REBIRTH: A PROCESS OF HEALING AND GROWTH

A series of essays....

“LIKE MIST ROLLING INTO A DREAM...“
MAGGIE VALLEY, NORTH CAROLINA

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

“How can I begin anything new with all of yesterday in me?” —Leonard Cohen

Like mist rolling into a dream that gently wraps all thoughts, and each perspective within its opaque wisdom, life proceeds on a daily basis as we take baby steps along this abstract journey into the unknown. We struggle to stand, to walk, and to communicate with others while observIng and listenIng to their personal creation of the dance of life with each calculated breath that escapes their ruby-red lips.

We are infants morphing into our mature selves with so much exotic pain and exquisite joy accompanying our movements that we’ve been known to cry to the heavens either in shock or ecstasy at any given moment. During quieter days, we curl into ourselves and strategically fail to ask the question, “Why?” So deeply afraid of the answer, but with genuine appreciation for the minute respite, we know the realities of our yesterdays will ambush us once again, tomorrow.

All too swiftly, we become the adult form of our beautiful selves carrying the trappings of adulthood upon our shoulders like our Father once carried us, high above the snakes that slithered around his feet…making us feel tall and momentarily secure. Sadly, he let us down from that lofty place...in so many ways. Standing on our own, survival becomes imperative as we hopscotch our way between the serpents and manage incredible bites of sustenance in the form of hard work and play, coupled by profound moments of sweet, enduring love. Lovers, spouse, children, grandchildren line-up to create this undeniable bond of such magnitude and strength, we find ourselves completely blown away by its power!  

We become survivors. Like a flash of lightning in the evening sky, the electricity flows through our earthly bodies with such creative power that we, in turn, charge the world around us and continue the ebb and flow of eternal life. Alternately, the responsibility and power we hold within us becomes incalculable.

As powerful as life is, it can also be as precious and fragile as our newborn selves. We are dependent, to a certain degree, upon the circumstances surrounding us. When mishandled, not respected, either by ourselves or others, life can become a living hell; sucking the existence from within the soft shell of protection we cling to, our hopes, dreams, ideals evaporate in the foggy mist and our bodies are flung along the sandy beach like discarded seashells, unprotected from the mighty tide rolling in. 

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” —Leonard Cohen

We begin to understand how there is safety and progress in numbers; in like minds with ideals of equality swirling within our souls, searching for a better world for all. We are marching soldiers holding placards filled with symbols of justice and hope above our heads, for all to see and attempt to relate to. Our time here on earth together is fleeting and to pass hatred down from generation to generation is one of the most unscrupulous acts of negligence that should and must be eradicated in our lifetime. Heed the warnings, protest peacefully, and do not cease until the healing process begins to sweep away the loathing of others, the world over.

No longer rookies in this game of life, our baby steps have taken on the grand strides of strong, intelligent adults responsible for change, capable of healing, and striving for the growth and application of mindfulness. We are the grown-ups in the room now. May we always be responsible for our actions. The entire world is watching us.

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.” —Leonard Cohen

LEONARD COHEN: SINGER, SONGWRITER,
POET AND NOVELIST

Remain safe. Stay healthy.

Copyright © 2020 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

RESILIENCE

A series of essays....

EVEN IN A LANDSCAPE OF BEDROCK AND ITS VAST CRACKED PAVEMENT
OF GLACIAL-ERA LIMESTONE, THERE IS HOPE OF A THRIVING LIFE!!!
                                                            .....THE BURREN IN COUNTY CLARE, IRELAND

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

RESILIENCE...

...is a word that applies to everyone these days, especially when used in a practical sense regarding the act of survival. It is this positive self-concept and application of self-confidence in our own strengths and abilities that can often help to answer the question of “Who Am I?” and lead us down the path of sorting things out and, ultimately, keeping us on the right track towards healing ourselves from the inside out; snapping back into our original shape after being stretched, pulled, bent, or compressed by the weight of adversity and depression. This resiliency is shown by many who have lost a home by wildfire, flooding, or the means to pay the mortgage and, amazingly, weathered the adversity with a buoyancy spawned by self-worth and determination, time and assiduous reserves of confidence only to survive and live another day. 

Our challenge today is inside each one of us. Being vulnerable reveals our human nature and demonstrates our susceptibility to being emotionally wounded or hurt. Harmful vulnerability can be challenged by our personal resilience to such harm and the knowledge that our fears are conquerable if we believe them to be. Not surprisingly, this quality of being flexible is not something we are born with. And, this is where our challenge starts as we begin to see positive emotions walking hand-in-hand with resilience. Humor, optimism, and setting forth goals in order to cope with negativity are powers we can learn to utilize in order to control stress and access the power we require to survive. From birth moving forward we clench our teeth when faced with something unpleasant and must learn courage and resolve in order to strengthen our character. 

It is difficult to survive without the trust and positive examples placed before us through family and friends. Early relationships that provide care and support help us develop a positive self-image and teach us to manage strong feelings before they get out-of-hand. Ego control and self-esteem help to discourage self inflicted harm (suicide) through the power of knowing how to take care of our mind and body, feeling good about ourselves, exercising body and soul, and paying attention to our own needs and feelings. If we respect the positive influences that surround us and learn to be resilient when it comes to all of the negative influences (mistreated children, loss of employment, and alcohol abuse, for example), we can learn to cope with the disasters and hardships that infiltrate our lives and come naturally to all human beings throughout their lifetime.

When we become aware that by promoting resilience it allows us to recover readily from adversity, illness, depression, and remain flexible each time while enabling us to return to our original form, unharmed and much stronger...we will then become released from a personal bondage that only serves to stifle our comfort and growth. Believing that you can rather than you cannot and encouraging others towards this train of thought boosts morale and organizes a support group capable of strengthening our coping mechanisms. 

We must remember that knowledge is power. Our goal should be to become more resilient, promote resiliency, and harness the power of resilience in order to adapt to our ‘roller coaster’ whirlwind ride called life. We must teach a child to be resilient from the beginning of their life, to go with the flow, to interact with their environment, adapt to change, and meet their lifetime goals head on. A world filled with less bullying and more caring would be a kinder, more loving place to live in. To learn to be resilient towards the bullying would help us adapt and survive life's negativity. 

Author’s Note: This essay was inspired by an article entitled, Put down the self-help books. Resilience is not a DIY endeavour, written by Michael Ungar, contributed to The Glove and Mail, and published on May 25, 2019.

Copyright © 2019 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved