WAITING FOR THE POWER OF COMMON SENSE TO BE RESTORED

 

A series of essays….

  LLANSILIN, WALES — SUNRISE COLORS!
WANTED TO GIVE YOU A HAPPY SPOT THIS MORNING.

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

In my humble opinion, based on having lived and interacted on this earth for many, many years, life, basically, consists of a long series of contingency plans, compromises, and concessions. These assist us in coping with change, dealing with others, and understanding our too often feeble attempt at making things run as smoothly as possible.

Our daughter and granddaughter ran with it, so to speak, this past Monday morning, high school picture day, when the power went out around five in the morning. How would she curl her hair, apply make-up, and attend to the final touches attributed to all teenage girls towards the process of grooming, especially before school pictures are taken? 

With her mom’s expert help, she showered by flashlight and straightened her hair (major compromise). Make-up was applied using several strategically positioned mirrors, a cell phone light, and flashlight as her mom choreographed the performance. Not that there weren’t words of frustration exchanged or many tears shed, but they both got through it and survived. 

A spur of the moment contingency plan made a huge difference and, I will almost bet, Brenna’s high school junior pictures will be the prettiest she’s ever taken!

How about playing cat and mouse with the airline carrier you paid good money to in order to get you to your vacation destination? If you read my post from last week, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. To make it to England at all, Dan and I made compromises and time concessions in order to continue with our trip even though we had, unfortunately, lost an entire day and money pre-spent on accommodations. 

While function coordinator at Dusty’s English Inn, located near Eaton Rapids, I worked out highly strategic contingency plans with brides and grooms when it came to planning an outdoor wedding event. The unpredictability of a Michigan day and evening took precedence when planning these special events and often it was difficult to convince a starry-eyed couple of the necessity of these plans. But, it always seemed to work out for everyone in the end.

Many aspects of pulling building permits for clients in Celebration, Florida, required compromises by them, as well as on their behalf. Working diligently with Osceola County and the Building Department helped to secure that both sides were accommodated and everyone was, eventually, on the same page. When working with clients who often believed that Mickey Mouse would be coming to live with them in their new home—life was often quite challenging and very interesting.

Just as women have had to conform to and function in a man’s world for eons, we have yet to equalize the working, personal, educational, or basic balance of life and opportunity between men and women. With the reversal of Roe v. Wade,  the scales have been tipped further into our nation’s past by reintroducing the uncompromising and solemn world of our Mothers and Grandmothers into the twenty-first century and placing on hold the forward motion and progress of woman’s rights. One step forward; two steps back.

Women have had to compromise with and concede defeat to powerful men who believe that by working in equality with women, somehow their power and/or masculinity would be diminished. Please tell me when this archaic seesaw of rationalization will be put to rest once and for all? I’ve had my fill of stupidity for one lifetime and I certainly don’t wish my granddaughters and great-granddaughters to still be fighting this basic fight in the years to come! My patience is running out.

Thank you. I needed that. Fortunately, my husband is sympathetically attuned to equal rights in general and has embraced this concept ever since I’ve known him. This has helped to make life better, far less confrontational, and much more realistic. Both of our daughters have learned and embraced invaluable lessons from him throughout the years.

As a younger writer, I had self-imposed compromises upon my time due to a myriad of responsibilities and obligations I deemed personal and important. (Having and helping to raise a family.) As I grow older, and I concede to the fact that my time has become more and more valuable to me, my quest is to use it wisely and complete the many projects I’d begun so many years ago.

Since I fail to find an appropriate contingency plan for ‘old age,’ I realize how important it is to pick-up the pace, make things happen, and continue my working life with a bounce in my step and joy in my heart. 

Change will come naturally. Change for the betterment of all of humanity will weave contingency plans, compromise, and concessions into its fabric all day long. But, it will always be through the kindness, understanding, and love for people that things will happen smoothly and get done in order to, ultimately, benefit everyone. 

Final question for everyone out there: Is there a contingency plan, a Plan B, we can utilize to combat stupidity? If so, our democracy may depend on it.

MOVING ON….2013 - 2023

Copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

Photo Copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

LE JOURNAL: A VERY ROCKY BEGINNING

 

A series of essays….

AN AMAZING PLACE TO STAY IN NORTHERN DEVON -
THE BONNICOTT HOTEL IN LYNMOUTH, U.K.

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

I will assure you, nobody likes being teased about whether or not their flight will take off, especially when it is at the very beginning of a well-planned, milestone marked, and highly promising trip (adventure). And, for certain, no one would choose spending the first night of this trip sleeping (basically sitting upright all night) in an uncomfortable chair at Gate 19, American Airlines, O’Hare Airport, Chicago, Illinois. Oh, yes…we did just that!

We were to take-off for London Heathrow from Chicago at 9:25 PM and, around an hour before boarding (with no plane in sight at the gate) we were told the flight was delayed by a half an hour. Okay, stuff happens. We generously conceded. Still no plane to be seen. Nobody was offering our rather large group of passengers any sort of explanation or even looking our way. Instead, five to six gate agents were entertaining one another with stories and bouts of laughter and disjointed camaraderie. What was that all about, anyway?

Each half an hour brought yet another posted delay until each delay turned into one hour increments. By now, families with young children had gone far beyond bedtimes and general comforting by relatives on all levels. Again, may I point out that even though many of us may have inconveniently interrupted the frolicking agents to inquire about our late flight, most of us learned of our dilemma by reading the boards that pointed out each and every delay or by checking our own devices on the American Airlines Website to gain any updates or information.

Finally, shortly after midnight, a large, dazzlingly white Boeing 787 emblazoned with American Airline symbols was positioned at our gate. May I say that loud cheers emanated from the weary crowd as children were awakened and belongings gathered. An agent, finally, came on the intercom to explain that we would be boarding in around twenty minutes. She would let us know for sure as time passed. The entire scenario still felt a bit questionable and surreal to us as we watched luggage, as well as commercial cargo, being sucked into the belly of this huge airliner. 

The time arrived and we were being guided down the jet bridge, at last! Stowing our carry on luggage above us and personal items below, it was such an amazing feeling to be snuggling into our seats and buckling up for the long flight to Heathrow. All smiles were genuine and long, long overdue. Life always has its small setbacks and this was just another one that would be gladly forgotten once we reached our destination. Dan had already contacted the car rental company at Heathrow and The Bonnicott Hotel in Lynmouth, North Devon, to note our late departure from Chicago. All bases were covered.

Then the captain came on the intercom…. 

“Folks, the plane has been having some mechanical difficulties and in order to work them out, I must ask that everyone disembark from the aircraft and take all of your personal items along with you.”

Gut punch. How much can your system take before breaking down completely? You never saw so many sad and angry people dragging themselves back through the same jet bridge they’d recently been thrilled to maneuver going in the opposite direction. My instincts had been correct, unfortunately. The negativity remained swirling around all of us like a dark cloud on a stormy night with no relief in sight. And, the inevitable rain was soon to become our own monsoon mixed with the fury of high winds and a genuine dislike of a questionable airline that many travelers have personally avoided at all costs. 

I’m no Sherlock Holmes or anything, but when something smells fishy that’s because something is fishy and even though we may not have had all the details leading up to this smelly predicament, the aroma may be all we needed to help us make changes or improvements.

Now our flight was delayed until 4:00 AM. At least that’s what the board was telling us considering not a living soul spoke another word to us as we diligently attempted to be calm and follow along with what information we could glean.

Mind you—they had us board a plane and then took us off that plane making us feel like lambs going to slaughter; degrading us without a reasonable explanation before pulling the plane away from Gate 19, never to be seen again.

Around the time Dan and I reasoned that our first full day in England was doomed, lost, and behind us, Dan took off in an attempt to secure another flight out of Chicago. We’d been emailed that another American flight would be taking off at 10:30 AM and arriving around 11:30 PM London time. The few seats left on this flight were gobbled up faster than Thanksgiving dinner and my stomach felt like it, too. Did I mention that our original flight had been officially cancelled via email around six o’clock? And, in all that time we heard only two voices over the intercom: one gate agent and the (supposed) captain of the ‘ghost flight’ on a huge 787 airliner that had disappeared from our gate soon after we disembarked.

We were left in the dark as we made our way over to the International Flight Terminal where our new departure was scheduled for 4:50 PM on British Airways, an affiliate of American. Dan’s hustle got us headed in the right direction, finally. 

With one lost day behind us, we hoped that our spirit would keep us afloat for the rest of the trip and, for the most part, it did. Our time in Devon and Cornwall had been diminished by one full day so, we sat on this flight trying to rearrange our initial itinerary and counting our losses as in one, pre-paid hotel night at the Bonnicott Hotel, situated high up on a hilltop with a clear view of the Bristol Channel and Wales on the opposite shoreline.

In all our years of traveling and taking many different air carriers in order to reach our destination, chalk this one up as the worst experience we’d ever had. But, doesn’t this fit right in with our changing times, after all? Our world is different; the process of making people (customers) aware of what is going on at any given time and feel more comfortable if not knowledgeable, is gone, for now. Keeping silent is much easier than being honest and transparent.

Here’s hoping that a compromise will be reached within all facets of life and that we will relearn that kindness is the key word to making everything better and more tolerable no matter what hardships may arise in our lifetime. In the meantime, as the Brits always say, the best way to get through anything seems to be to Keep Calm and Carry On. For the most part, we did. 

After landing in England, Dan and I learned about the computer hacking incident of the control operators at Heathrow and pieced things together. We became even angrier that flights like ours were used as sacrificial lambs and the passengers kept in the dark about the truth and played with for hours before they cancelled our flights! How many others lost an entire day of their vacations, let alone the money and time involved, before learning the reason behind it all? Email conversations with American Airlines are ongoing at this time. I will keep you posted.

MOVING ON…..2013-2023

Copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

AGE IS ONLY A THREE LETTER WORD

 

A series of essays….

WEDDING DAY 1973

BEGINNING YET ANOTHER CHAPTER

….as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

As I sit here on the threshold of resuming international travel — after our last retirement visit to Scotland and Ireland five years before, as well as several years of coping with a pandemic (which still haunts all of us to this day!), I find myself totally exhausted. Surprisingly, not so much physically, rather mentally with all of life’s imbalances thrown willy-nilly about the place; a whirlwind of happenings resembling fallen leaves swirling out of control on a windy autumn’s day.

Normally I don’t tend to dwell on the negatives in life (well, excluding drumpf, of course). Reading a good book, taking walks in the woods and enjoying the nature that surrounds me, and being in the company of my grandchildren can be enough to make life sweet and simple. I try to avoid the things that used to stress me before and eliminate the cause of mental and emotional strain. Always easier said than done. We humans acquire a lot of baggage as we age…

In an attempt to ‘bend the mind’ into believing that age is only a three letter word, nothing to worry about, it can’t harm me, I see how much longer it takes to accomplish tasks compared to years ago. How my left knee requires an occasional Advil or two along with a healthy spray of Biofreeze in order to function with less pain. Watching my thinning hair become more and more lackluster. Understanding that the word crêpe can describe more than a deliciously filled French pancake.

Yes, getting older comes with its physical changes and challenges. However, it’s the mental attitude toward life’s inevitable ebb & flow of reality as we age that has me thinking about the structure of my life, lately.

The sad and untimely passing of my sister-in-law’s sister, Mary, recently, at the very young age of sixty-two, has re-opened a wound that I’ve been living with for many years when my own Mother passed, quite unexpectedly, at sixty-two years of age. Leaving young grandchildren to wonder why grandma wasn’t there to play and bake cookies with them, snuggle with them when they were tired, and warm their hearts with her pure joy and love of life, family, and friends.

It had taken at least a decade after her passing to realize that I couldn’t just call Mom whenever I had questions about anything and knowing that she would have the answer to each one. Your Mother can be the lifeline to your past, your ancestry connection, your fill-in-the-blank go-to-person, your support system, and an integral part of making your life function normally while remaining true to yourself. Since we lived an hour and a half from one another, I miss our frequent and enjoyable phone conversations, as well as the ability to ask her about something as simple as a favorite Ukrainian recipe. Love.

Going back to the imbalances in my life of late… Do you know how you can wake-up and feel that something is off, not following a normal pattern? Or, the milk tastes a little off even though the expiration date is still more than a week away? It all began back on the the Fourth of July after falling backwards down two cement steps in my daughters’s mud room…

…right on my tailbone, scraping my left elbow, and banging the back of my head on the wall before coming to a twisted mass, while staring somberly at the mud room floor.  Before moving, I quickly assessed the damage and reasoned that I could move. I would get up if my brain could be convinced to allow me to do so. 

BREE AND OREO SHARING A TOY IN RELATIVE PEACE AND QUIET…

Naturally, I was all alone. Well, if you consider having Oreo, their dog, inside the house and our dog, Bree, constrained in the back seat of my car parked in the driveway as reputable help in my situation, I was pretty much on my own. Everyone had gone up north to celebrate the holiday and I opted to doggy sit instead. It was time to move. I had two beautiful creatures to take care of.

With the help of a warm, invisible hug and the strong arm of my guardian angel, I stood upright, a bit sore, with the realization that my tailbone would haunt me with pain for a very long time.

Last week I banged my shin on a brick fireplace hearth at a friend’s house that coincided with an existing gash of a few days before that hadn’t had time to heal. I spent the following hour or so feeling the warmth of blood trickle down my leg before being absorbed by my cotton pant leg all while discussing the amazing book written by TJ Klune entitled The House in the Cerulean Sea! What an interesting bookclub gathering that was!

For some reason, preparing to pack our luggage for our upcoming trip to Wales and parts of England has me more stressed than usual. Five years is a long time between international travel and things do and have changed in that amount of time. Perhaps it’s knowing that I should wear a mask during the long flight that has me concerned. The mask will be worn, but I won’t be, physically, happy about it. It is enough to comprehend that COVID-19, or a strain thereof, will be around for as long as we humans exist and, all of us must come to terms with this fact.   

I must look to the bright side and be thankful for the opportunity to travel once again; a passion of mine for so many years. I will forego worrying about the small stuff (By the way, my tailbone has healed nicely), and make the time to set the world straight again; feel happy with my surroundings and make the most out of the life I’ve been blessed with.

Dan and I, while celebrating fifty years of marriage together, will enjoy twelve days of constant movement, being a part of life’s flow, walking down quiet country lanes with astounding views, making new friends, participating in the living history surrounding us, and understanding, with joy in or hearts, how fortunate we both are. That tiny, three letter word (age) will be but a speck lodged way back in my mind. Wow! This is going to be an amazing experience! I can hardly wait to come back to write and tell you all about it.

MOVING ON….2013 TO 2023

Copyright © 2023 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved