CHARACTER

A series of essays.....

 

A HOME'S CHARACTER CAN REFLECT THE CHARACTER

OF THOSE WHO RESIDE THERE

.....as seen through my eyes!





By: Jacqueline E. Hughes


It's nearly possible to feel its texture, estimate its weight, and recognize its behavior by simply looking at the written word itself: Character. The sight of it conjures up many different emotions, awakens the imagination and, literally, takes us on the ride of a lifetime.

Character, a single distinct conceptual unit of language, bursting with multitudes of meaning and innuendo, packing a punch and consistently evolving along the way. Developing, changing, and growing daily, our moral strength and integrity is seasoned by the sheer elements that surround us. It can be as illusive as an 'invisible cloak' wrapping us within its deceptive folds, especially in our youth, yet as strong and spiritual as multicolored banners comprised of Tranquility, Peace, and Love blowing softly in the breeze that gently envelopes us.

We are defined by our character. As a young adult, we can be swept up by the competitiveness and influences of modern technology that tug upon our desire to fit in, be popular, and drive us to succeed in this highly aggressive and 'Me' oriented existence. Welcome to the Fame Culture with its theme of 'selfies' and 'reality programming' setting the daily pace. 

We have turned the camera on ourselves as we shift the selfie stick back and forth in an attempt to capture that perfect shot with our own face in the foreground......life, beauty, nature, often lost, in the background. The epitome of a self-centered existence that is charmed by the acknowledgement of others to the point of instant glory due to the over-exposure of our own presence. Warranted?....., most likely, not. A 'Kardashian' influence highlighted by twenty-nine million Instagram views surrounding us in a fleeting aura of false love and envious adoration. 

Time. It takes time. It requires maturity. In time, many of us will acquire the maturity to expose our selfishness and throw down the gauntlet of challenge by turning the camera around until we come face-to-face with the many characters that comprise this astonishing world we live in. 

We are all characters playing out our specific roles as in books, movies, politics, marriages, parenting, while 'treading the boards' of this vast stage called life! Stage left, stage right, downstage as the spotlight defines our features...our souls, for all to behold during this grand performance with the backdrop neatly painted by our own hands. Dipping the brush into a rainbow of lush colors, our performance is enhanced by each stroke upon the canvas and bright stage lights shine on and reflect the joy we feel. Muted shades of gray reduce the intensity of our contentment; subdue and soften while restraining the sound of color and light.

Strategically, others are allowed into our personal world to share and offer their particular perspective and attitude regarding our character. A description of a person's attributes, traits, or abilities flow like molten lava creating a miraculous new landscape from which each co-worker, friend, or neighbor's point of view can formulate and reference our character: Kind, hardworking, capable.....dependable. An employer's dream!

Yet, something inside of us seeks out, even reveres, those of dubious character, umbrageous souls who taunt and disrupt us by offering a life we could only hint at or speculate about before their introduction, possibly, from a book, film, or play. These perfect antagonists allow us to be beautiful or rich, wicked or immoral while gleaning vicarious pleasure from a boxing match of competition and conflict, vigorously cheering on the 'bad guy' while living a mundane existence in the real world. We might marry the trustworthy, kind man, but we secretly admire the dangers surrounding the Bad Boy persona.

Character can be determined by the sugar, spice, and grit that dusts our life with its fine powder coating whether we live on top of a mountain, within a bustling city, or the more laid-back realm of a rural existence. Life is a journey into one's self. What seasonings we choose to use in order to bring zest or interest into our life is strictly up to us. 

Being a kind, loving person can be a major benefit when it comes to strengthening a resourceful, benevolent character.

Love can and should be the greatest foundation or starting point when beginning our long journey. Hopefully, it has been shared and passed down to us by those we are close to and who offer us loving examples to live by. As we travel along the road, building character and stretching our imagination, we should ask ourselves if we have our 'loves' in order. Are we spending our time and energy on our highest love, our values and passion, before the journey into one's self reaches its end?

As time passes, we should learn the importance of humility, sympathy, tranquility, peace, respect, compassion, and Love, above all else......! This is a timeless list that's meant to strengthen our character while placing our lives, our loves, in proper order.

Author's Note: This essay was first published in "Moving On....2016" on January 28, 2016. I believe that today, October 26, 2017, its message is as strong and resolute as when first written, if not more so.   


Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes
All rights reserved

IN APPRECIATION FOR THE RHYTHM OF LIFE

A series of essays.....

DANCE TO THE RHYTHM OF LIFE
NICE, FRANCE, 2016

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

Listen. Close your eyes and listen to the world around you. 

Are you sitting in a public park, walking around in the local mall, having a meal at your favorite restaurant, or reading the morning paper within the familiar confines of your own living room? Where you are truly does not matter! The important thing is that you are listening.

I have always found joy by listening to what is going on around me. And, when I am in my personal environment, I can be so attuned to my surroundings that an unfamiliar sound will catch my attention almost immediately. It's like an experienced mechanic who takes a customer's car for a test-drive and listens intently for inappropriate clanks, rumbles, and squeals over and above any particular complaints by the customer himself.

This morning I awoke to the slightly off-balanced clickety-clack of the ceiling fan above me; its rhythm and timing was exceptionally precise. My fingers tapped out its cadence on the folds of the crisp, white sheet.

Listen. Close your eyes and listen to the rhythm that surrounds you. What do you hear right at this very moment in time? 

The sounds around us create the patterns of regular or irregular pulses; familiar and unfamiliar within our daily routine. I've discussed before the battery powered clock that clicks its rhythmic pulses as I sit here and type each day. If it were to be taken away right now, would I be able to type at all? A familiar routine can empower us; can suck us into believing in its created normalcy, and we are programmed, after a period of time, to expect to function because of its existence. Quite often, we are not even aware of what's happening to us.

Ask a person how their day went after having to skip their daily routine at Starbucks for any reason. You may wonder if their day was compromised because of the timely loss of caffeine or the break in their morning routine. Given time, all of us become, in one form or another, creatures of habit and our 'life rhythm' holds strategic importance to our daily well-being.

PARTAKE IN THE MEAL
CALLED LIFE

When I was quite young, we would never miss the National Geographic Specials on TV, long before it had its own channel on cable television! Based upon the National Geographic Magazine, these Specials took me to places I could only dream about. But, most importantly, introduced to multiple generations, amazing lands, people, customs, and international flavors without us ever having to purchase a ticket to get there. 

I was hooked. My dear Mother knew it and, somehow, knew that subscribing to the magazine was the right thing to do. To this day, I know that the wonder of photography I discovered between those iconic yellow-outlined covers taught me to love the camera and all of its magical powers.

It was the rhythmic clicking sounds of the South African bushman tribes that lingered in my mind and made me want to so desperately visit the Continent of Africa....as I still do to this day! Like the guttural sounds of many French words that are produced in the throat and can sound harsh, the Khoisan African languages, I understood, shared click consonants and the people spoke with such a unique sound that it captured my youthful attention and curiosity.

Having read later as an adult something about the stylohyoid muscle and digastrique muscle contracting, causing the hyoid bone and the connected glottis to raise, and the forward articulation is held, raising air pressure greatly in the mouth so when the oral articulations separate, there is a dramatic burst of air and even the Adam's apple may be seen moving simultaneously. Whew!

All this didn't matter to me back then. I just wanted to listen to the clicks and clacks and watch the rhythmic flow of their colorful robes as they danced to the beat made by their staffs being pounded into the dusty, African soil. The clashing sounds of the beaded necklaces and bracelets they wore added to the glorious symphony of delights that thoroughly engulfed my senses. Such a beautiful experience this was and one I will never forget. Perhaps, one day, I will see it all up close and personal.

Last night, while sitting out on the lanai and thinking of our future move back to Michigan, I wondered about missing the familiar sound of planes coming in to land or take off from the Orlando International Airport. For twenty years their sounds have flooded my senses with various levels of rhythmic intensity. There is pure joy in watching a Virgin jumbo jet float among the clouds as it makes its approach into OIA! 

Dan and I are cultivating new rhythms associated with our lives these days in accordance with a  new lifestyle slated for less than a year from now. Until retirement is firmly set behind us, I approach our life in Michigan as seasonal rather than daily. That time will come soon enough.

SIT BACK AND JUST LISTEN

For now, it is the crisp, swirling leaves that dance dervish-like in our back yard on a windy autumn's day; the soothing crackle of a roaring fire contained within the stone fireplace one frosty winter's evening; the tingle of warmth you feel inside your heart when seeing good friends walking through a spring drizzle coming to say hello and welcome you back; and, the sounds of a summer's evening complete with the neighbor's melodic violin notes wafting like precious animated jewels out of his second story window.

I invite you to listen; check all of the senses while you observe the world around you. Delight in the beauty of the rolling hills of an Irish countryside bathed in its many shades of green. Speak to the locals of a small French village in their own language, whenever you can. Walk around the narrow streets of Paris in the evening and listen to the families having dinner; recognize their polite talk and the gentle clash of silver cutlery being rested on hand painted plates. Stroll through an open market and take in all of the aromas the local cuisine has to offer. And, feel the warmth of your lover's skin while you walk hand-in-hand along the beach as the water engulfs your feet and you sink deeper into the warm, wet sand with each step you take. 

Listen to nature's music playing all around you! Clap your hands and tap your feet as the rhythm sinks into your very core.

You get to decide which beats you wish to follow in your lifetime. But, with a stage as grand and glorious as the world we live in, it may be difficult to keep the field narrow. Wherever you go and whatever you do, always remember to take a moment to sit back, relax and appreciate the rhythm of the life going on around you.

Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

Copyright © All Photos 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW: A REUNION IN COLLIOURE, FRANCE

A series of essays.....

OUR FIRST VIEW OF COLLIOURE LOOKING
DOWN FROM THE D914

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

In keeping with a promise I made to myself to honor any respite I may find within this crazy, messed-up time we live in, I am happy to announce that this is one of those little breaks I cherish....for sanity's sake, if nothing else.

The other day I was flipping through the hundreds of photos I have so conveniently tucked-away in my i-Pad and was looking for the perfect photo to send to a Facebook friend to help celebrate her birthday. With all of the photos I have and righteously refuse to remove, this act can take up quite a bit of my time. Well, of course, many photos require a second or third perusal, and that takes up even more time!

Concentrating on our latest visit to the South of France in September of 2016, it shocked me to think it was just over a year ago that we met up with old friends there and were introduced to so many new ones. I marvel at the thought that most tourists focus on a particular well known landmark or certain landscapes to take home in pictures and memories. Dan and I seem to emphasize the local people we meet and speak with. The joy we extract from that personal experience via shared ideas and thoughts remains in our hearts forever.

COLLIOURE BY THE SEA

Mais oui. Bien sûr! We do take hundreds of pictures from our various trips throughout the years and I can't imagine not having iCloud to share to and store them in! Apple, you are my friend.

This all leads me to that moment when I reconvened my love affair with Collioure, France, via photos from a year ago.

Dan and I were meeting our friend David in Collioure which turned out to be a convenient place for all of us. We were traveling down through the Pyrenees after having spent three amazing days in the village of Pieusse on the Aude River and David was coming up from his permanent home in Barcelona, Spain. Sadly, we had only around sixteen hours time to reconnect, as well as explore this beautiful coastal resort town. 

We took full advantage of our time by talking, eating, drinking excellent wine, and laughing together until we had tears in our eyes. So much fun! All too soon it was time to catch some sleep before having breakfast and leave on our separate ways. Ironically, and most likely due to our time constraints, my photos did not capture many of the locals because I was so enamored with the beauty of this resort town nestling along the Mediterranean Sea.

I invite you to scroll down and see exactly what I mean...

DAVID IN FRONT
OF OUR HOTEL

DAVID AND ME

We met David at a table along the Plage de Collioure where we drank wine and beer and watched the sun setting while we caught up with what was happening in our lives.

There was so much beauty to take in.....! Collioure is located only a few kilometers from the Spanish border. So close yet so far; we just did not have the opportunity to venture into Spain this time around.

The Chateau Royal de Collioure

THE LOCAL WINES
ARE AMAZING!

OOPS!

    Talking, drinking, indulging in spectacular views with good friends....

    That's what life is all about!

PHARE DE COLLIOURE

Walking around the periphery of the town at dusk was such a magical, colorful experience.

EGLISE NOTRE DAME DES ANGES

 

THE PERFECT STEAK

SWEETS FOR EVERYONE!

The best hamburger 

and fries (frites).

Dinner at a small, outdoor cafe right off of the beach.

Our hotel room was cozy, adequate and only a few steps from the beach in Collioure. La Bona Casa. Perfect! 

After a delicious breakfast of croissants, eggs and bacon, and strong, black coffee....we decided to walk around the harbor.

Even though our morning was overcast, the beauty of Collioure could never be dampened by a few dark clouds. It was enjoyable to walk along with David and Dan and discover, together, all of the small staircases, narrow walkways, and color...so much vibrancy of color, shadows, and contrasts.

A VIEW FROM OUR ROOM

HAD TO GET A
SCOOTER IN SOMEWHERE!

With all of this beauty surrounding us, we became a bit morose knowing that our sixteen hour visit was coming to an end. David was driving back down to Barcelona and we were driving all the way over to Nice along the coastline, as much as possible. That was an extremely long drive. We'd be spending the night in Nice and flying back to the States the next morning.

We were extremely thankful for even this limited amount of time with our dear friend. We promised David that we would return as soon as possible and meet him in Barcelona. What a grand reunion and tour that will be! We promise to make it happen.... 

AU REVOIR COLLIOURE....
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!
~BISOUS~

Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

Copyright © All Photos 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

THE ART OF COMMUNICATION: SEDUCTIVE AND IMPERATIVE

A series of essays.....

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

Be not afraid, but understand it takes inordinate amounts of courage, common sense, and humanity in order to survive peacefully in today's world. Two days ago, these three attributes might have been, essentially, enough. In the aftermath of the Las Vegas massacre, I am obliged to add communication to this list.

Let's be totally honest with ourselves here. We could add understanding, kindness, giving and forgiving, intelligence, and many, many more traits to the list and still be able to come up with more. However, courage, common sense, humanity (benevolence), and communication will breed all of the above and still cover the base requirements for a positive life while representing the core values that should be taught to all of us beginning at birth!

Sadly......, they are not.

Sunday afternoon I was exercising my right to communicate while enjoying life, asking questions, learning things I'd only assumed to have known before, and, once again, listening, listening, and listening some more to what someone else had to say. I cannot stress enough just how important the art of listening to others is. And, I don't mean listening to someone and then waiting for their final words only to offer them the privilege of listening  to you attempt to 'one-up' their story with one of your own. A pet peeve of mine; let's just say, more like a major annoyance!

But, you are right. Communication consists of two or more individuals being able to open-up to one another verbally, by crafting the written word, through the art of debate, the utilization of sign language, or through the use of the application of the arts in the form of painting, sculpture, theatre, and so on, via discussion and purpose. Oh, what a beautiful form of communication the arts can be! May I suggest allowing the arts to broaden the mind, soothe the soul, and enlighten the senses a little each day of your life.

For goodness sake....read a book and go find someone to discuss it with! It can be just that simple.

 "Agree to disagree" is a phrase that has reached new heights in our daily discussions and refers to the resolution of a conflict (usually a debate or quarrel) whereby all parties tolerate but do not accept the opposing position(s). It generally occurs when all sides recognize that further conflict would be unnecessary, ineffective, or otherwise undesirable. They may also remain on amicable terms while continuing to disagree about the unresolved issues.

Yes...., in an innocent, more naive acceptance of the world, you might be able to get away with agreeing to disagree for awhile.

Our world is far from perfect or innocent and is exceedingly difficult to navigate. By merely agreeing to disagree will not solve what is wrong here. We need to come up with mutual solutions to some very major problems that confront all of us with gun control being high on our priority list. If Sunday night on the Las Vegas Strip doesn't convince you of this, we have so much communicating ahead of us and, we better be in it for the long haul, too!

But, what if we didn't try? What if we only disagreed with everyone else? We would have a pétri dish filled with incubating negativity and hate to deal with. What if we made it a point to only agree with others, forgetting about ourselves and our personal point of view? Then the world would be a very boring, backwards place to live in, my friend.

Initially, my story today was conceived with the 'art of interviewing' in mind. As most writers understand, there is a clear, concise recipe for being able to pose questions to others in such a manner that you receive full, expressive, and interesting answers in return. Especially if the interviewee holds any reservations, whatsoever, with regards to sharing his or her thoughts. 

Interviewing someone can be a most seductive form of communication. Your words must be soothing and your questions should be able to entice someone into a desired action or state thus extrapolating as much from the conversation and, ultimately, inferring something that might be completely unknown from something that is known in advance. If done seductively with an abundance of charm and a manner that is pleasing or flattering to the heart and ego, you end up with a remarkable amount of material to work with. And, the interviewee is left in a happy, comfortable place after the fact.

Often, when interviewing someone you must have skin as tough as an elephant's and a demeanor that's as gentle as a Mother's loving smile. You must always be aware that it is your job to be real; your job to be inquisitive; your job to be likable and authentic. But, most importantly, and I will say this once again, it is your job to be a good listener!

I will never look at the act of interviewing others as sexist; changing the questions explicitly because someone is a male or female, or even playing to that fact, is wrong. If you maintain the requirements I've listed above at all times, it will not matter anyway. Reaching and maintaining a 'comfort zone' around yourself and the people you are interviewing will usually determine how open and honest the conversation will be.

After I began to write this story, I realized I was picking-up on a much broader scope of our human presence in this world and decided to expand on my thoughts because, you see, Las Vegas happened on Sunday night....

When major tragedies transpire such as mass killings of innocent people, we the survivors become more energized; more opinionated. We, quite simply, cannot help it. Emotions are running at breakneck speed and the emphasis is concentrated on solving the problem by any means possible. But, in order to solve it, one must denote what has created the problem in the first place.

If we are to emerge victorious in finding solutions to the problem of gun control in this country, it becomes imperative that we talk about the problem, day and night if that's what it takes, as we employ common sense along the way. Step one is looking at these assault rifles, bigger magazines, the amount of ammunition you can purchase, and understand that common sense tells you that the higher the difficulty one may have in obtaining this kind of weaponry, the odds of eradicating mass murder may be far greater. Maybe this could be a proper starting point of conversation. 

But, hold on one minute. I hear what you're saying. We've tried all of this before, right? 

The parents of the Sandy Hook students vowed, along with President Obama, to place limitations on assault weapons, employ universal background checks, and mental health checks, but to no avail. Unfortunately, even after the deaths this past Sunday, politicians are evading this debate by simply saying....it's too soon ("premature") after this tragedy to talk. We're not giving birth here, Mitch McConnell. Unless it is the birth of long, lost 'gun control' conversation, delays in talks and changing the current laws should happen sooner rather than later.

What on God's green earth does it take to place politics, payoffs, major favors implied or otherwise, aside and see that life should always take precedence over materialistic greed? Obviously, not even mass murder will do the trick!
  

Avoiding talking about this problem until later is only a means of hoping that it will be pushed aside and placed on the back burner for as long as possible. Such is human nature. That is exactly why we cannot afford to waste precious time.

Just like the 1950's Mom used to say, "Wait until your Dad gets home. He'll give you the biggest spanking ever!" As the saying goes, "We've come a long way, baby!" If the wayward child is not reprimanded and the altercation between Mother and child not addressed immediately, the power of communication is spent by the time Dad gets home. Besides, Dad wasn't there to witness the wrongdoing in the first place. I never thought that was fair for anyone involved, anyway.

It is IMPERATIVE that we address gun control immediately, before the memorials for God's newest angels are completed, before the power of communication is spent, and before this political diversion is set in motion. Believe me, the families of the victims of Las Vegas will soon decide to take part in them and understand that 'momentum lost' is equal to 'opportunity lost.'

We must do everything we can to openly discuss all loss of life in this country via gun violence. Let's quickly return to discussions about intense 'background checks' and mental health regulations, reinstating and strengthening the federal Assault Weapons Ban of 1994, exposing all elected officials who have ever secured personal funds from the NRA (National Rifle Association). There are always good reasons not to back a sound, 'common sense' cause that would only help protect our citizens from unnecessary harm: Big money! 

Money will continue to be as sweetly seductive and often more powerful than even the memory of the face of a beautiful young child taken from us through a senseless act of gun violence.....!

Take part in community discussions about gun control. Open up your own discussion with family and friends. Keep the sacrifice of the many victims of gun violence alive and purposeful; they died for a reason. Contact your Congressperson and Senators and discuss your opinions about gun control. Participate in marches, sign petitions, and cooperate in any way you possibly can in order to stop this senseless killing. 

This time....we cannot afford to 'Agree to Disagree.' We must take a stand. I pray we continue to move forward and not delay this process. Circumstances are calling for a change today.

Love....

Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved