GENERATIONS OF EMBRACING YOUR INNER CHILD

 

A series of essays….

FIVE OF THE CUTEST TRICK-OR-TREATERS—EVER!

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

It really doesn’t take much more than a keen imagination to enjoy the true meaning of Halloween. It’s simply a matter of having fun and allowing our inner child to lead the way—even if it’s for only one day each year!

As a daughter, mom, and grandmother myself, I’ve enjoyed many years of getting into the Halloween spirit, either through my own children or their children, and holding on to the inner child within me. It might be as simple as turning on the porch light and hoping to have the neighborhood kids and their friends step-up on the porch fully costumed and excited to receive their treat.

Because there are so few children who come down our dead-end street (appropriately named), we’ve resorted to becoming the cool house on the block by passing out full-sized candy bars and keeping the porch light on until after eight. 

We haven’t dressed-up in a costume for quite some time, but have never lost the true spirit that acknowledges this quirky time of the year. As grandma, I’ve walked around our daughter’s neighborhood with our son-in-law taking the  grands from house to house in search of free sugary delights.  Later, the candy would be sorted on the living room floor, exchanged between one another according to personal tastes, and gratefully offered to the adults in the room if the treat did not meet expectations. 

THE NIGHT’S BOUNTY IS
DIVIDED AND CONQUERED

As a child, I’ve walked side-by-side with my older brother down one block after another at Halloween. I still marvel at the ingenuity of my Mom when it came to making costumes for us. With money constraints in mind and having been a child of the Great Depression, she would always ask us what we would like to be each Halloween and then set out to make it happen—stretching her imagination and materials as far as humanly possible. 

Ronnie became a hobo who carried his belongings in a large scarf that was tied to a long stick and hoisted on his shoulder. I recall him parodying a player of many sports (baseball, football, tennis, and basketball). My costumes ranged from a colorful butterfly with gossamer wings attached to my shoulders, similar to the straps on my school backpack, to a clown with colorful clothes and wearing a thick, red smile on my face.

One Halloween, sacrilegious or not, I asked Mom if I could be the Blessed Virgin. I was at the age when attending a Catholic grade school and learning about helping those in need made a significant impact on many of us kids and I was beginning to see myself dressed all in white and taking the vows of ‘missionary sisterhood’ in order to travel all over the world to help others. Granted, this seems self serving in every way considering my love for travel was always in the back of my mind. But, so was the kindness towards those in need that the nuns preached to us about every day.

While dressed in a light blue robe and veiled in a soft, white material that was held tight with a plastic headband, Ronnie and I set out to fill the pillow cases we held with goodies. We were making good headway when we came upon a house a distance away from home that had kids shaking their heads as they walked off the porch. Don’t bother, one boy said. When we got to the door it was opened with a squeak and an older lady, standing not much taller than myself, handed us a slice of white bread saying, This is all I have, but I wanted to give you something and see all of your fine costumes tonight! 

Ronnie scoffed and turned to navigate her porch steps back down to the sidewalk. Looking into her tired eyes, I saw how sincere she was and patted her hand while thanking her for her ‘treat.’ Her smile was well worth it. Lessons were learned that particular Halloween and I will never forget her impact on me.

Dan and I decided to prank Ali and Eric one Halloween by dressing-up, identities disguised as a dirty, old man (mask) for Dan and I became Mike Myers from the movie, Halloween. We lived in Orlando at the time and traveled forty-five minutes to their house in Champions Gate. They opened the front door to our chorus of trick-or-treat as we proceeded to walk directly into their foyer invading their space and wondering how they’d react to such pushy trick-or-treaters.

They were way too polite and asked what was going on and if we would please step back onto the porch. When we heard the bit of panic in our daughter’s voice, we removed our masks and received a pummeling from her in return. Even though that was close to eighteen years ago, I believe there was a lesson learned that night, as well. 

Mom may have used what materials she had lying around the house to fulfill our Halloween dreams, but our daughters are more than happy to purchase these dreams for their kids from the local pop-up Halloween shop or an online store and have it delivered to their house. There are flashbacks of Woody from the movie Toy Story, a Michigan State cheerleader, a Ninja Warrior, a smiling, blue Narwhal, a French chef, and numerous Disney Princesses throughout the years.

Still, my favorite was the costume she put together for her son when he was two years old. We called him the ‘Little Man.’ With a gray Fedora covering his blond/white hair, Oxford shirt and tie, patterned vest, and dress pants with black shoes—the piece de resistance had to be his hand drawn mustache and snappy smile. 

WHAT A HANDSOME ‘LITTLE MAN’

My generation of Halloween moms kept McCall’s, Butterick, and Vogue sewing patterns in business. And, for the most part, we cut out and sewed together the ghastly witches, perky Raggedy Anns, princesses, Wonder Woman, orange and red clowns, pale blue fairies with gossamer wings costumes, plus so many more! I enjoy sewing and this was the perfect opportunity to savor the results of my efforts and share them  with my kids each year.

The ‘Perfect Halloween Storm’ arrived when we lived on State Street (a main road) in Eaton Rapids back in the early ‘80’s and our Victorian home was the ideal setting for it to happen. The weather was warm, the sidewalks were trafficked by local trick-or-treaters, as well as all of the children hauled in from the surrounding rural areas. We provided the somber porch lighting and sound affects to set the mood which included a frightening Halloween cassette playing on one of the kid’s boomboxes set-up in the corner of the foyer. The lights flashed off and on and the thick eight foot tall, oak entrance door squeaked when slightly moved.  

That year, including running back to the store to replenish our candy stock, we counted approximately 550 pieces of candy given out. Not to mention sharing a million laughs, the wide-eyed looks from those under five years old, a few tears from over stimulated porch visitors, and happy parents wearing broad smiles as their little munchkins held up their opened containers to have us add to their night’s bounty. 

Three generations of women. Three generations of moms getting in touch with their inner child. Three generations of doing it their own way with the outcome being just as charming and delightful for each child involved. Kudos to all of the men who have worked just as hard throughout the years to place smiles on the faces of their little ones. There is something quite magical about Halloween; a celebration of fun and the lack of inhibitions that sparks genuine enthusiasm and sharpens the imagination in all of us.

Hope you enjoyed your Halloween this year…!

Copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes 

All rights reserved

IT'S ALL ABOUT LIFE'S STORIES

A series of essays....

A JOURNEY FOR TWO.....
SUNSET AT BARNES COUNTY PARK,
LAKE MICHIGAN

....as seen through my eyes!




By: Jacqueline E Hughes

It continues to amaze me how I can see my father’s nose while looking into the mirror. I’ve always resembled my mother in every way, except in stature, (she stood a mighty    5’ 2” with me towering over her at 5’ 7”). But, dad’s nose is there now....right down to the tiny indentation along the right tip. I only ask that his hyper, elongated ears do not follow me into my near future! If so, I may never be able to wear dangle earrings again!

Age has a way of sneaking up on us; literally changing and drawing us into the history and stories that shaped our lives in the first place. 

KEN BURNS INTERVIEWED BY PBS

Recently, when asked why he chose Country Music as the topic for his current PBS Documentary, Ken Burns replied, “It’s all about the wonderful stories. The words and the songs and the stories of country music will live with all of us, forever.” Storytellers keep the words alive the way all art tells the tale of us coming together by laughing, loving, hating, feeling profoundly sad, hoping, dreaming, and showing kindness towards one another.

This is my latest story...

Driving back to Kalamazoo this past Sunday after enjoying a weekend of wedding anniversary celebration near Petoskey, we decided we were hungry and the town of Hastings loomed on the horizon. Hastings had always been a town we drove through to get to another place and had never stopped to eat or shop there before. Slowly driving through the downtown area, it was a crapshoot as to which restaurant was even open on an early Sunday evening. Walldorff Brewpub & Bistro looked promising.

We had been seated in a booth along the far wall and while waiting for our beverages to arrive, we discussed our weekend of hiking, witnessing spectacular sunsets over Lake Michigan, our drive through the Tunnel of Trees just north of Petoskey, and walking under the canopy of some of the tallest pine trees we’d ever seen at Hartwick Pines State Park. 

THE HOUSE ON THE HILL

Our beautiful French farmhouse in Ellsworth was appropriately named, The House on the Hill, as it overlooked Saint Clair Lake and golden sunrises that seemed to set the shimmering water on fire. The B&B’s close proximity to everything we wanted to experience in that area of Pure Michigan served us well.

After setting our drinks down and placing our dinner order, Heather, our waitress, came back to our booth and looked a bit shy and awkward as she smiled down at us. Finally, she said, “I am not at liberty to tell you who It is, however, your entire meal has been taken care of this evening.” 

Say what? 

“But we don’t know anyone here in Hastings,” Dan said, looking stealthily around the large room. My gut reaction was expressed by asking, “How does anyone here even know that today is our anniversary?”

“It is?” our ponytailed, young waitress queried. “This is exciting and this will be passed on to them, for sure. They will be so happy and amazed.”

Evidently, sworn to secrecy, Heather smiled and left to see if our dinners were ready. My only hope at the time was that our mouths didn’t stand agape with incredulity for too long. Not the most appealing look, for sure. Perhaps this would have been the reaction our unknown benefactor was looking for. Well, he, she, or they were not disappointed then!

VIEW FROM OUR PORCH

CHARLEVOIX, MICHIGAN

Speculation was rampant on our part and we realized that it was an interesting and semi-uncomfortable feeling to be watched by others and not be able to reciprocate the eye-to-eye contact with a corresponding look in their direction. Let alone, not know exactly who to thank for such a kind gesture.

Having built several multi-family projects in the area many years ago, Dan imagined that someone who may have worked for him had recognized him after all this time. He then reasoned that they would want to make contact and say hello if this were the case. I could see Dan’s eyes searching for clues, faces aged by nearly thirty years of living, or someone giving us a fleeting glance of recognition. However, absolutely nothing....

This is when the eyes secretly dance around the room while the head remains perfectly still. The brain (voice of reason) automatically asks the question, why us? And, after several moments, the heart begins to fill with warmth and gratefulness and you speculate that maybe, just maybe, someone does this on a regular basis because, quite simply, they want to. Secretly observing the various reactions of their surprised recipients may give them pleasure and something to look forward to.

Just as our fertile brains began to piece together our unexpected yet totally delightful circumstances and time left us to wonder what the criteria was in making their final selection, we were eating our last few bites of fish & chips and warm chicken sandwich. Suddenly, our waitress glides up with a large piece of cheesecake laced with berry compote and rich caramel and places it on the table between us. We immediately noticed that the letters, HA (Happy Anniversary), were emblazoned in caramel along the inside of the stark, white dish. 

READY FOR DESSERT

“They were delighted it is your anniversary and would like you to celebrate with dessert.” By now, we felt like we’d become old friends with our entertaining ‘twenty-something’ and her conspiratorial half smile still lingers on my mind.

Like two kids sitting at the local soda fountain, we leaned in, forks at the ready, and savored each blissful bite.

Heather returned to our table to ask if there was anything else we required and wished us a very happy anniversary, once again. If we could not thank our benefactors personally, we asked if she would be kind enough to do so for us, to which she wholeheartedly agreed. 

“They must be regulars here at the restaurant,” I stated. Heather nodded in agreement.

“Yes, they love doing this and when we see them come in, one of us on the staff knows we’ll be passing their gift of kindness to another table during the evening. I don’t know why or how they choose who they do....they haven’t told us that. But, they were delighted that you were celebrating a milestone in your lives and told me this has never happened before. This made them very happy, too!”

“Please let them know that their gift truly made our day extra special,” I said. 

“Yes,” Dan agreed. “And the total surprise of being treated so kindly will never be forgotten.”

Smiling, Heather’s eyes sparkled and we could tell that this whole thing made her and all of the staff as happy about being a part of it as anyone else. Wow, what a win, win, win situation this was.

WALLDORFF BREWPUB & BISTRO

BISTRO SEATING

You can believe Dan and I talked about everything that transpired over and over again on the comparatively short drive back home. The answer to the question of why us?, as well as digesting the myriad of circumstances that led us to that town, down that street, to that restaurant, at that particular time, remain phenomenal and, of course, unanswered. 

But, when all is said and done, Dan and I ask ourselves, “Why not us?” We know we will be eternally blessed by this experience, anxious to do the same for someone else one day, soon, and always willing to open our hearts to the kindness of others. Fortunately, as a storyteller myself, I am able to share our anniversary blessing with all of you. 

Like the continuous stories created through country music that get passed along from generation to generation, the simple stories of storytellers will help to preserve a way of life that may otherwise be forgotten and lost to all of us...forever.

DAN STANDING NEAR TALL PINES
AT HARTWICK PINES STATE PARK

LOOKING UP INTO THE CANOPY

Copyright © 2019 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights preserved

Photos Copyright © 2019 by Jacqueline E Hughes

SAY BUDDY, CAN YOU SPARE A FIVER?

 A series of essays....

SHARING DOWNTOWN ORLANDO WITH
MY BROTHER-IN-LAW, CHRIS

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

A story I read many months ago has stuck with me every day since roaming about our new hometown of Kalamazoo, Michigan, and observing the many homeless people who push their ‘carts of worldly belongings’ from one area to another. Mind you, Orlando, Florida, where we recently moved from, was not immune to having a large contingent of homeless folks, however, it always seemed more reassuring to note that in the winter months they weren’t, necessarily, freezing, lonely, or completely helpless. I'm not sure how often those living in empty, tree-filled lots were thought about as many of us sat quite comfortably in our ‘climate controlled’ small, stucco mansions touting the false securities of our gated communities.

The story went something like this: 

When confronted by the homeless population, please don’t think of them as anything but who they are. Do not believe that their primary agenda is to collect a small nest egg in order to improve their situation or do what we, their observers and donators, think they should do with the money they are, half reluctantly, given. We are not their judges, mentors, or guardian angels meant to gently touch them with thoughts without actually touching them in order to persuade or coerce them into becoming viable citizens of the community.

These are gentle souls who live by their own agendas. If we so choose to contribute financially to them in either small or larger increments, know that we are doing so out of our own love for humanity. We often gather the collectivity of moral and ethical standards or judgments while applying our emotional concerns when seeing a homeless person; to the point where we apply the principle that our conscience and sense of duty towards our fellow man should compel us to react to their hardships whether or not we understand the fundamental concept of why or how they have embraced their particular hardship on their own.

Many of our homeless individuals find their solace in the principle of self-preservation.

When we consciously decide to provide someone with financial aid, we should not concern ourselves with what they will spend it on. Believe me, our spare change to them is, in reality, a small contribution to their bad habits and keeps them trolling for more, day and night. What they spend it on should not matter to us. What does matter is that we have opened-up our hearts to a fellow human being and, with any luck, they may, in fact, use it to secure a solid meal every once in awhile. 

 You have a choice. You can contribute to the homeless population or not. It’s your decision.

THE FACE OF HOMELESSNESS

                           Courtesy of Wikipedia

Please don’t think poorly of me for paraphrasing another person’s thoughts and adapting their feelings into my own story. I agree with the author when it comes down to not being an unfortunate person’s judge or lording it over him with our own personal principles of moral and ethical standards. 

However, as with just about everything else, there are exceptions to this train of thought. Our nation’s current, unstable economical status quo has given rise to many destitute families now having to exist within the poverty level. Families who enjoyed middle-class status along with their parents and grandparents before them, have been squeezed dry by loss of employment, as well as any investments or savings that had been slated for any one of life’s many unknowns such as providing for an aging parent, unforeseen health issues, the loss of a spouse, and the unexpected loss of income.

Since the economic depression we endured in 2008, homes have fallen into foreclosure, personal credit scores have plummeted to extreme depths. Many families, to this day, continue to live in small hotel rooms (if they can afford it), abandoned buildings, or their own vehicles and remain thankful for any financial help they receive just to survive another day. The onslaught of the Trump administration has only served to exacerbate the plight of the the entire Middle Class in our country.

The agenda for these families is to climb out of this hole of oppression and seek the life that they had at one time enjoyed and worked so hard to maintain.

Dan and I took his brother, Christopher, to downtown Orlando one day to introduce him to the night life of the ‘City Beautiful’ including the Church Street attractions, people watching, and a visit to the Orange County Regional History Center located on Central Boulevard. After parking in one of the several ramps, we walked over to the dark, secluded elevator as a gentleman came out of the shadows and asked if we could spare some change. Dan and I looked at one another. But, Chris....well, he automatically pulled out a five dollar bill and gladly handed it to the man who, consequently, smiled and thanked Chris, profusely.

On the elevator ride down to street level, we asked Chris how it was so simple for him to hand over five of his hard earned dollars to this stranger, especially when you know that the odds are he will just head for the nearest liquor store with it. His kind and thoughtful reply stays with me to this day....

“You see, I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to be down on my luck and have people look at me with side-long glances or something. Granted, I was just trying to keep a roof over my head and my car running so that I could get to work every day. Eating one square meal a day at the local Waffle House was a luxury for me. So, I really don’t care if he took my money and ran down the stairs to buy a bottle of the ‘brown bag vino’ of his choice. If I helped him live through another chilly night without giving-up on himself, and doing it in the best way he knows how with no questions asked....I feel I did the right thing by him.”

That’s my brother-in-law; kind, gentle, spiritual, and understanding of the plight of others. Thank you, Chris, for your compelling insight! 

So, yes.....unless your plan is to create major changes by helping people in need and show them how to help pull themselves up by the bootstraps and create a better life for themselves and their family, by all means, invest your time, money (if available), and emotions towards this cause. Roll-up your sleeves and help provide holiday meals for the needy without making them feel guilty or indebted to society. Provide clean clothes and a helping hand towards seeking employment. Give them the hope and desire for a brighter future.

Always know that you can be kind and helpful to others, even those who will fritter away whatever you bless them with, and you don’t have to feel guilty about doing it. And, of course, you realize you can just walk away from them, instead. The kindness you show must come from your heart. When your heart is made just that ‘little bit’ lighter because you cared, it doesn’t really matter where the money is spent. And, maybe, just maybe, you will have done the right thing by them, after all.

Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

HUMANITY WITH A GENEROUS DOSE OF CIVILITY, PLEASE!

 A series of essays....

LYCHEE FRUIT, AN UNEXPECTED GIFT FROM A GOOD FRIEND AND
MY FIRST TASTE OF THIS UNUSUAL AND VERY BEAUTIFUL FRUIT
GROWN IN HER VIETNAMESE, BACKYARD GARDEN
 

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

The current world population is 7.6 billion as of July 2018 according to the most recent United Nations estimates elaborated by Worldometers:

Current World Population

7,633,330,615

TODAY

Births today

132,205

Deaths today

54,758

Population Growth today

77,447

THIS YEAR

Births this year

70,725,785

Deaths this year

29,295,142

The world population is expected to reach 8.6 billion by 2030.

I captured this rolling meter at a specific moment in time: 8:18:27, Tuesday morning, July 3, 2018. Later, I will post the active meter once again and give you the current stats,  captured in real time, as a point of comparison. 

KINDNESS AMONG OUR YOUTH;
SHARING LOVE AND RESPONSIBILITY!

HUMANITY

Humans considered as a group are referred to as the human race: Living, breathing, walking figures of intelligence and members of the primate genus Homo, species Homo sapiens, distinguished from other apes by a large brain and the capacity for speech. Humans have developed far beyond the use of sign language and due to our exceptional communication skills have advanced in the fields of writing, progressive thought, philosophy, Renaissance (revival of intellectual or artistic achievement and enthusiasm), invention and mass production during the Industrial Revolution, Space Frontier (from its beginnings in the 1940’s to manned flights in 1961 and beyond), and lastly....Technology, the branch of knowledge dealing with engineering and applied sciences. 

We humans certainly did not allow the grass to grow too tall beneath our feet while discovering our own valuable capabilities throughout the years! As more and more and more of us continue to populate Earth, we tend to forget that our planet, our number one life support system, never changes in size or quantity of natural elements that serve to maintain our well-being and future on the Big Blue Planet. Many of us take it for granted that the forests, water supply, soil to grow crops, sunlight and rain, the basics of existence, will always be there and ours no matter what we do or how many of us we have sharing these basic necessities together.

Recalling Humanities 101 in college, freshman year, our young, hormonally driven selves studied the classics, the languages and literature of Ancient Greece and Rome. We familiarized ourselves with those branches of knowledge such as philosophy, literature, and art that are concerned with human thought and culture. Being a required course, Humanities 101, you might say, gave us a chance to reevaluate our own lives in such a way that we were better able to choose which path our journey might take us in this world. Also, we socialized and, hopefully, put into practice the quality of being humane and benevolent that had been taught to us by our parents and closest mentors within the first eighteen years of life.

MY SISTER-IN-LAW, SUSIE,
VOLUNTEERING CLEAN-UP DUTIES!

CIVILITY

If you still believe that having your date open the car door or politely pull-out a chair for you to be conveniently seated at the table are very good things...than courtesy and politeness are NOT dead after all! There is a distinction between civility and chivalry. The quality of being humane (civil) extends to demonstrating compassion or benevolence within all forms of our daily life and includes all living beings, as well. As humans, we should be characterized by the tenderness, compassion, and sympathy we have for other beings. This  includes regulations ensuring the humane treatment of animals, whether they be our food source, faithful companions, or those animals that help to balance the delicate ecosystem we humans thrive in.

The French express their civility by the simple act of saying 'bonjour' to everyone they meet along their day’s journey. This small, courteous action or expression displays their affirmation of politeness towards their fellow man and allows everyone they meet to feel special and important within that moment in time. To be civil on a small scale, it may be the direct interaction between two individuals. On a grander and more comprehensive level, what makes a society civil can be our attitudes towards all other members of society, “Especially those with whom we have no direct interactions or much in the way of common interests, as well as interactions between individuals and groups, organizations, institutions, and all levels of government and business, as well,” as written in the paper, What is a Civil Society, by Jack Krupansky.

GRANDCHILDREN BEING KIND
AND HELPING ONE ANOTHER LEARN

We must ask if we consider ourselves civil human beings within the true perimeters of the meaning of civility itself. Do we show and feel compassion for others on a daily basis? If we can truthfully answer yes, than holding a door open for someone else, encouraging thoughtfulness, successfully connecting with others, and incorporating mutual respect, good manners, and being polite to all of our fellow life travelers are the gifts we should generously bestow upon the billions of people we share this planet called Earth with each day. I can’t help but worry about the country we live in today and how it is swiftly losing the adaptation of civility in our daily life. I never would have imagined as a young child growing-up in one of the most liberal and democratic societies that the simple act of kindness could and would evaporate like raindrops on a hot summer’s day because the greatest example of the lack of civility and deep, profound respect for others lives in the White House in Washington D.C.!

BEAUTY...SOFTNESS...KINDNESS

QUOTES TO LEARN FROM

“We have a choice about how we behave, and that means we have the choice to opt for civility and grace.”

– Dwight Currie

"A generous friend 

gives life for a friend 

let's rise above this

animalistic behavior

and be kind to one another"

– Mevlana Rumi

“Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind.” 

– Henry James

As promised above, I captured this rolling meter at a specific moment in time: 8:18:00, Wednesday morning, July 4, 2018. I am posting the active meter once again to give you the current stats, captured in real time, as a point of comparison. What a huge difference twenty-four hours can make! 

Current World Population

7,633,571,610

TODAY

Births today

157,751

Deaths today

65,339

Population Growth today

92,412

THIS YEAR

Births this year

71,137,176

Deaths this year

29,464,471

Population Growth this year

41,672

As the earth's population continues to grow, remember to Love one another as humane beings, as well as to, always, incorporate civility into your daily life. With this power we can make our world, our planet, kind and healthy for everyone! 

THANK YOU

Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved