AGE IS ONLY A THREE LETTER WORD

 

A series of essays….

WEDDING DAY 1973

BEGINNING YET ANOTHER CHAPTER

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

As I sit here on the threshold of resuming international travel — after our last retirement visit to Scotland and Ireland five years before, as well as several years of coping with a pandemic (which still haunts all of us to this day!), I find myself totally exhausted. Surprisingly, not so much physically, rather mentally with all of life’s imbalances thrown willy-nilly about the place; a whirlwind of happenings resembling fallen leaves swirling out of control on a windy autumn’s day.

Normally I don’t tend to dwell on the negatives in life (well, excluding drumpf, of course). Reading a good book, taking walks in the woods and enjoying the nature that surrounds me, and being in the company of my grandchildren can be enough to make life sweet and simple. I try to avoid the things that used to stress me before and eliminate the cause of mental and emotional strain. Always easier said than done. We humans acquire a lot of baggage as we age…

In an attempt to ‘bend the mind’ into believing that age is only a three letter word, nothing to worry about, it can’t harm me, I see how much longer it takes to accomplish tasks compared to years ago. How my left knee requires an occasional Advil or two along with a healthy spray of Biofreeze in order to function with less pain. Watching my thinning hair become more and more lackluster. Understanding that the word crêpe can describe more than a deliciously filled French pancake.

Yes, getting older comes with its physical changes and challenges. However, it’s the mental attitude toward life’s inevitable ebb & flow of reality as we age that has me thinking about the structure of my life, lately.

The sad and untimely passing of my sister-in-law’s sister, Mary, recently, at the very young age of sixty-two, has re-opened a wound that I’ve been living with for many years when my own Mother passed, quite unexpectedly, at sixty-two years of age. Leaving young grandchildren to wonder why grandma wasn’t there to play and bake cookies with them, snuggle with them when they were tired, and warm their hearts with her pure joy and love of life, family, and friends.

It had taken at least a decade after her passing to realize that I couldn’t just call Mom whenever I had questions about anything and knowing that she would have the answer to each one. Your Mother can be the lifeline to your past, your ancestry connection, your fill-in-the-blank go-to-person, your support system, and an integral part of making your life function normally while remaining true to yourself. Since we lived an hour and a half from one another, I miss our frequent and enjoyable phone conversations, as well as the ability to ask her about something as simple as a favorite Ukrainian recipe. Love.

Going back to the imbalances in my life of late… Do you know how you can wake-up and feel that something is off, not following a normal pattern? Or, the milk tastes a little off even though the expiration date is still more than a week away? It all began back on the the Fourth of July after falling backwards down two cement steps in my daughters’s mud room…

…right on my tailbone, scraping my left elbow, and banging the back of my head on the wall before coming to a twisted mass, while staring somberly at the mud room floor.  Before moving, I quickly assessed the damage and reasoned that I could move. I would get up if my brain could be convinced to allow me to do so. 

BREE AND OREO SHARING A TOY IN RELATIVE PEACE AND QUIET…

Naturally, I was all alone. Well, if you consider having Oreo, their dog, inside the house and our dog, Bree, constrained in the back seat of my car parked in the driveway as reputable help in my situation, I was pretty much on my own. Everyone had gone up north to celebrate the holiday and I opted to doggy sit instead. It was time to move. I had two beautiful creatures to take care of.

With the help of a warm, invisible hug and the strong arm of my guardian angel, I stood upright, a bit sore, with the realization that my tailbone would haunt me with pain for a very long time.

Last week I banged my shin on a brick fireplace hearth at a friend’s house that coincided with an existing gash of a few days before that hadn’t had time to heal. I spent the following hour or so feeling the warmth of blood trickle down my leg before being absorbed by my cotton pant leg all while discussing the amazing book written by TJ Klune entitled The House in the Cerulean Sea! What an interesting bookclub gathering that was!

For some reason, preparing to pack our luggage for our upcoming trip to Wales and parts of England has me more stressed than usual. Five years is a long time between international travel and things do and have changed in that amount of time. Perhaps it’s knowing that I should wear a mask during the long flight that has me concerned. The mask will be worn, but I won’t be, physically, happy about it. It is enough to comprehend that COVID-19, or a strain thereof, will be around for as long as we humans exist and, all of us must come to terms with this fact.   

I must look to the bright side and be thankful for the opportunity to travel once again; a passion of mine for so many years. I will forego worrying about the small stuff (By the way, my tailbone has healed nicely), and make the time to set the world straight again; feel happy with my surroundings and make the most out of the life I’ve been blessed with.

Dan and I, while celebrating fifty years of marriage together, will enjoy twelve days of constant movement, being a part of life’s flow, walking down quiet country lanes with astounding views, making new friends, participating in the living history surrounding us, and understanding, with joy in or hearts, how fortunate we both are. That tiny, three letter word (age) will be but a speck lodged way back in my mind. Wow! This is going to be an amazing experience! I can hardly wait to come back to write and tell you all about it.

MOVING ON….2013 TO 2023

Copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

MIC CHECK: TESTING ONE, TWO, THREE

 

A series of essays….

BRENNA AND BREE BONDING BETWEEN BINGING (NETFLIX)

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

At least twenty episodes of The Gilmore Girls later (thank you Netflix and our weakness towards binge-watching!), countless trips to Portage Northern High School during a whacky exam schedule then immediately off to gymnastics practice only to pick her up several hours later before enjoying dinner together. Spicing it up even more with spontaneous laughter, perhaps a few too many trips to enjoy ice cream, and romps on the living room floor with our fur baby and you have the future of our nation contained within our fifteen-year-old granddaughter—all wrapped-up in a perfect bow with a side of braces…

Not once did we complain. Being around Brenna tends to make a routine day a red letter one with her youthful enthusiasm being as infectious as good humor and optimism can be; especially during these past couple of weeks. 

We have all been working on taking control back in the best way possible. But first, sacrifices had to be made as life’s routines were tumbled around like her tiny clothes (anywhere from size 0-4) in the dryer in order to cope with everything that, unfortunately, comes with the current tone of the world we live in. 

In practice there is little or no difference in meaning between contagious and infectious when applied to disease or its spread—you get to choose the phraseology. Our daughter called us right before the last week of the school year for our grandchildren (Brenna a freshman and Gavin rounding-off fifth grade) to inform us that Gavin just tested positive for COVID-19. He had recently been experiencing headaches and his current temperature was hovering a bit over 102 degrees. He was doing okay with it until he realized that the final week of his fifth grade career began the following day on Monday and being in school with his friends and enjoying closing activities was not going to happen.

Despite the fact that all four had been vaccinated, along with boosters for those eligible, the impact from this pandemic hit them fast and furious, with very little warning. One tested positive with symptoms while the remaining three tested negative. Initially, Brenna panicked just thinking about having to miss her scheduled exams if she were to test positive. Our daughter gave us a call and we all reacted post haste.

Brenna was packed and crashing in our spare bedroom not long afterwards. 

She made it through exam week with flying colors sans any symptoms whatsoever! So grateful for this. FaceTiming with her ‘gang’ at home helped to keep spirits up believing that her return was right around the corner. That was until our daughter began experiencing coughing and a runny nose. Was it simply allergies or a common cold? Most likely not. She tested positive on Sunday and gave us a call early that morning with the sad news. Our little houseguest would have to waylay her homecoming as her mom went into isolation while continuing to work from her home office.

I still cling to the premise that every single soul on this planet will, eventually, contract COVID-19. Having Doctor Anthony Fauci take his turn at the coronavirus karaoke mic, recently, proves my point. Dr. Fauci, the leader of the U.S. government’s COVID-19 pandemic response effort, experienced mild symptoms recently, tested positive, and has gone into isolation while continuing to work from home. There truly is no way of getting around this disease as long as one lives and breathes alongside their fellow humans. It is strictly a matter of time.

Well, today is D-day! Today our daughter and son-in-law take yet another coronavirus test. Today might just be the beginning of the end to all this madness and heartbreak for Ali and her family. I’m thinking negative results all the way. Fingers and toes crossed. Brenna deserves to be back into the fold and sleeping in her own bed. 

As much fun as it is having her around us and, simply, having a teenager injecting  youth and enthusiasm into our lives on a daily basis, Brenna needs home. Brenna needs to cuddle her dog, Oreo, and interact with her own immediate circle. This lends personal credence to the adage: absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Through all of this, Dan and I remain symptom free, virus negative. Although we are setting-up appointments for our second booster shot, as soon as possible. 

I would have never believed that summer vacation would begin on such a deeply concerning note. Dan and I were very content to have been there for our children and little did we know how our decision to move back to Michigan would effect all of us. But, we always knew we would be happy to share our lives together, once again, and be there if and when they needed us to be. 

Here’s hoping for some good news today! 

Copyright © 2022 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

“I AM BECAUSE WE ARE”

 

A series of essays….

THE TORAH: HEBREW IS READ BACKWARDS 
WITHOUT PUNCTUATION OR BREAKS.
READING THE TORAH PUBLICLY IS ONE OF THE
BASES OF JEWISH COMMUNAL LIFE.

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Life has been exceptionally busy lately for our daughter and her family. Our oldest granddaughter has been preparing for her Bat Mitzvah, scheduled for this Saturday, long before her thirteenth birthday. She is now fourteen years old. We’ve all learned the hard way that important milestones don’t come to a complete stop due to Covid-19. They do tend to slide into place, eventually, like a runner attempting to make it to home base for the score. And life goes on as we attempt to make the best of it in order to survive; to come away from this rude intrusion into our lives maintaining our dignity and respect for ourselves and others. We have been learning to adapt and who really knows what positive changes may come about because of it.

Not everyone sees it this way.

We the people have voted a new administration into the White House that has been challenged right from the beginning with saving us from four years of neglect and pain inflicted upon us by very selfish leadership. Certainly this was a burden and challenge not many of us would be able to or would want to place on our own shoulders. 

The Biden administration has felt opposition to their reformative policies (Shots in Arms and Money in Pockets) every step of the way and under the most unusual circumstances. Not many newly elected  political leaders have had to begin office in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, as well as deal with a previous administration that had denied its existence and led the country into chaos and the death of thousands! Perhaps someone you know and love has succumbed to Covid-19 since March of 2020.

Even when scientists proceeded to work through compressed time on their way towards combating the disease or, at least, allowing our immune systems to fight its horrific spread, the previous administration purposely bungled the task of getting the new vaccine out to the American populace. As we now know, they went out of their way to sabotage the forward momentum of securing health and well-being for all and mocked our right to this privilege in doing so. Just as they are now attempting to suppress our legal right to vote. 

And yet—

And yet, this life altering activity and blatant ignorance continues to this day among those (anti-vaxxers) who remain opposed to taking the vaccine. Putting the lives of their own children, as well as ours, at stake is reason enough for many of us to shake our heads in disbelief. That’s as assuming and ludicrous as taking up weapons and the position of storming a government building with intent to do bodily harm to the elected officials of our government whom they knew to be inside; officials observing the duties set-forth by the Constitution of the United States.

This act of insurrection on January 6, 2021, in Washington D.C. continues each day when someone refutes the legitimacy behind becoming inoculated. It really doesn’t matter whether their reasoning stems from drinking the Kool-Aid poured out in generous proportions by an ex-president who continues his hate-based war on our Constitution or their own ignorance of the truth within a common sense format that seems to blind their perception of good vs. evil. There are no winners here. Everyone will pay the price for it, eventually, if we haven’t already. Sadly, there are those who adamantly failed to get the vaccine who are now begging for it while lying in their own sickbed.

OUR TEN-YEAR OLD GRANDSON, GAVIN,
UNDERSTANDS THE IMPORTANCE 
OF WEARING HIS FACE MASK

Even when we believe we’re doing the right thing by wearing a face mask, maintaining social distances, and becoming inoculated — our personal sacrifices continue to rise in volume. Even when we were warned by prominent authorities that not getting the vaccine would negatively affect us all. Even when statistics substantiate what has, is, and will happen in our future if we fail to heed these warnings, as too many of us continue to do, even when the proof exists right before our very eyes! You might ask, “What does it take if death doesn’t persuade them to change their minds?”

A dear friend reposted on FaceBook a true story by a lady named Susan Chamberlain where she explained how an anthropologist was working with the children of an African tribe when he placed a basket of delicious fruits near a tree trunk and told them that the first child to reach the tree will get the basket. To his astonishment, the children held hands and walked together to the tree where they shared the fruit. Why do this he asked. They answered with astonishment in one word — Ubuntu.

AN ENTICING BASKET OF FRUIT

George Clare
(1830 - 1900)
Apples, Plums, Raspberries, and Grapes

Ubuntu translates to, “How can one of us be happy while the rest are miserable?" Ubuntu in their civilization means: I am because we are. Ms. Chamberlain explains that truly this African tribe knows the secret of happiness that has been lost in all societies that transcend them and which consider themselves to be civilized societies!

Ubuntu. I am because we are. It does take a village. In this day and time, it takes an entire society to want to make good change happen; working together for the benefit of and goodwill for all. 

When our sweet granddaughter holds the Torah scroll in her hands and walks among the relatives and friends gathered in the Temple to honor her hard work and wish her joy and peace this coming Saturday, I will be thinking of her sacrifice, as well. The original date of her Bat Mitzvah was back in April of 2020, right before her thirteenth birthday in May. I will be thinking about all of the brides and grooms who postponed their weddings last year. The many children of older adults who could only correspond with their parents with panes of glass between them will come to mind. I will be thinking of all of the graduating students who had to Zoom their smiles out into the world these past two years; all students and teachers who learned to adapt via video communication. 

RABBI GIVING BRENNA INSTRUCTIONS DURING
REHEARSAL FOR HER BAT MITZVAH CELEBRATION

THE ILLUMINATION OF THE TEMPLE
DURING SUNDAY’S REHEARSAL 

Today, I think about all of us who have seen the light at the end of a long, dark tunnel and began to challenge our new adaptations back into some semblance of normalcy. This alone has been a hard task made up of a multitude of difficult decisions! In doing so, we begin to realize that not everyone thinks in terms of ‘how can we be happy if others are miserable?’  Now, we wait to see if all of our efforts sink back into the abyss or flow upwards towards the light of recovery and the acceptance of what a bright, new, more informative world may have in store for us. 

We can all learn from the positive reactions to adversity by our own youth to the simple truths brought about by innocent children of an African tribe whose elders have taught them that their society as a whole will succeed only if each member of their society is happy.  

Ubuntu my friends!

Copyright © 2021 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

 

WHEN WINDMILLS FREEZE OVER!

 

A series of essays....

A WINTER SCENE THAT IS SEEN MORE AND MORE OFTEN: WIND FARM
OPERATORS ARE FINDING SUCCESS NAVIGATING AROUND 
MOTHER NATURE IN COLD CLIMATES.

Photo Courtesy of Getty Images

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Many of us might believe that our natural creativity and talent would come pouring out while we have the time to concentrate on the things we love to do and organize the imagination and originality trapped inside of us. COVID-19 seems to have allotted us the time, but is it reasonable to believe that we are able to take the upmost advantage of it under the current circumstances?

What sounds reasonable, feasible, and justifiable may not always be the truest picture that tells a particular story. There will always be a story behind a story and it is useful and, frankly, advisable to do your research before drawing any hard-and-fast conclusions. I began asking myself if anyone else was feeling a bit lost within themselves right now? When given ample time to work like a bat out of hell on many projects I’ve begun, why aren’t they progressing more smoothly, coming to fruition? So, I started doing my research.

Humans tend to place blame when things go awry on other people, organizations, or things they don’t like or approve of. Such was the case of the innocent, hard working wind turbines located in Texas last week. Fox News host, Tucker Carlson, said, “The state’s power grid failed because windmills froze.” Carlson, who exists in a parallel universe, is known to strenuously push his far right agendas on to those who will listen to him as he sits in his bully pulpit of so-called authority at Fox News. Unfortunately, some people will hang-on to his every word instead of employing a modicum of common sense and reason to what they hear.

In this instance, climate change denial is not an excuse, especially when it comes to correcting our mistakes and embracing progress. Learning how to weatherize our resources or knowing  how to store energy for emergencies are top priorities when it comes to dealing with changes in climate. Denying these changes will prove to be detrimental to all of us in the near future.

My Mother told her four children that we should always finish what we started before moving on to other things even though she was one of the best multitaskers I have ever known! She wanted us to feel that sense of accomplishment and take pride in it before we attempted anything else. Even though we desperately tried to comply, it was a struggle as young, undisciplined minds often veered off in multiple directions at any given time.

With Mom’s voice in the back of my head, and despite the meanderings of my thoughts, I slowly slip down the rabbit hole of research and understanding on the Internet surrounded by juicy nuggets of opinions and examples. Finding several recent articles that jump out at me, my own beliefs are reinforced via instances of others experiencing similar anxiety.

In an article published on February 19, 2021, by Alison Flood for The Guardian, she offers writer’s block examples entitled Writer's blockdown: after a year inside, novelists are struggling to write. Author William Sutcliffe wrote on Twitter: “I have been a professional writer for more than twenty years. I have made my living from the resource of my imagination. Last night I had a dream about unloading the dishwasher.”

If the first lockdown was about finding space to write (along with an energetic spirit and a Meijer ‘ship shopper’ schedule), “...then the second has been far bleaker and harder for creativity. Whether it is dealing with home schooling, the same four walls, or anxiety caused by the news, for many authors, the stories just aren’t coming,” she explains.

I know exactly what they’re talking about, especially the ‘anxiety caused by the news’ part! I have woken up in a fog, eventually seated with iPad on my lap, fingers hovering over the keyboard, my imagination abandoning me: “With my shadowy characters screaming for me to get them out of this or that mess, I shake my head knowing that I don’t always have the emotional and intellectual strength to do that. Life is just a sea of greyness, timelessness,” sighs author, Linda Grant. 

Personally, it began on November 9, 2016, with dark thoughts surrounding an even darker future and a soulless creature slated to be at the helm and leading our country deeper and deeper into the abyss. My dark feelings intensified to unimaginable heights about a year ago. We’d just returned from a memorable trip in Florida with good friends and landed smack into the clutches of the COVID-19 pandemic upon returning to Michigan. As the tan began to fade, fear and anxiety of not being able to be with loved ones and friends, along with the prospect of contracting COVID-19, began to grow and I realized that we were in it for the long haul—for better or worse.            

Before the scientists injected us with hope via small vials of precious vaccine, our darkest hours hit as hospitals filled to capacity and beyond, healthcare workers shed their tears of sorrow and fatigue, and death toll numbers quickly began to rise. Many people denied (and still do) what was happening. But, many of us learned how to coat the blades of the windmill with carbon fiber (love) and circulate hot air inside the blades of our wind turbines in preparation for bad times, freezing weather. We wore face masks and kept our distance from others in public. We sacrificed human contact with family and friends. We struggled but we kept those wind turbines from freezing!! And today, our actions are beginning to pay off.

Hopefully the fog that encompasses creativity will burn off...soon! Old projects will be completed and new ones will begin without the anxiety or pain. May we all learn how to weatherize our resources and store energy for emergencies. These will always be our top priorities when it comes to dealing with climate change, the coronavirus, and all of life’s battles that ceaselessly confront our well-being.

Copyright © 2021 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved