BREAKING GLASS CEILINGS WITH PINKY PROMISES

A series of essays....

ELIZABETH WARREN AND YOUNG FRIEND SWEARING
TO BALANCE THE SCALES OF THE FUTURE

        Courtesy of Twitter

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

“Do things to take care of yourselves, gather up your energy, because I know you are coming back. I know you — and I know that you aren’t ready to leave this fight. Our work continues, the fight goes on, and big dreams never die.” — Senator Elizabeth Warren, March 5, 2020

Sitting there on Tuesday morning in voting Precinct No. 25, surrounded by short, plastic walls made to protect my privacy, my personal space, and contemplating the large piece of paper before me, I felt cheated. This time, as opposed to November of 2016, I felt sad and deprived of being able to darken the little bubble adjacent to her name. My spirit was broken. I was a little girl once again being told that my older brother was the ‘golden boy’ and I’d better get used to being just a -- girl. 

Of course, the appropriate bubble was darkened, my next choice for president, and the pen replaced on the little table supporting my three-sided cocoon. This was not the first time we felt demeaned for being women and, I knew, it would not be the last. 

PROUD TO HAVE JUST VOTED

This lady is the real deal and there isn’t a single emotion she doesn’t understand and cover within her plans to make this nation a better place. Through healing, strengthening, and being as capable as any person I know, Elizabeth is unwavering. And, she trusts that her supporters will do the right thing and turn Washington D.C. blue in November.

That alone, overturning 45’s regime, bounced back at me when making my final decision on Tuesday. By the time we walked out of our precinct in Kalamazoo, Michigan, a feeling of kindness and hope washed over me along with the bountiful spirit of Elizabeth Warren herself. 

She writes that she knows we’ll be coming back and that none of us are ready to leave this fight — how could we? There’s too much at stake to be lost and forgotten about: Health care, the manipulation of Wall Street, canceling student loan debt, universal child care, consumer financial protection, creating a wealth tax (only 2 percent, sir, just 2 percent), and dealing with the current (orange?) elephant in the room, 45 and all of his minions. She has a plan already established to handle each one of these. Her knowledge and expertise would be too much to ignore. We’ll be hearing a lot from her in the months and years to come!

The true ‘elephant in the room’ right now is gender equality. 

Why must we continue to push aside strong women and their nurturing, insightful ideas in order to accommodate old, white men? This is far more than a political fight; women in every aspect of life and time have been fighting this gritty battle. We only hear about it collectively when the spotlight centers on the media attention of women running for president or women seeking equal pay for the same jobs performed by both women and men. How long will it take to have the scales balance out? 

Sadly, I believe that it can be women themselves who tend to sabotage other women and I’ve written about this before. Whether we believe what men have been telling us all along...that we are inferior creatures, or that women are not strong or capable enough to be good leaders, I continue to be amazed by how many women believe these weak theories and, actually, abide by them. 

I believe that if all women voters truly saw females in positions of leadership and decided to persist, dream big, and fight hard, presidential candidates by the names of Amy Klobuchar, Kamala Harris, and Elizabeth Warren would still be in the running; one may even have become the Primary winner! Girl power really isn’t a promise fulfilled unless more and more girls are on the same page together and join the ultimate fight to win. Hence, pinky swearing! We must never allow society to dictate our beliefs and take away our free thinking.

THIS SAYS IT ALL....!

As long as women feel crushed by the intimidation of men, we may never see a good, strong women in the White House. We are all stronger and better than this...and we know it. The day must come when the sheer value of all human beings is recognized and highly appreciated by everyone. Stay tuned for the general fight for gender equality. If there must be a revolution, Mr. Sanders, let it be with gender equality as the winning prize!

We will always acknowledge and appreciate the love and support offered by the strong men out there who have our backs and believe in us, as well.

If we, as women, can recognize the power we own to move ahead and beat all odds stacked against us by the haters and naysayers, then we have a shot at making life better for ourselves, our daughters, and our granddaughters. So, if four-hour selfie lines and hundreds of ‘pinky promises’ made with little girls sounds endearing to you, quite simply, they are. They offer us hope for the future and transfer the love and self esteem we need to move on into a brighter, better world to live in. 

Thank you Senator Warren for everything you have done and continue to do to help us realize the power within each and every one of us.

Note from the author: 

Sending all of you soft elbow bumps and, slightly distant waves, and gifting you the strength to stay calm and carry on....! Even if you are not at high risk yourself, please know we ALL have a health obligation to every soul around us, as well as the moral requirement to prevent the spread of this virus. God bless all of us in the weeks and months to come.

Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

WHO DOESN'T LOVE A PURPLE ELEPHANT?

 A series of essays....

ARTIST DON SAWYER: THE PURPLE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

I’ve always been drawn to primary colors; the brighter the better. So, when we entered the rental condo of our friends last week, our attention was drawn to the bright, cheery, and verging on kitschy artwork that dominated the walls in each room. And, this set the visual pace for our week on Okaloosa Island, Florida, located just west of Destin along the Emerald Coast.

Really, who doesn’t love a purple elephant? Who wouldn’t be fascinated by a three-story houseboat bobbing on the blue Gulf waters, or listen to a brightly colored fish telling island stories? And, in keeping it all real, who wouldn’t be a little concerned by their circumstances in the aftermath of a Gulf of Mexico hurricane? I began to feel that this was the proper way to set the theme for a true island vacation. And that’s exactly what the four of us set out to do!

COLLECTED WORKS OF DON SAWYER

Beginning with the island of Aruba for our honeymoon many years ago, Dan and I began our marriage subconsciously seeking out a variety of islands to stay on and visit. There’s something truly daring and wonderful about knowing you’re surrounded by the sea or lake with foamy waves crashing onto the sandy (rocky) shoreline. 

Aruba

Mackinac Island

Sanibel Island

Captiva

United Kingdom

Ireland

Aran Islands

Saint Martin...

...just to name a few.

So, it was only fitting that our visit to Okaloosa Island began with the four of us walking the ‘snow white’ sandy beach for several hours. We were lined with crashing turquoise waves rimmed with a white, salt spray on our left and buildings so perfectly conforming to a six-story building code limit to our right that, while standing at the end of the Okaloosa Fishing Pier several days later, the buildings looked as if a pastry chef had evened their tops with a cake Icing smoother as she worked her food sculpting magic.

VIEW FROM THE OKALOOSA FISHING PIER
SHOWING THE FLAT TOPPED ROOFS OF CONDO BUILDINGS

All I can remember right now is how wonderful the soft sand felt between the toes and what fun it was to dance with the water as it roiled in onto the shoreline while Elaine and I talked and talked trying to catch-up with and make sense out of life these days. Even though we had lost sight of the one green and one gray shirts worn by our husbands striding in front of us, we surmised they must be doing the same thing.

DANCING WITH THE WATER
ROILING INTO THE SHORELINE

OUR HOSTS: ELAINE & MIKE

DAN & ME

ELAINE IN PROFILE

DAN IN PROFILE

The Florida Panhandle cities of Mexico Beach and Port St. Joe suffered the worst of Hurricane Michael back on October 10, 2018. With catastrophic damage reported due to the extreme winds and storm surge and with multiple deaths, numerous homes were flattened and trees felled over a wide swath of the panhandle. Lives had been changed forever! This includes the lives of our friends and hosts, Mike and Elaine. They had fallen in love with and vacationed on Cape San Blas during the winter/spring of 2018. Mexico Beach and Port St. Joe had become like second homes to them contributing retail outlets and restaurants not offered on Cape San Blas. 

PICTURE OF THE DEVASTATION 
ALONG MEXICO BEACH

SAD BUT A COMMON SIGHT TODAY

DESTROYED HOME FOR SALE;
NEW HOME ADDING LIFE TO A DEVASTATED AREA.

TREES SNAPPED LIKE TWIGS ALL
ALONG THE COASTLINE 

BRICKS SUCKED OFF OF THE
FACADE OF A LOCAL CHURCH

BUILDING ONCE OCCUPIED BY
HAPPY VACATIONERS

Because Mike and Elaine had visited the devastation of these beautiful places earlier on, Dan and I made a day trip there ourselves to document the resilience and passion offered by the residents choosing to, literally, pick-up the pieces and begin life there once again. What we saw, even sixteen months after the storm, was a mixture of deep sadness and emerging hope symbolized by the bright and colorful ‘new builds’ seemingly springing up from the soft sands along the beach. It was an amazing sight to see!

Who doesn’t love a purple elephant....especially when that elephant represents the colorfully proud strength of the people who understand that devastation can be endured because the passionate heart is stronger than any storm....in the long run.

SUNSET WHILE CROSSING OVER THE
DESTIN BRIDGE ON OUR WAY HOME

Somewhere between the beach walks and warm conversations, we visited Pensacola to find the best fresh ‘fruits de mer‘ and were told that Joe Patti’s Seafood was the perfect place to find it! Our friends had been purchasing Joe Patti’s fresh catches since they arrived here several weeks before and wanted to share the experience with us. Since 1931, Joe Patti has been selling seafood wholesale to the public and making a name for himself and his family. 

INSIDE JOE PATTI'S

CHOOSING OUR LIVE LOBSTERS

After selecting four of the plumpest, feistiest live lobsters and having them steamed and cracked, we brought our treasures back home. Mike prepared them for us the next evening and we enjoyed the best lobster fest we’ve had in years! What an unbelievable treat.

MIKE PREPARING OUR FEAST

WICKED GOOD LOBSTER FEST

Palm trees, geckos, and Publix grocery stores were top priorities on my list to see and visit when returning to Florida after all of these months. Alligators, however, not so much. With the azure blue Gulf waters as a backdrop, the agile palm tree sways in the winter sunlight as stealthy geckos of various lengths scramble around the lush vegetation looking for their meal of small insects. I miss their darting around and remember our sweet dog, Brûlée, giving chase and rendering the poor gecko tailless more often than not. 

CRAZY KIDS

SNOW WHITE BEACHES

PALM TREES ALONG THE GULF WATERS

Publix stores, in my opinion, should be the master blueprint for all grocery store chains throughout the country. Yes, they are that amazing, offering superb management, opportunities of advancement for their employees, cleanliness, a wide variety of goods, and an abundance of stores at your fingertips. I used to call them the Walgreens of grocery stores while living in Florida because you could, almost, find one on every major street corner. Walking into one just down the block from the condo was like a breath of fresh air. I thought about bringing back the free cookie from their bakery to my Floridian grands, Brenna and Gavin, a treat they enjoyed with each visit to Publix while living in the Orlando area.

Staying along the Emerald Coast of Florida’s panhandle, we were able to observe the unique jewel toned shades of the Gulf of Mexico that stretches as far as the eye can see. Traffic can be a bit frustrating considering the over 4.5 million people who visit there each year with the city of Destin being the most popular destination. 

Curiously, each time I re-entered the condo unit my eyes were drawn to the purple elephant in the room. With the name ‘Sawyer’ emblazoned in the right-hand corner, it was simple enough to research this local artist and understand his genuine appeal and the reason for his work being prominently displayed by the owners of this particular condo unit. 

DON SAWYER AT WORK ON ONE
OF HIS COLORFUL 'BEACH ART' PIECES

                                        Courtesy of Facebook

Don Sawyer is known for his aptly named 'beach art,' as well as for the Sawyer Art Gallery where he teaches ‘a fun but serious approach to creating artwork’ in Destin. There’s a genuine happiness and creative energy infused within his artwork. His style is injected with pure color making his vibrant artwork popular with locals and tourists alike.

The purple elephant in the room caught my attention; made me a believer of how fun and colorful artwork can imprint the soul with the joy of life and offer innumerable possibilities of happiness and creative energy. Just like the people of Mexico Beach, Port St. Joe, and Cape San Blas, they must decide if they will pull-up stakes and move on elsewhere or be a part of the hardy individuals who will contribute to the growth and rebirth of the coastline and land they love so much.

Dan and I thank you, Mike and Elaine, for an exciting yet thoroughly relaxing week together and for introducing us to the colorful works of Don Sawyer. After all, who doesn’t love a purple elephant?

FOUR HAPPY FACES

Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

Photo Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL DISBELIEVERS AND NAYSAYERS II

A series of essays....

ACKNOWLEDGING THE CIRCLE OF THOUGHT

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

An open letter to all disbelievers and naysayers...

Dear Sir/Madam,

I believe that if we communicate, we will, ultimately, learn how to compromise. If we know how to compromise, we will be able to encourage a settlement of differences by combining the knowledge of both parties involved and make concessions which would grant each party the acknowledgment and recognition that may lead to acceptance. Accepting the fact that we can and are able to work with one another leads everyone to a base of trust, faith, and confidence that can and will open-up all lines of communication.

Accepting this circle of thought should afford everyone the understanding that we are created of equal importance with a fundamental goal of achieving respect for one another.

Having been born with the unique ability to love in the deepest sense, respecting one another should be analogous to loving and respecting oneself in a most pure, simple, and base manner. Consequently, the passing of time with influences such as family, social and religious persuasion, peer pressure, body image, bullying, or sexual orientation can alter the natural progression of loving the person we were born to be. If so, the image we see within ourselves helps to skew the image we have of others and we, in time, will forfeit our ability to reason intelligently thus distorting our original beliefs in a way that is regarded as inaccurate, unfair, or misleading.

Systematically, fear, self-doubt, and diffidence overpowers our innocent ideals and wrongly forces us into the belief that all is lost; life is hopeless. This is when we become the most vulnerable. 

How do we compensate for or correct this imbalance created by outside sources that influence our core values?  This is where the disbelievers and naysayers go wrong; they form their opinions based on theories, the attitudes of others, and negativity instead of going back to their roots where love, respect for others, and hope originated from. Learning, once again, how to communicate with our words filled with positive intentions and purpose, as well as being able to listen to the words of others, comprehend their meaning while moving forward, would be a good beginning. 

Good communicators and good listeners are the advanced teams that guide us towards compromise, acceptance, trust in one another, faith in the future, and the hope that we can all work together to form the alliances needed to realize a bright and prosperous tomorrow! 

In accepting this circle of thought, we are affirming the kindness we hold deep inside of us and we see the same as we look at those around us. My eight-year-old grandson recently asked me, “If we all come from the same place, grandma, aren’t we all related to one another?” Such a  profound nugget of truth from one so young. But then...expressing profound truth in simple language form as formulated by a child’s perspective is exactly how the circle of thought began; innocent and pure.

Respectfully,

Those with the intent on making a difference.

Author's Note: Initially published in July of 2019, I found the content of this post especially appropriate for today, February 27, 2020.  

Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

EVERY UNIFORM COMES WITH ASSOCIATED EXPECTATIONS

A series of essays....

ATHLETIC TEAMS WEAR COORDINATED COLORS

Photo Courtesy of Ali Siskind

 ....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

When I conjure up someone wearing a uniform, it takes me back to my older brother, Ronnie, who was a Cub Scout for several years. Nearly four years older than me, I was in awe of his navy blue uniform trimmed in yellow and a bright yellow sash bedecked with colorful patches bestowed on him due to his own hard work and diligence. When he placed the matching cap on his head before walking with dad to the car to attend a meeting, I felt he was the bravest and most handsome boy I would ever know. 

In eighth grade I knew an older boy who believed he was already a man. Then, one day, he donned a uniform that took him to the exotic land known as Viêtnam where many young men like Joe learned that even men know how to cry. Joe came back home one day to receive his twenty-one gun salute and I cried for the lost innocence of a kind boy who cared so much about others, he was willing to die for us.

RESTAURANTOSAURUS LOCATED IN DISNEY'S
ANIMAL KINGDOM WHERE ALI HAD HER FIRST POSITION

Our oldest daughter secured an internship with Disney during her final semester at Michigan State University and was one of the hundreds of young people who were trained to open the newest theme park called Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World in April of 1998. She became a 'cast member' working in food service and I smile thinking about her crisp, overly animated, pinstriped uniform (costume) that took her anxious minutes to put on before her shift, as well as take off afterwards. She enjoyed her job very much but was very happy to relinquish that uncomfortable uniform when she moved on to her next Disney position.

A uniform might consist of a suit and tie, pencil skirt with coordinating jacket and comfortable heels, that we wear to the office; the uniform of military personnel, police officers, or firefighters who serve to defend and protect us; any particular school’s colors or professionally coordinated colors worn by athletes during combat when attempting to defeat another team; or, happily, the wait staff at our favorite local restaurant. 

In simple terms, a uniform is an identifying outfit or style of dress worn by the members of a given profession, organization, or rank that helps their members to stand out from the crowd so that they can be easily recognizable, as well as distinguish them for the service they do. 

I believe that by wearing a uniform it gives a person a feeling of belonging and inclusiveness while working together on the same team with a common goal in mind. Please remember this thought as you read on.

So, on Wednesday, February 5, 2020, the Senate voted to acquit the 45th president of the United States on charges of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress, ending a historic Senate trial that was centered on his conduct toward Ukraine but that did not include live witnesses or new documents. Like many of us, I calmly sat in a state of numbness and contemplated the future. 

Funny how things randomly travel through our minds and we attempt to decipher and catalog them as best we can. One of my first thoughts was about wearing uniforms. I was thinking to myself that now would be the perfect time for 45 to conjure up his own uniform for the rank and file that are so determined to follow him, carry out his orders, and be jubilant about the demise of democracy and freedom in general. Right?

THE NEW UNIFORM OF WHITE SUPREMACY
ASSEMBLED IN CHARLOTTESVILLE, VIRGINIA 

                              Courtesy Anadolu Agency/Getty Images

The flowing, white robe with pointed hat has been taken; as has the crisp khaki pant and polo shirt combo which debuted in Charlottesville, Virginia recently, accessorized with the lit tiki torch and old standards, the Nazi and Confederate flags. The uniform of white hate is now mundane and the stuff of everyday American life. ‘All gown-up and in Hitler’s (45’s) shadow.’ Yes, it is haunting.

I could neither confirm nor deny the Daily Kos article entitled, ‘The Trump cult’s top lieutenants now have their own uniforms By Aldous J. Pennyfarthing / Daily Kos (02/11/2020).’ I always enjoy reading the articles in the Daily Kos but questioned the validity of this particular author, for obvious reasons. I have discovered this: Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is the pen name of Tom Breuer, blogger and insult comic author, who has published on Amazon four comedy based books about the Trump presidency including a #1 Best Seller, Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump. The amazing things that research will pull-up for you never fail to intrigue me.

REPUBLICAN SENATOR, LINDSEY GRAHAM, WEARING
TRUMP-BRANDED MERCHANDISE ON FOX NEWS

 Courtesy Fox News

So, if you can imagine my amazement upon hearing about this story so soon after correlating 45’s cult relationship with the possibility of his lieutenants wearing uniforms along with the new uprising of white supremacy...it was heart wrenching. Pennyfarthing’s (Breuer's) article for the Daily Kos describes how “Representative Mark Meadows and Senator Lindsey Graham deny the Trump cult talk on Fox & Friends while wearing Trump-branded merchandise that puts money directly into their cult leader’s pocket.” How fitting. 

It was, also, a lesson in laughter for me. After keeping the serious harm being done to this country, and unleashed by 45 on a daily basis, pent-up inside for so long, many of us need a trickle of diversion just to maintain our sanity. I must say that reading about Aldous J. Pennyfarthing worked for me. I don’t smile as often today as I used to. However, Pennyfarthing has helped me to see how humor can be our friend, as well as a great equalizer.

Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

A JOURNAL ENTRY OF A SINGLE PARENT

 A series of essays....

SALVADOR DALI: "DISINTEGRATION OF PERSISTENCE OF MEMORY"
THE ARTIST DESCRIBES HIS THEME AS A KIND OF 'NUCLEAR MYSTICISM'

          Courtesy of Etsy

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

It was his way of washing a potential problem out of his hair. It was his way of dealing with misunderstanding and stress even though he had, certainly, assisted in creating large portions of both. To admit this fact would go against every fiber of his being. In his mind, the problem was created by others and he had just been caught in the middle, that’s all. It was his way of saying, “This is my coping mechanism. It will have to suffice.”

To say that he was managerial material would be a stretch because, in order to be able to manage others, you should be able to manage your own life and deal with what life throws at you. Yes, juggling numerous balls at one time is a part of the game. What I failed to recognize was, as difficult as life had become for the rest of us, he could not handle one more ball.

He was raised, loved, nourished, and protected to the best of my ability. After unexpectedly taking on the role of a single parent, I decided I should not hoist all of the blame onto my own shoulders. That would be a fool’s journey because it’s understood that outside factors and influences affect our lives in many different ways. I know only too well how that game is played; how guilt, frustration, love, and fear enter the picture via the passing of a spouse when children are so young and vulnerable. As they mature, life can become skewed for them and with the addition of negative peer pressure, bullying, and the misunderstanding of their purpose in life, this concoction can be as lethal as a cyanide-laced cocktail.

Does any of this really matter now?

Instantly, life becomes distorted; a living nightmare as surreal as a Dali painting with time slowly melting away as the world disintegrates around us. The screams of our children pierce our ears and chip away at our souls until all we have left is the persistence of memory: haunting our days and strangling our nights with its slippery tentacles of pain, sorrow, and regret.

There is a horrible mystique regarding mental health disorders that brings to mind Stephen King novels and towering, brick psychiatric hospitals. We have our own idea of what mental illness is and, unless we educate ourselves, and all forms of mental health disorders are discussed openly, situations can become turbid as the days, weeks, months, and years pass by. I never intentionally ignored the truth; it was always conveniently tucked away within the deep recesses of my mind. Having to tap into it frightened me as much as the truth itself!

As with every generation, I had all of the answers as a teen: I would learn by the examples around me and decide early on that what happened back then would have to change as I conducted my life in the future and, with any luck, never be repeated again. What transpired long ago rearranged my sense of perspective in such a way that all I had to do was incorporate the opposite actions of the adults in my life regarding how we were raised and infuse a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle for my own children to thrive on, one day. The best was yet to come, or so I believed. 

Life has its way of throwing out curve balls.

It was his way of saying what silly fools we humans are. Oh, how we set ourselves up for failure. When we believe we have failed, a certain 'door of insensibility' creaks open, ever so slightly, but just enough to offer an escape route into oblivion. 

Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved