped behind another and strips of brown negatives slide to the floor, I realize how important our interaction with close friends throughout the years adds important meaning to the life we lead.

My sweet ‘sister friend’ often reminds me that good friends can become closer and more reliable than our own flesh and blood. There is that special bond within a productive friendship that sweetens through time and produces a caring and loving relationship between those who accept how important it can be to both parties. Since moving up to Kalamazoo, I understand and have experienced how beautiful and important a relationship like this can be. I thank all of my sisters for their acceptance of me and never ending love!

Yes, there are some outstandingly brave people that line my ancestry hall of fame: grandparents who fled the ravages of war in the Ukraine before WWI and found a good life together in the United States, a great aunt who protected my fifteen-year-old father from a wayward life by taking him under her wing, and a loving mother who, even though caught between the chapters of history, knew the importance of raising her children with an abundance of love and kindness.

HARTWICK PINES STATE PARK
SEPTEMBER 15, 2019

 

As we have recently discovered, the lateral roots of all trees work in harmony in the forest and are connected to one another as they reach out for the flow of nutrients from mother trees offering sustenance to their neighbors and offspring. The continued theme of gaining nourishment from our own roots impacts how humans sustain themselves and those around them. Family photos become framed displays of joy and pride with pictures of loved ones spread across the family room wall like ivy along a brick facade; feeler roots clinging to each crevice hoping to thrive throughout time and never be  forgotten.

The strong interconnection among family, friends, places, and celebrations along the years can be a heady experience. I will put the images away for now hoping my emotions are calmed by their brief absence. How satisfying to know that our taproots dive down deeply, powerfully within us after having sprouted sturdy guidelines and memories available to tap into whenever we feel the need to learn more.

Copyright © 2022 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

ANYONE FOR A CIVIL CONVERSATION?

 

A series of essays….

“WE NEED TO BE MAKING FRIENDS AND COMMUNICATING WITH
THOSE PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH US. WE CAN LEARN 
FROM ONE ANOTHER.” —BRENT HILL

Photo Credit: Kateryna Kovarzh // Adobe

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Just as we’ve adopted the commercial name of Kleenex as the standard title for all tissue products, or hear the prescribed adage of, “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning,” as consumers, we have come to accept lumping similar products together under one name or description. As my mom used to do when her blood pressure would rise over a wrong deed done by one of her four children, she would start calling all of our names, randomly, until by the fourth try the guilty party was established. 

Equally, the political backlash in the U.S. has divided us into two groups with nary an inch of gray space in between them. There isn’t the bleeding over of thought, ideas, or good intentions that could define the middle of the road, any longer. Prodded by big money, we are losing our middle class and creating a country based on corporate and personal gains while isolating the poor and racially abused population on the lower end of the spectrum. If money equals power, then the power has shifted towards the handful of elites who hold the purse strings. 

Without thinking about the ramifications of our thoughts and actions, we have adapted to good vs. evil, black or white, Right vs. Left, and damn anyone who might be left in between! Yes, despite what you think, there are some of us out here wondering just where we stand within the broader picture; many of us are willing to arbitrate political disputes among us without generic labeling while hoping against hope that it’s not too late for civil conversations and group discussions to guide us into the Promised Land of civility and understanding.

A kind friend at Sunday morning breakfast was gently questioning a mutual friend of ours about how and why he feels the way he does about his own political beliefs with the intention of drawing out plausible answers and melding ideas to work with. Without condescension as part of the equation, all of us at the table realized a modicum of insight into one another’s world. We may not have agreed, but it was all brought to the table without anyone losing their heads, literally. It can be done. All of us just need to take the time to talk, try to understand, and, most importantly, listen to one another.

I am an idealist and a dreamer and always have been. It is difficult to live in a world where a prominent sports figure, having allegedly abused twenty women, receives the largest contract ever written in football history and is punished for his alleged crimes by not being able to play in his next six games. Meanwhile, a nine-year-old girl is raped by a thirty-something male, becomes pregnant and has to leave her home state of Ohio to have an abortion in Indiana due to the elimination of Roe vs. Wade and the repercussions of this loss from state to state. 

Where is the cooperation expected of rational human beings going about their day with the belief that all people are created equal? All people, regardless of their skin color, sexual orientation, or political beliefs? No, we cannot lump everyone under the Kleenex brand and expect all to be right or equal in this world. Humans cannot and should not function in this way. 

But money can be such a fickle mistress, never constant or loyal in affection; likely to change frequently upon a whim. To remain loyal to obtaining money, legally or illegally, old or new, places anyone in a highly vulnerable position. At this point, one’s morals and standards enter into the relationship and serve to guide us in a positive, healthy direction. Greed can be a cancer, dark and cruel, serving only a handful of people for a limited amount of time until death do they part. The selfish desire for power weakens the body, mind and soul until each is an empty husk and incapable of behaving in a whole and rational manner.

Thinking about such selfishness raises my blood pressure as I mentally list the current oppressors who desire to lead us back into a time when men owned slaves, women were second-class citizens, Black people were considered inhuman, and only white men were believed to be fit enough to rule. It’s not necessary for me to give them recognition by stating each one by name. 

Let us consider the art of a civil, respectful conversation in which a dialogue between two people or a group intends to build a better understanding; where all parties do not have to agree. What truly matters is the act of listening to one another and learning where we come from and why we feel the way we do about the topics being discussed. In this way, civil conversation focuses on process rather than results.

Copyright © 2022 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved