AGE IS ONLY A THREE LETTER WORD

 

A series of essays….

WEDDING DAY 1973

BEGINNING YET ANOTHER CHAPTER

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

As I sit here on the threshold of resuming international travel — after our last retirement visit to Scotland and Ireland five years before, as well as several years of coping with a pandemic (which still haunts all of us to this day!), I find myself totally exhausted. Surprisingly, not so much physically, rather mentally with all of life’s imbalances thrown willy-nilly about the place; a whirlwind of happenings resembling fallen leaves swirling out of control on a windy autumn’s day.

Normally I don’t tend to dwell on the negatives in life (well, excluding drumpf, of course). Reading a good book, taking walks in the woods and enjoying the nature that surrounds me, and being in the company of my grandchildren can be enough to make life sweet and simple. I try to avoid the things that used to stress me before and eliminate the cause of mental and emotional strain. Always easier said than done. We humans acquire a lot of baggage as we age…

In an attempt to ‘bend the mind’ into believing that age is only a three letter word, nothing to worry about, it can’t harm me, I see how much longer it takes to accomplish tasks compared to years ago. How my left knee requires an occasional Advil or two along with a healthy spray of Biofreeze in order to function with less pain. Watching my thinning hair become more and more lackluster. Understanding that the word crêpe can describe more than a deliciously filled French pancake.

Yes, getting older comes with its physical changes and challenges. However, it’s the mental attitude toward life’s inevitable ebb & flow of reality as we age that has me thinking about the structure of my life, lately.

The sad and untimely passing of my sister-in-law’s sister, Mary, recently, at the very young age of sixty-two, has re-opened a wound that I’ve been living with for many years when my own Mother passed, quite unexpectedly, at sixty-two years of age. Leaving young grandchildren to wonder why grandma wasn’t there to play and bake cookies with them, snuggle with them when they were tired, and warm their hearts with her pure joy and love of life, family, and friends.

It had taken at least a decade after her passing to realize that I couldn’t just call Mom whenever I had questions about anything and knowing that she would have the answer to each one. Your Mother can be the lifeline to your past, your ancestry connection, your fill-in-the-blank go-to-person, your support system, and an integral part of making your life function normally while remaining true to yourself. Since we lived an hour and a half from one another, I miss our frequent and enjoyable phone conversations, as well as the ability to ask her about something as simple as a favorite Ukrainian recipe. Love.

Going back to the imbalances in my life of late… Do you know how you can wake-up and feel that something is off, not following a normal pattern? Or, the milk tastes a little off even though the expiration date is still more than a week away? It all began back on the the Fourth of July after falling backwards down two cement steps in my daughters’s mud room…

…right on my tailbone, scraping my left elbow, and banging the back of my head on the wall before coming to a twisted mass, while staring somberly at the mud room floor.  Before moving, I quickly assessed the damage and reasoned that I could move. I would get up if my brain could be convinced to allow me to do so. 

BREE AND OREO SHARING A TOY IN RELATIVE PEACE AND QUIET…

Naturally, I was all alone. Well, if you consider having Oreo, their dog, inside the house and our dog, Bree, constrained in the back seat of my car parked in the driveway as reputable help in my situation, I was pretty much on my own. Everyone had gone up north to celebrate the holiday and I opted to doggy sit instead. It was time to move. I had two beautiful creatures to take care of.

With the help of a warm, invisible hug and the strong arm of my guardian angel, I stood upright, a bit sore, with the realization that my tailbone would haunt me with pain for a very long time.

Last week I banged my shin on a brick fireplace hearth at a friend’s house that coincided with an existing gash of a few days before that hadn’t had time to heal. I spent the following hour or so feeling the warmth of blood trickle down my leg before being absorbed by my cotton pant leg all while discussing the amazing book written by TJ Klune entitled The House in the Cerulean Sea! What an interesting bookclub gathering that was!

For some reason, preparing to pack our luggage for our upcoming trip to Wales and parts of England has me more stressed than usual. Five years is a long time between international travel and things do and have changed in that amount of time. Perhaps it’s knowing that I should wear a mask during the long flight that has me concerned. The mask will be worn, but I won’t be, physically, happy about it. It is enough to comprehend that COVID-19, or a strain thereof, will be around for as long as we humans exist and, all of us must come to terms with this fact.   

I must look to the bright side and be thankful for the opportunity to travel once again; a passion of mine for so many years. I will forego worrying about the small stuff (By the way, my tailbone has healed nicely), and make the time to set the world straight again; feel happy with my surroundings and make the most out of the life I’ve been blessed with.

Dan and I, while celebrating fifty years of marriage together, will enjoy twelve days of constant movement, being a part of life’s flow, walking down quiet country lanes with astounding views, making new friends, participating in the living history surrounding us, and understanding, with joy in or hearts, how fortunate we both are. That tiny, three letter word (age) will be but a speck lodged way back in my mind. Wow! This is going to be an amazing experience! I can hardly wait to come back to write and tell you all about it.

MOVING ON….2013 TO 2023

Copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

PURPOSEFULNESS & SELF-ALIGNMENT HELP US DISCOVER SIMPLICITY

 

A series of essays….

THE LIGHT YOU BRING INTO THIS WORLD IS
BEAUTIFUL, IRREPLACEABLE, AND NEEDED.    —- TWLOHA

\

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

I know… I know… This is a mouthful of words. Actually, the term self-alignment has been part of our spiritual vernacular for many years and can be identified with mindfulness, or the state of living in the moment. Living a purposeful life, recognizing our goals and the path to achieve them, brings us full circle. For me, this is where simplicity and living a simple life comes in and helps to round out the picture…keeping us humble and in control. 

Here’s to making Self-Alignment, Purposefulness, and Mindfulness the keys to unlocking our best life possible.

Purposefulness & Self Alignment

My father was proud of the vehicles he chose to drive and call his own. He would trade-in his Chevrolets every two years throughout the 1950’s even though it always looked as though they just rolled off the new car lot with a spit shine and a snappy tune playing on the radio. Cars were definitely his thing; we all knew this. No eating in the car unless I say so. Keep your feet down and where they belong. Don’t touch or smudge the windows. And yet, it didn’t bother us all that much because we knew exactly what was expected of us, I suppose.

He had a mental schedule designed to keep his car maintained and running well and rarely did his schedule deviate, for as long as I can remember: oil change, check all fluids, tune-up, rotate tires that was followed by a wheel alignment which consisted of adjusting the angle of the tires to the car manufacturer specifications. The purpose was to reduce tire wear and to ensure that vehicle travel was straight and true.

Truth be told, my older brother and I were proud to sit in dad’s cars. His vehicle was the shiny penny among all of the others on the road. Taking pride in something can be a wonderful thing and should pay-off in the end. It can show that you have a purpose and a reason to care about something and/or someone and help them to provide such profound joy in life. I hope dad found great joy in life by simply loving his vehicles…

So, I’m thinking that if objects require proper alignment in order to run straight and true, how would this concept apply to us and our own mental and emotional status? Are we ‘off the rails,’ so to speak, when our lives are ‘out of alignment’ and the world is slamming curve balls at us at 90 mph? 

While looking up the word alignment in reference to cars, I was reintroduced to the prospect of becoming self-aligned, something I had dabbled in many years ago when a self-help group of friends met weekly to discover how to meditate, balance our chakras and lifestyles, and become more aware of the world around us. I was encouraged back then; I am even more encouraged about self-alignment, today.

In researching the term self-alignment, I’ve become more aware of the thoughtfulness and encouragement behind its basic concept. I understand how we could create a better world when each person is in alignment with their genuineness or authenticity, knows their purpose, and is able to inspire and create their dreams. It is imperative that we acquire the awareness, wisdom, and will to solve the problems we face so that we can build a better life, a better world. If we’re not aware of these problems in the first place, how can we change or begin to solve them?

We are all creatures of habit and as time goes by we cling to what makes us feel most comfortable. When life throws us curve balls, will we be prepared and able to cope with them long enough to allow hope to settle in and move us forward? Whether it’s our children leaving the nest to pursue their own future, a spouse passing and leaving a silence behind that is deafening, or experiencing great loss due to an unexpected disaster, how we react to a problem will make all the difference when moving forward.

Self-alignment can help prepare us for the unexpected because we are mindful of our own strengths and are better prepared to push fear aside when we need to the most. In turn, we become more aware of the world around us making it easier to help others in need while focusing on the true purpose of our own existence. 

If someone said that they could offer you a key that would open a door that may have been holding you back from achieving your full potential — would you take it? When you open the door, light pours in from all directions connecting you with greater energy, more clarity, and the awakening of unrealized talents and abilities. Have you felt you were being held back (unfulfilled) by not holding the key to self-alignment and purposefulness within your higher self in order to ensure that your travels through this life are straight and true? May the light you bring into this world fill you up with an abundance of joy and love!

Simplicity

If we’ve used our ‘key,’ wisely, to open the door, the detritus left behind by our past life will be scattered by the wind of enlightenment. Our potential will be unleashed. Fear will be diminished if not depleted and life will become less cluttered and living a simple life will abound, rounding out the picture…keeping us humble and in full control of whatever comes our way. Close your eyes and breathe in, deeply. Let your breath out, slowly, slowly.. Now, proceed.

A simple lifestyle can become the key to unlocking our best life possible.

In his own way, my dad was seeking a life filled with less clutter and brimming  with the pride and joy brought about by a job well done. Even his children learned quickly the parameters of his system and, ultimately, claimed for themselves the pride he felt in faithfully maintaining a prized possession. 

Life was fairly simple back then. I was happy to welcome the summer sunshine into my playtime hours and wash all of the day’s dust off afterward in my nightly Mr. Bubble bath. Helping my mother make simple sandwiches to be packed in a wicker basket makes me smile. Hopping into the car as dad headed into the countryside on a late Saturday morning to find a roadside picnic table for us to sit at and enjoy our sandwiches together was always a simple pleasure. Life was good and wholesome. 

Today, we can find joy in appreciating a simple life by casting away past tribulations and enjoying sitting in a colorful garden, a good book in hand, a cool drink in the other, and savoring the warmth of a sunny afternoon with gentle breezes caressing our faces. Discovering our blissful life is possible. Maintaining our path of self-alignment as we take on life’s responsibilities is more important now than ever before.

MOVING ON…..2013-2023

Copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

SMALL SLICES OF LIFE, HIDDEN TREASURES

 

A series of essays….

GAVIN AND GRIMIN WAITING IN THE LOBBY OF THE 
AMWAY GRAND PLAZA HOTEL TO BE SEATED FOR DINNER

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Many of us still enjoy the tasty pleasure of eating a well cut, brilliantly cooked, sizzlingly presented steak. I do. Apologies to my dear vegan and plant based friends. I don’t indulge on a regular basis, but when I do it should meet most of the requirements stated above because it is a special treat for me and fully intended as such.

When we found out that our twelve-year-old grandson, Gavin, was feeling a little bummed by missing a trip to Disney World in May (even though he would not admit it because he’s just so darn sweet and kind), Dan and I decided to ‘cook up’ something totally special just for him. Well, for us, too, but to share it all with Gavin and have him be the center of attention. 

Call it a phase (I can recall many of my own while growing up), but he is so into having steak right now and, if truth be told, could enjoy having it every single day! He’s very picky about his choice of protein which means that mealtime selections can be interesting, as well as the exact preparation of the beef, chicken, turkey, along with his sides. His Mom often finds herself preparing something a little different for him which makes dinner prep more challenging for her. 

I have heard of this kind of eating behavior before having much to do with the texture of various foods and how individuals react to them. If children are hypersensitive to tactile input, they will be less willing to get messy, can be particular about clothing, and could be picky eaters with a strong preference for food of a specific texture only. Hopefully, this too may just be a phase that will change for him, given time.

GAVIN AND PAPA ENJOYING THE POOL

Securing parental permission first, Dan and I decided that a bit of good food and overall pampering in general was in order and made reservations for three at Ruth’s Chris Steak House in Grand Rapids. With an overnight stay at the Amway Grand Plaza Hotel a must, we coupled it with a ballgame the next day at the LMCU Ballpark, home of the West Michigan Whitecaps, a High-A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers. The three of us were a little pumped for over a month waiting for our mini-excursion in Grand Rapids to begin!

After a long swim in the pool with Papa, the appetite for the upcoming evening meal was enormous. A quick shower and change of clothes for them and we found ourselves being seated promptly at seven for dinner. Our adorable waitress, Jen, asked if we’d eaten there before and quickly discovered that this was a first for Gavin and that he was very excited by the prospect. Well, he swiftly became a pampered young prince for the duration of our meal, getting to select his own steak knife (He chose well: a Laguiole Light Horn Steak Knife made in France with the signature bee motif) and constantly being attended to.

GAVIN IS IN ANTICIPATION MODE

PRESENTATION OF HIS PETIT FILET

YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT, GAVIN!

ONE VERY HAPPY YOUNG MAN

Having selected the petit cut filet, cooked medium well, for his meal, Gavin slid into anticipation mode, turning a bit glassy eyed while inhaling the sizzling butter aroma of each and every steak that the staff carried loftily by our table. Dan and I were right there with him. We were told that the steak selections came out on very hot plates ranging up to 500 degrees in order to maintain their sizzle and temperature for a long time. They did not exaggerate. But the accentuated aroma of browned butter and steak perpetuated by the high temperature was indeed music to our ears. We joined him in anticipation mode.

Dinner was, of course, a major success and the salad starter and side of sweet potato casserole made the meal simply devine. After Dan ordered the bread pudding with Bourbon sauce for dessert and Gavin and I declined, spritely Jen brought out a special treat especially for our ‘first timer.’ It consisted of chocolate mousse covered in fresh whipped cream and nestled in an edible chocolate cup with a side of fresh fruit and cream. ‘Congratulations’ handwritten on the plate was his badge of honor and graciously initiated him into the world of delectable but high priced steak with a staff who knew how to make each guest feel like royalty.

GAVIN’S BADGE OF HONOR - A SWEET TREAT

As Dan and I lay in bed listening to Gavin’s satisfied breathing coming from the next bed, we couldn’t help but smile remembering the good-humored banter exchanged throughout the evening and especially before dozing off. If food is love, he was very happy falling into dreamland that night.

Unanimously, it was decided to take a short walk to Panera Bread outside the hotel for breakfast. The morning was warm and sunny; a great day for a baseball game, or so we hoped. I was concerned by the sun and knew we’d packed sunscreen for later. We lost Gavin for a few moments after entering the restaurant when he held back, holding open the tall, heavy doors for a lady going out after picking up her large take-out order. She gave him an enormous smile and a genuine thank you as she slipped by him. Kudos to his parents. They are certainly doing something right.

We had already packed our small bags and left them in the room, so a leisurely walk back to the hotel was in order. Check-out was at eleven with the first pitch of the game slated for one o’clock. 

By the time we got to our designated seats, the sky had turned slate gray and lost any sunshine and pale blue sky we had enjoyed earlier. First pitch — first raindrops. The game went on and everyone sat there through two innings and a tie game of one to one before the distant sound of thunder arrived, forcing us to vacate the seats and move under the slight protection at the top of the stands. 

OH, NOOOO!!

An hour and a half later, with all hope in our hearts of continuing the game lost, the three of us, dejectedly, marched back to our car. They did not call the game for, at least, forty-five minutes after we’d left. But, a little bird had told us earlier (Mom) that Gavin liked playing the indoor games at Dave & Buster’s on 28th Street. As the rain poured in buckets outside, Gavin played to his heart’s content, high and dry, inside. 

HANGING OUT AT DAVE & BUSTER’S

Unfortunately for us, they resumed the ballgame the next day, but we had our own commitments which negated our return to LMCU Ballpark for the finish of the game.

With smiles on our faces, Dan headed back to Kalamazoo. Our beautiful memories of this time with our grandson will live in our hearts, forever. And, we hope, The Little Prince of Ruth’s Chris will tuck back some wonderful memories of his own to pull out and enjoy every now and again. After all — isn’t this what life is all about?

Thank you, Gavin. Papa and Grimin love you!

MOVING ON…..2013-2023

Copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

Photo copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved