THE ART OF COMMUNICATION: SEDUCTIVE AND IMPERATIVE

A series of essays.....

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

Be not afraid, but understand it takes inordinate amounts of courage, common sense, and humanity in order to survive peacefully in today's world. Two days ago, these three attributes might have been, essentially, enough. In the aftermath of the Las Vegas massacre, I am obliged to add communication to this list.

Let's be totally honest with ourselves here. We could add understanding, kindness, giving and forgiving, intelligence, and many, many more traits to the list and still be able to come up with more. However, courage, common sense, humanity (benevolence), and communication will breed all of the above and still cover the base requirements for a positive life while representing the core values that should be taught to all of us beginning at birth!

Sadly......, they are not.

Sunday afternoon I was exercising my right to communicate while enjoying life, asking questions, learning things I'd only assumed to have known before, and, once again, listening, listening, and listening some more to what someone else had to say. I cannot stress enough just how important the art of listening to others is. And, I don't mean listening to someone and then waiting for their final words only to offer them the privilege of listening  to you attempt to 'one-up' their story with one of your own. A pet peeve of mine; let's just say, more like a major annoyance!

But, you are right. Communication consists of two or more individuals being able to open-up to one another verbally, by crafting the written word, through the art of debate, the utilization of sign language, or through the use of the application of the arts in the form of painting, sculpture, theatre, and so on, via discussion and purpose. Oh, what a beautiful form of communication the arts can be! May I suggest allowing the arts to broaden the mind, soothe the soul, and enlighten the senses a little each day of your life.

For goodness sake....read a book and go find someone to discuss it with! It can be just that simple.

 "Agree to disagree" is a phrase that has reached new heights in our daily discussions and refers to the resolution of a conflict (usually a debate or quarrel) whereby all parties tolerate but do not accept the opposing position(s). It generally occurs when all sides recognize that further conflict would be unnecessary, ineffective, or otherwise undesirable. They may also remain on amicable terms while continuing to disagree about the unresolved issues.

Yes...., in an innocent, more naive acceptance of the world, you might be able to get away with agreeing to disagree for awhile.

Our world is far from perfect or innocent and is exceedingly difficult to navigate. By merely agreeing to disagree will not solve what is wrong here. We need to come up with mutual solutions to some very major problems that confront all of us with gun control being high on our priority list. If Sunday night on the Las Vegas Strip doesn't convince you of this, we have so much communicating ahead of us and, we better be in it for the long haul, too!

But, what if we didn't try? What if we only disagreed with everyone else? We would have a pétri dish filled with incubating negativity and hate to deal with. What if we made it a point to only agree with others, forgetting about ourselves and our personal point of view? Then the world would be a very boring, backwards place to live in, my friend.

Initially, my story today was conceived with the 'art of interviewing' in mind. As most writers understand, there is a clear, concise recipe for being able to pose questions to others in such a manner that you receive full, expressive, and interesting answers in return. Especially if the interviewee holds any reservations, whatsoever, with regards to sharing his or her thoughts. 

Interviewing someone can be a most seductive form of communication. Your words must be soothing and your questions should be able to entice someone into a desired action or state thus extrapolating as much from the conversation and, ultimately, inferring something that might be completely unknown from something that is known in advance. If done seductively with an abundance of charm and a manner that is pleasing or flattering to the heart and ego, you end up with a remarkable amount of material to work with. And, the interviewee is left in a happy, comfortable place after the fact.

Often, when interviewing someone you must have skin as tough as an elephant's and a demeanor that's as gentle as a Mother's loving smile. You must always be aware that it is your job to be real; your job to be inquisitive; your job to be likable and authentic. But, most importantly, and I will say this once again, it is your job to be a good listener!

I will never look at the act of interviewing others as sexist; changing the questions explicitly because someone is a male or female, or even playing to that fact, is wrong. If you maintain the requirements I've listed above at all times, it will not matter anyway. Reaching and maintaining a 'comfort zone' around yourself and the people you are interviewing will usually determine how open and honest the conversation will be.

After I began to write this story, I realized I was picking-up on a much broader scope of our human presence in this world and decided to expand on my thoughts because, you see, Las Vegas happened on Sunday night....

When major tragedies transpire such as mass killings of innocent people, we the survivors become more energized; more opinionated. We, quite simply, cannot help it. Emotions are running at breakneck speed and the emphasis is concentrated on solving the problem by any means possible. But, in order to solve it, one must denote what has created the problem in the first place.

If we are to emerge victorious in finding solutions to the problem of gun control in this country, it becomes imperative that we talk about the problem, day and night if that's what it takes, as we employ common sense along the way. Step one is looking at these assault rifles, bigger magazines, the amount of ammunition you can purchase, and understand that common sense tells you that the higher the difficulty one may have in obtaining this kind of weaponry, the odds of eradicating mass murder may be far greater. Maybe this could be a proper starting point of conversation. 

But, hold on one minute. I hear what you're saying. We've tried all of this before, right? 

The parents of the Sandy Hook students vowed, along with President Obama, to place limitations on assault weapons, employ universal background checks, and mental health checks, but to no avail. Unfortunately, even after the deaths this past Sunday, politicians are evading this debate by simply saying....it's too soon ("premature") after this tragedy to talk. We're not giving birth here, Mitch McConnell. Unless it is the birth of long, lost 'gun control' conversation, delays in talks and changing the current laws should happen sooner rather than later.

What on God's green earth does it take to place politics, payoffs, major favors implied or otherwise, aside and see that life should always take precedence over materialistic greed? Obviously, not even mass murder will do the trick!
  

Avoiding talking about this problem until later is only a means of hoping that it will be pushed aside and placed on the back burner for as long as possible. Such is human nature. That is exactly why we cannot afford to waste precious time.

Just like the 1950's Mom used to say, "Wait until your Dad gets home. He'll give you the biggest spanking ever!" As the saying goes, "We've come a long way, baby!" If the wayward child is not reprimanded and the altercation between Mother and child not addressed immediately, the power of communication is spent by the time Dad gets home. Besides, Dad wasn't there to witness the wrongdoing in the first place. I never thought that was fair for anyone involved, anyway.

It is IMPERATIVE that we address gun control immediately, before the memorials for God's newest angels are completed, before the power of communication is spent, and before this political diversion is set in motion. Believe me, the families of the victims of Las Vegas will soon decide to take part in them and understand that 'momentum lost' is equal to 'opportunity lost.'

We must do everything we can to openly discuss all loss of life in this country via gun violence. Let's quickly return to discussions about intense 'background checks' and mental health regulations, reinstating and strengthening the federal Assault Weapons Ban of 1994, exposing all elected officials who have ever secured personal funds from the NRA (National Rifle Association). There are always good reasons not to back a sound, 'common sense' cause that would only help protect our citizens from unnecessary harm: Big money! 

Money will continue to be as sweetly seductive and often more powerful than even the memory of the face of a beautiful young child taken from us through a senseless act of gun violence.....!

Take part in community discussions about gun control. Open up your own discussion with family and friends. Keep the sacrifice of the many victims of gun violence alive and purposeful; they died for a reason. Contact your Congressperson and Senators and discuss your opinions about gun control. Participate in marches, sign petitions, and cooperate in any way you possibly can in order to stop this senseless killing. 

This time....we cannot afford to 'Agree to Disagree.' We must take a stand. I pray we continue to move forward and not delay this process. Circumstances are calling for a change today.

Love....

Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved