FRIENDSHIP, FAMILY, AND FABULOUS JAZZ....OH, AND A REALITY CHECK, TOO!

A series of essays.....

JAZZ SAXOPHONES OF A DIFFERENT COLOR

.....as seen through my eyes!





By: Jacqueline E. Hughes 

Cocoa Village, located mid-way along the East coast of Florida in Brevard County, still resembles the small, quaint village it must have been so many years ago. Back when Henry Morrison Flagler was running his new train tracks along the coastline of Florida and creating a legacy for himself from St. Augustine, down to Palm Beach, and on to Miami! 

Tucked away just off Highway 520 and connected to Florida’s Space Coast today, Cocoa Village is noted for its colorful little shops, coffee houses, Riverfront Park, antique malls, restaurants, and art galleries. Truly, a small slice of heaven. With all that it has to offer everyone, we’ve become especially partial to two places within the village that have captured our hearts and thoroughly satisfied our cultural appetite for great jazz and incomparable theater productions.

TOP NOTCH JAZZ PERFORMANCES AT THE
BLIND LION, SPEAK EASY AND JAZZ BAR

Nestled behind Brevard Avenue (the main street) and the Ossorio Bakery & Cafe and up a flight of sagging, wooden steps, we take a left turn at the top landing and enter another dimension; a time of inaudible whispers and fleeting promises, booze generously flowing like a mountain stream after a heavy rain, and the high-pitched laughter that springs from the joy of momentary forgetfulness. Welcome to the Blind Lion, Speak Easy and Jazz Bar. We swooned with the best of them as talented jazz notes beckoned us in with their seasoned personalities and kept us there with brilliant, top-notch performances!

THE HISTORIC COCOA VILLAGE PLAYHOUSE

Have you ever been so ‘blown away’ by the professionalism and talent of a community theatre production that you just couldn’t stop talking about it for days afterwards? The production of The Secret Garden, performed at The Historic Cocoa Village Playhouse, open since 1924, was beyond brilliant and rivaled any theater production I’ve seen while living here in Central Florida. With its family of local performers and technical staff, the Playhouse’s full line up of Broadway Musicals has earned it the nickname “Broadway on Brevard” and, I believe, Broadway itself would be proud to have these productions performed on its hallowed stages.....any day of the week!

For the past several weeks we’ve been sharing our little corner of the world with others and introducing them to the wonders of Cocoa Village, spending a lot of time at the Cornell Museum of Art on the campus of Rollins College in Winter Park, and feasting at local restaurants all along Central Florida from Orlando to Cocoa to the warm, sandy shoreline of Port Canaveral. Unfortunately, SpaceX did not have any launches scheduled during the time our company was here. A space launch is always a sight to behold. For over fifteen years we’ve been observing the Space Shuttle Program from our front yard and now, SpaceX has launched its way into history while boosting the importance of the Space Lab experiments, as well as initiating future space exploration.....Mars and beyond?

Closer to home in Orlando, the Cornell Museum of Art, located on the beautiful campus of Rollins College, is featuring a French Impressionism Exposition that rivals most intimate, European expositions and is guaranteed to captivate the heart of any art connoisseur. 

SUN-DAPPLED SHORES OF LAKE VIRGINIA,
ROLLINS COLLEGE, WINTER PARK, FL

After indulging in the wonders of French Impressionism, a lackadaisical walk around the sun-dappled grounds of Rollins and along its Lake Virginia shoreline made us all think about walking in the footsteps of one of her most intriguing graduates (1951). Fred McFeely Rogers, creator of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, is being honored with a walking tour on campus by featuring the classrooms and other places he frequented while a student there. It’s an interesting and insightful walk down memory lane while honoring a man who has given so much back to his community, country, and the people he loved.

PORTRAIT OF FRED McFEELY ROGERS,
PAINTED BY DON SONDAG

 HAND-KNIT SWEATER BY MR. ROGER'S MOTHER
AND TENNIS SHOES HE WORE ON SET

At this very moment, the dust is settling a bit after the whirlwind of the last few weeks. Rental cars have departed after being loaded with overstuffed suitcases that, eventually, rolled out the front door. Laughter and soft spoken conversations linger within the high-ceilinged rooms of our home accompanied by the gentle thoughts of mere mortals who shared time and space together while creating memories of ‘jazz hands’ and friendly games of Euchre at the kitchen table.

SELFIE WITH JANIS!!!!

JANIS AND FRED ENJOYING THE FLORIDA RAYS

JANIS, DAN, AND FRED....CHILLIN'

Family and Friends have gathered beneath the rafters at Morgan’s Mill Circle for, perhaps, the last time. After our last guests pulled out of the driveway Friday morning, I knew that the final chapter was being written; more than twenty-one chapters of ‘real life experiences’ were being wrapped-up, decorated with a huge, red bow, and neatly prepared for delivery and eventual publication within the eternal archives of human existence. And, I will never allow myself to forget a single spoken word; an individual moment in time....!

MARSHA & MICHAEL AT BLIND LION

DAN, LEO, SUSIE & ME AT A DETROIT TIGER,
PRESEASON GAME  

WITH MARSHA & MICHAEL AT CAPE CANAVERAL BEACH

ENJOYING GREAT JAZZ
AT THE BLIND LION SPEAK EASY

Instead of mad, last minute grocery shopping for vital items needed to create an Easter masterpiece for Sunday’s dinner, we were spending Saturday in Lowe’s and Home Depot purchasing small, heavy-duty cardboard boxes, packaging tape and paper, and other various moving paraphernalia we deemed necessary to have on hand. Sunday’s meal consisted of a delicious salad with avocado dressing; total compensation for all of the rich meals, bread, over abundance of wine, and occasional dessert consumed prior to this Holy Day. “Bless me, Father....!”

ANTIQUE OAK HUTCH IS DOWN

MY PITCHER/TEAPOT COLLECTION....
WAITING TO BE WRAPPED AND BOXED

Heavy pieces are coming off the walls (the antique oak hutch in our kitchen) while matching paint is being pulled from its hiding place atop a tall storage shelf and stirred to its original, cohesive smoothness before touching-up the walls. Did that hutch choose to relinquish its right to oversee our personal kitchen activities after so many years? Will it continue to hold my unique teapot collection and ‘unspeakable’ secrets close to its bosom when it resides on Hazel Avenue, soon? Does it even matter at this point in time? It certainly does, to me.

LET THE SUN SHINE BRIGHT AS
DIAMONDS IN THE POOL

You see, our lives are changing. We are being split into two identical parts, as if, at this age, our cell division has yet to halt, with one part packing up the memorabilia from two decades of living while the other part is wondering where it will all fit in the ‘little yellow cottage’ up in Michigan. We are learning, first-hand, that our path is not a monotonous straight line, but rather...a bright, multi-colored spiral and we return time-after-time to learn about what we believed we understood years before only to discover more about ourselves each time around.

We are forever appreciative of our friends and family who are helping to make our transition a bit softer, better, and kinder....! Dan and I could not do this without you!

I PROMISE TO REMEMBER THIS.....

By: Higher Perspective

Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

Photos Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

MY COLLECTIONS: COLORS

A series of essays.....

MOUNTAINS, BLUE SKIES, GREEN FIELDS AND SO MANY MEMORIES!

.....as seen through my eyes!






By: Jacqueline E. Hughes


This September, 2018, Dan and I return to visit the Emerald Isle of Ireland along with two wonderful and adventurous friends who have, also, become frequent visitors of this enchanting place. In honor of our trip together to a land that always fills our hearts with joy and stretches the imagination, I am recounting a story I wrote about My Collections. This narrative encapsulates, accompanied by my own photographs, our fourth trip to one of the most magical places on earth. Believe me when I say that Walt Disney World has nothing on Ireland!

Green...

The color green is such a beautiful color to me. And, forty different shades of green certainly describes the Ireland we have come to know and love. Thanking Mr. Johnny Cash for expressing this feeling so beautifully in song....!

THE COIFFURES OF 1960's ROCK & ROLL STARS

Like many occasional visitors to this colorful island, my attention is drawn to the many variations of the color green (my favorite color) when I scan the rich, glossy darkness of green valleys, or the olive tones of unending fields bathed in golden sunlight. The dark green moss clings to, well, just about everything in Ireland, as does the vegetation washing in from the sea, and I am particularly fascinated by the large rocks at the water's edge that look like the coiffures of rock & roll stars, circa 1965.

I am constantly being drawn in by the blue/green hues of an 'ancient forest,' often bisected by a gravelly path that's quietly begging to be explored; its secrets waiting to be discovered around every shadow and each bend.

My eyes absorb the deep purple/green of the expansive shoreline of Ireland's many inland lakes, outlined by volcanic rock washed smooth by foamy waves day after day and resembling a child's coloring book picture outlined in black crayon and accentuating its vast perimeter. Oh, the pure joy of the color green!

Grey...

With my own two eyes, as well as my trusty camera lens, I can attest to many other shades of reflected light (color) that is predominant within the beautiful landscape provided by this amazing island. One can witness sturdy shades of grey and ochre that exemplify the solidity of her many mountains and hills. There are numerous rock walls and ancient structures built by man from this incredibly abundant source of material found above and below the earth's surface.

I see fifty shades of grey, at least, and guarantee a much better 'read' on life than that offered by the best selling book trilogy of the same title! Who isn't enamored by the sight of a quaint stone cottage replete with thatched roof and a weathered, wooden entrance door painted sky blue many years before? Add to this collection of 'living engineering' the astounding construction feats demonstrated by the existence of the many ancient castles, abbeys, and hunting lodges that sweep the Irish countryside. 

Blue...

The color blue fills in the spaces between the white clouds above us, as well as the green fields below. Not only does this rich color surround the land in terms of the Atlantic Ocean and the Irish Sea, but its inland lakes offer varying shades of it anywhere from cold, steely greys to cheerful summertime aquamarine with one changing into another within a matter of moments depending upon the sunlight, cloud cover, or rainfall.

We began walking the Newvillage Recreation Area's moderate trail one morning which turned out to be a three and a half mile, cardio-intense gravel walk in the shape of a horseshoe. It meandered through the undulating woods on the outskirts of Oughterard, a small village in Connemara, and we found ourselves within a fairy tale world of canopied vegetation dripping with sparkling raindrops and pierced by sporadic rays of sunlight. 

Stopping to breathe and take it all in, we discovered the soothing sounds of a gurgling stream and crisp, late September leaves crunching under the weight of invisible predators! Navigating the horseshoe bend, we discovered we were elevated high above Lough Corrib that dazzled us with its trail of royal blue water punctuated by contrasting white caps in the distance below. We felt so alive within this harmonious state of sounds and brilliant colors and knew there was no other place we'd rather be at that exact moment in time.

THE VIEW FROM THE SUMMIT OF
DIAMOND HILL IN CONNEMARA NATIONAL PARK

THE GREY OF THE MOUNTAINS AND THE
GREEN OF THE LAND FLOW DOWN TO LOUGH CORRIB

I recall looking out over land and sea from the summit of Diamond Hill, the tallest of the hills making-up the Twelve Bens Mountain Range near the western coast of Connemara. I could catalog the shimmering blue dots of Lough Auna, Nahillion, and Kylemore Abbey far below. My eyes scanned the wider blues of Killary and Ballynakill Harbors that lead out to the darkening depths of the Atlantic. From this height, one can easily observe the harmony between land and water and better understand how masterfully this intriguing island was formed so many years before.

As my husband graciously chauffeured us around and through the colorful and natural beauty of Connemara, I grew to appreciate each and every aspect of the land, hills, and sea. It's a treat for me to look back on my pictures and see how I'd categorized my Collections by their color. I preface each with a color description such as, grey fences, brightly colored boats, crumbling grey houses, and mucky brown bog lands.

BRIGHTLY COLORED BOATS

MUCKY BROWN BOG LANDS

GREY STONE FENCES

CRUMBLING GREY HOUSES

The integrity of each color is heightened and intensified for me when I'm in Ireland. The meandering expanse of the River Shannon becomes the intense blue water of the River Shannon outlined by the bright green grasses along her shoreline. Ireland enhances the senses and allows me to see deeper into the natural beauty of her landscapes, man-made engineering wonders, along with her delightful, colorful, and extremely hospitable people. I, quite naturally, feel at home in Ireland.

My heart wishes to share the color grey with you as I sit here in my home in Florida holding tightly to my souvenir rock I lovingly released from the chilly waters of Lough Corrib. I want to share the color grey with you, yet again, in the form of very personal places lived and loved in by Irish families many years ago and left to decay in harsh weather from season to season as forgotten testaments to what once was....

Within each structure my heart feels the birth of a child and the death of an aging grandparent. I am able to celebrate birthdays in them and understand that marriages were consummated there. From the whitewashed, smoke-laden stone walls, I smell the pungent, acrid odor of thousands of peat fires that kept many of their occupants from freezing to death in the night. I detect the tension of sad, overworked women, mothers, who wait desperately for their husbands to return home with food to feed the young bairns. I listen to the echoes of family discussions bouncing off the walls trying to figure out if they should stay and wait things out, or just pack-up their meager belongings and abandon their birthright for a ticket to Amerikay!

WEDDINGS, BABIES, SMOKE-LADEN STONE WALLS

My emotions exhaust me to my very core. I feel so much life surrounding and from within each structure as if they were still occupied today. I want to know if the inhabitants found time to appreciate the sweet beauty of the world that surrounded them. Or, were they working long and hard just to survive? In fighting for what they needed, did they lose sight of all that they already had? I often wonder....

As modern day visitors of this incredible place called Ireland, and manned with rental car, camera, and sustenance to be found at the nearest restaurant or pub, we can luxuriate within unrestrained time, walk the paths, climb the mountains, fish the lakes, and capture a more simple way of living with each picture and breath we take.

DILAPIDATED MANOR HOMES

A WALL WITH A VIEW

We, as tourists, have been elevated to new heights as we ride along on the 'memory train' that was built and navigated by so many lost souls. May we always live to remember and appreciate all of their long, hard work! Color this one: Sadness in Shades of Blue. 




Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes
All rights reserved
Photo Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes
All rights reserved

MOVING 'TWENTY YEARS' UP NORTH

A series of essays.....

HOMEOWNERS IN ORLANDO

.....as seen through my eyes!



By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

Prior to moving down to Orlando, my husband had to put up with a mad person. 

“People don’t travel down to Florida to live,” is how I would counter his attempts at reasonability. “People travel down there to vacation, right?” We’d, actually, been doing just that for almost twenty-five years with our two, young daughters while we owned a week’s timeshare condominium on Sanibel Island, Florida.

After much kicking and screaming, and abject resistance on my part, and old fashioned wooing on his, I conceded after nearly a year. Our youngest, was just entering her freshman year at Michigan State University and I was bound and determined not to abandon her at this critical time in her life. Also, I was enjoying my job and was hard-pressed to leave it, our daughter, or the state that I had called home for so many years.

The ‘magical’ part (pun intended) was that our oldest daughter had secured a job with Walt Disney World after graduating from MSU and was just beginning a ten-year-long career with the company. Having her near helped me through the depression I’d been feeling about having to relocate.

And so, this journey to the City Beautiful (Orlando’s nickname), Theme Park Alley, and more people from all over the world than you could possibly imagine in one small space, began. It was nineteen hundred and ninety-seven when my husband drove down to begin his new job as Project Manager with Picerne Development. Our oldest daughter followed him down after accepting an Internship with Walt Disney World. I was, happily, up North trying to figure out how it happened to be that I was, suddenly, living all alone with family scattered here and there. And, then....it was time to move and join Dan in Orlando!

Moving itself was a no-brainer. The company moved everything we’d been collecting as a family for over thirty years and we had it divided between our new apartment and an air conditioned storage unit until we had a plan formulated as to where and when we moved into our own home. “Got to learn the lay of the land first,” I would say. “I have no clue which area of this sprawling city I want to live in! And, not knowing a single person down here to help fill us in, this is going to take some time.” Dan did agree with this.

Even as depressed as I was about having to change my life so completely, as well as leaving our youngest in college up in East Lansing, I knew that, eventually, I needed to find a job. The simple act of employment really turned things around. My concentration was not centered around ‘poor me’ anymore; it was about working once again, being with other people, and saving money for our new home. For the first time in many months I felt totally alive!

Two years in and with steady weekly deposits into our savings account, we were ready to take the piano out of storage and become homeowners in Orlando!

As our oldest daughter spread her wings and climbed the corporate ladder, we had two years to figure out where we were going to plant our Floridian roots and chose to build our ‘forever’ home on the East side of the city with convenient highway access to anything and everything of importance to us. 

Every night for four months, we would meet at our construction site to see the progress on our new home: “Perfect timing. Thought you were going to be late,” I chided. “You’re the one who had to drive all the way from Celebration to get here. That’s almost forty-five minutes across town on the 417! Let’s go see how much they accomplished in there today,” he said. How excited we were, and to think that building on our dreams within those four, cement block walls (eventually, to be covered in stucco) with the plumbing pipes sticking out of the cement slab on the ground....I felt I was going to be living on the other side of the moon! Pipes were supposed to be stuck somewhere between the wall studs or in the ceiling! And, not being able to have a basement was culture shock for me. 

Our oldest daughter met her future husband here. They were married on the west side of Orlando and gave us two of the most beautiful and brilliant grandchildren here. Having decided to follow an alternate career, however, they moved to Michigan and now thrive not far from where her sister resides. Our youngest, found the ‘love of her life’ in Michigan, married him and produced three adorable and accomplished children......including twins! And, then there were ‘five’ of the most precious reasons to ever reconsider making grand changes in our lives.

Dan retires this year. The pulse of life ebbs and flows with the tides that pull at the vast seas surrounding this semi-tropical peninsula we call home. Changes are coming along the horizon and we either accept them gracefully or remain basking in the Floridian sunshine forever, our family far away in Michigan.

A typical conversation would have gone something like this:

“Did you know this is the longest we’ve been in one home together throughout our married life? We’ve been down here for over twenty years, worked and played hard, and created a ton of memories,” Dan said, continuing the running theme of our Saturday morning coffee-fest while lounging in the room we, lovingly, call our library. 

“I do,” I replied. “But, my question is, haven’t we done all this the opposite way around? Don’t most people retire and then move down here to relax and live? I feel like we’ve been on a perpetual vacation all of this time. I kind of like it, Dan. I don’t know if I can take the Michigan weather anymore.”

“We’ve been very fortunate. But, I think life itself is calling us back up there with all of the kids. Hey, I remember having to convince you that moving down here was a good thing to do. You hated me for pulling you away from up there!”

“My heart was there, Dan. Our ‘baby’ was still there and I felt numb and disoriented when I knew it was time to commit to the disruption of our family by leaving her and making a life down here. 

Looking me square in the eyes, he asked, “Can you make that same commitment to our grandchildren now? Will you pull the ties that bind us here gently apart and help me create a new life surrounded by the people we love?”

“I can do that.” I paused, thinking for a moment. “Do you remember that mad, depressed woman you had to convince that Orlando could be a great place to call home? For nearly a year I would fly down to visit and you’d take me to plays, soft jazz concerts at Leu Gardens Park, with long, sunny drives down the Florida A1A where we’d make stops to walk the beach hand-in-hand and end up hauling tons of sand back into the car before making the trip back to your apartment? I want to feel that warmth again; always keep it alive in my heart.”

“I remember you kicking and screaming all the way down here! You weren’t very happy for quite some time, as I remember.”

“You dropped me in the middle of a fire pit and then flew off to West Virginia and Mississippi for the week for work! Orlando was in a dry spell and fires were flaring up all over the outskirts of the city,” I said, clutching a pillow to my chest as I recalled those frightening, early days.

“I know. You told me it was like I’d left you in the bowels of hell when I flew off to work every Monday.”

“If it hadn’t been for Ali being so close, I would have gone completely crazy! Our daughter helped me keep some semblance of sanity. Then we built this beautiful house together and I, finally, got the chance to decorate a home just the way I wanted to after all these years.”

Smiling at me, “It’s difficult to change. It’s hard to just let go of so many years of memories, isn’t it?”

“Yes. And because of that, you now have another crazy, mad woman on your hands! Only, this time, I’m kicking and screaming in the opposite direction...because, and don’t tell me otherwise, we both feel that Orlando is now our home in so many ways.”

“I agree, wholeheartedly, but after retiring, there isn’t a good enough reason for us not to be up North with all of the kids, my brothers and their families, and all of our good friends. Our lives will be full. Our lives will be complete and we’ll have, definitely, come full circle.”

“You’re right,” I said. “Of course, you are. What I need to do is get over the huge hurdle of retirement, selling this home, and dealing with the intricacies of packing up twenty years of memories. Twenty years of happiness.“

“Yes? And......?” he inquired with a quizzical looking grin on his handsome face.

“If I believe enough in ‘us’ and understand that being a family once again is our highest priority....then, and only then, will it be easy for me to fill up boxes and bins with all of our amazing Florida memories and begin moving ‘twenty years’ of our lives up North.”

“At the end of all our hard work will be the ultimate prize,” he explained. “Those five shining faces accompanied by a million kisses and hugs will surely warm us both up every day of the year!”

“I know. Their love for us and our love for them will always be far greater and much more meaningful than having the Floridian sun shining down like every day is a golden summer’s day. Hey, I love you, too, Papa! Let's get some boxes and I'll start packing some books...."

Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved  

MOVING ON: IN KINDNESS, HAPPINESS, JOY, AND LIGHT...

A series of essays.....

JAZZ HEART....FOREVER!
FEEL THE BEAT AND SWAY IN THE MOMENT.
ALLOW THE RHYTHM TO PENETRATE THE SOUL AS
YOU BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY OF LOVE...

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

I’m beginning to see what I’ve been missing in my life for a very long time. I am learning, day by day. I’m starting to understand a little bit more about why I am going through this miserable period of unsettling and emotional heartache. Enlightenment has been a long time coming for me but, I’ve gradually opened my eyes, my heart, and my soul to so many new, intriguing possibilities. With a spring in my step, I am learning the importance of moving on.

We spend much of our time asking a myriad of questions about the meaning of life only to receive in return a few thought provoking answers which we must decipher, try to comprehend, and, hopefully, hold dear enough to trust in. 

Throughout a year of deep soul searching, one small, uncomplicated word kept floating around and through me while whispering softly, “You’ve known me before when you first fell deeply in love. I was there in your heart when you held each of your daughters for the very first time. I never, truly, left you at all. You were the one who placed me on a dark shelf to gather dust. In order to move on, gently tuck me back where I belong and rediscover how your heart is willing to accept the ‘Joy’ that everyone deserves!”

When and why did I forsake the Joy that once filled my heart? Could it have been when I lost my best friend, my beautiful Mother when she was only sixty-two years old? And I, her child, lost and vulnerable, a young mother myself only in my mid-thirties....? 

Rediscovering Joy, even for the second or third time around, we instantly learn that having it in our lives again can make us wiser, healthier, stronger, and more loving human beings. It can make us feel happy and even ageless all at the same time. Pure Joy never abandons us; we have an uncanny knack of setting it aside when things get tough only to lose it within the deep shadows for long periods, failing to hear its gentle whispers in our ear.

Understanding our personal connection with everyone else in this world is imperative. Agreeing that our calling, as fellow world travelers, is to help relieve the pain and sadness of every woman, man, and child and replace it with Joy is not as daunting as you might think. We all possess the means; the key is learning how to apply it.

The ‘key’ can be as simple as sharing random acts of kindness with others every day!

Kindness towards others...along with the acceptance of all human beings into our lives, is imperative when it comes to seeking Joy, the golden light that shines within each and every one of us. For me, the truest meaning of this life is to find the light within myself, once again, and let it shine for others to see. Given patience and time it will become a strong beacon, a singular tower topped by a system of powerful lamps and lenses, shining brightly enough to be able to guide others towards their own internal light.

Personally, I had been experiencing undeniable heartache for over a year. It was based on confusion, lack of understanding and communication, and the misconception that my personal energy should flow in one direction only...outwards. What I’m beginning to understand is that life’s energy should be flowing in both directions; circulating throughout my being and offering me the strength and understanding that I require in order to become complete and whole. 

If you are unhappy, you must learn to change something in your life. Iyanla Vanzant, life coach, says it best, "If you are remembering all the ways you have been hurt or forgotten, let it go!"

I’ve been allowing the unforgiving feelings of those near and dear to me to take over the person I am; the person I was meant to be. My personal Joy had been siphoned off, chipped away at bit by bit, little by little, until my own shame and humility began to lower the bar of my personal self worth. The unconditional love I have for so many people, those I would do anything for, was being taken for granted, misinterpreted. I began to resemble a cartoon character metamorphosing into swirling pieces of dust particles and falling, one by one, through the cracks of the wooden floorboards. That’s when I knew that change was in order.

I know the absolute love I feel in my heart will never be depleted because my love is too strong and I will not allow that to happen. The intensity and depth of my emotions will never change.

Many people are weary of hearing the old adage, “Everything happens for a reason,” however, I firmly believe that it does. And, while it’s happening to you, you may be so tied-up within your accompanying circumstances that you don’t have time to recognize what’s going on at all. I was coherent enough to realize that I’d been stewing in my own turbulent, emotional juices for a very, very long time. 

With the kindness and helpful understanding of a dear friend (a Sister-of-Life), a colorful butterfly has emerged from her cocoon and her eyes can see what the heart failed to imagine for these many long, sad years. My Wise Sister has helped me to see how harboring such complicated emotions deep inside has taken a toll on my physical well being in the form of lethargy, instantaneous tears, and doubting myself at every turn. One cannot continue to live this way and expect to find the Joy they are seeking in this lifetime. Meeting my Wise Sister has renewed, not only the faith I must have in myself, but the feeling that our meeting was surely meant to be. The timing of her sage advice was impeccable. May her joyful spirit dance like the brilliance of the eternal flame of light that she continues to shine down upon others. Thank you, M.

While all of the rough edges are being honed and polished and the belief in myself is slowly emerging from this busy construction sight of damaged emotions, everything is beginning to feel fresh and new as this highly emotional renovation project continues on.   

The road remains littered with potholes and other surprises, I’m sure. And, there’s never a guarantee that the ones you love will return that love to you, absolutely. However, believing that the best is yet to come keeps my life in perspective. For now, I will own my pain but not dwell in it. (Thank you, Miss Iyanla!) I will continue to believe that women really do have the capacity to make things better because it is in our DNA. We do have the power to kiss a boo-boo away!

As Doctor Christiane Northrop, author of the best-selling novel ‘Goddesses Never Age’ explains, “How you live your life is strictly up to you. Your mind truly does control everything about you and you become what you believe.” If I believe in myself, I know that my inner light will shine through the darkness and will help to brighten and unite the entire world in Kindness and Joy.

I will not allow our culture or any individual to dictate how I will move through time or react to change because I will always choose to celebrate, even the smallest victories of my individual pilgrimage, in my own way. I must remember that by being healthy, ageless, and filled with happiness and joy, as positive symptoms, they can be as contagious as the kindness we spread to everyone we meet along this Journey of Love!

It's time to stop singing the Blues and begin swaying to the dulcet tones of the cello and enjoy the pleasant harmony of my heart as it beats in a gentle way with the rhythm of life. 

Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved