CONQUERING FEAR AND EMBRACING GRATITUDE

A series of short essays.....




ENJOYING LUNCH WITH BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS

.....as seen through my eyes!




By: Jacqueline E. Hughes




NOTE: ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED APRIL 17, 2014
            SPECIAL 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' GREETINGS TO JANIS, MY DEAR FRIEND....
            SO HAPPY TO HAVE RECONNECTED AFTER ALL THIS TIME!
           

KERRINGTON AND AUNT ALI

Look at any face and you will see an incredible story behind it.  Peer deeply into their eyes.  Check-out each and every wrinkle.  Explore the silver strands that adorn their heads and realize how time, coupled with a variety of circumstances, contributed to every character mark exhibited on and around that beautiful face......




Perhaps, then, you will be able to see everyone in a slightly different light.  The story doesn't always have to be about you!  The 'Unleashed Dragon,' or Ego (in this instance) can be tucked safely back into the recesses of your mind, for the time being, while the essence of pure gratitude begins to develop and surround you with its sense of peace, beauty and love.  Such Joy!!!

Gratitude is a most interesting word; the quality of being thankful and able to return the kindness shown us by others. I use the word 'quality' here because it signifies the degree of excellence by which we show our gratitude to others.

"Thanks for the piece of gum." 
"I really appreciated you being there for me when I needed you most."  
"You didn't have to go out of your way to pick me up but, I'm sure glad you did!"

Gratitude.


Let me start at the beginning of our trip to Kalamazoo, Michigan, to visit with our children.....




PARTY AT THE SISKIND HOUSE

 This trip was all about Family, Friendship, Homecoming and, I was fortunate enough to be able to extend my visit to ten days when my husband, Dan, could only claim a long weekend due to his work back in Orlando.  Our daughters planned a party on Saturday, hosted by Ali, our oldest, so that we could get together with family and friends not seen for awhile.  It was very thoughtful of them and so much fun!  Papa (Dan) was actually able to complete the Victorian dollhouse he began with our granddaughter several years before.  Logistics was not their friend.  By Sunday we were already taking Dan to the Grand Rapids airport for his early afternoon flight out but, not before all of us enjoyed sunshine and colorful butterflies at the Frederik Meijer Gardens & Sculpture Park.  If you've never been there before....it's a must see.  Do not forget your camera.



BRENNA AND LYDIA
PLAYING WITH DOLLHOUSE

I had rented a car in Kalamazoo for the week in order to maintain my personal mobility without being a burden on the kids.  Monday and Tuesday were all about my five precious grandchildren with visits to Corinne's house (our youngest daughter) to be with her, Lydia and the twins, Brendan and Kerrington, while having the pleasure and company of Brenna and Gavin, Ali's two cuties, as well!  Talk about feeling blessed.....

GRANDCHILDREN AT
FREDERIK MEIJER GARDENS

Also, I anticipated my planned Wednesday luncheon with the three beautiful ladies with whom I shared memories and stories with as our paths crossed many, many years before. This is where my fear and trepidation began to rear it's ugly head and the dragon (ego) was properly unleashed within me.  This is when the pettiness of 'unimportance' and thoughts of pride formed a sinful attraction to me and my stomach churned with fear and self-loathing as I worried more about the superficial self rather than the depths of character that served to layer my wonderful, fulfilled life throughout the years. Would they be able to see my joy or would they concentrate on thinning hair, excess pounds and life-approved wrinkles?

The amazing part was that I failed to imagine, with that scaly dragon breathing down my neck, what thoughts my friends might be having themselves.  Does time and age matter to them?  The ego is a terrible foe.

As eleven o'clock Wednesday morning rolled around and I stood beside my rental car waiting for unfamiliar vehicles to swing into the Food Dance parking lot pulling my past into the present.......I suddenly saw hands waving and huge smiles flashing from behind the windshield of an SUV pulling into the lot.  Janis and Rosie recognized me immediately!  Shortly afterwards, Karen's car joined the lineup with her additional waves and warm smiles radiating from the driver's seat.  The tummy lurching and self-doubt instantly vanished, seriously, right on cue.  I will never be able to resist pure happiness exhibited by warm hugs and bright smiles!  And, there were lots and lots of each as we stood absorbing the good will of friendships reunited, as well as the April sunshine so desired and deserved by everyone who endured one of the most lengthy and frigid winters Michigan has ever served-up.

"Let's go inside!" we proclaimed in unison. 

The indescribable delight the four of us experienced that day can only be appropriately described by the response of truly being grateful....for so many things.  We were enjoying life, our health (painful joints not really an issue), our families, stories (time in space sometimes misplaced but, never forgotten), and we were filled with such life and animation as we rediscovered the 'young woman' within us once again.  We laughed (sometimes giggled) while recounting escapades of daring and adventure which may or may not include old boyfriends, toilet paper, chalk and fresh eggs....not necessarily in that order.  We exchanged where life had taken us right up to that day with stats on children, grandchildren, trips we'd taken, places where we'd lived to our present residences, and the jobs we currently enjoyed or gladly retired from thus opening up new paths and prospects to explore.  Curiously, we all seemed to be happy and at peace, refusing to intricately explore too far beyond the present.

WE ALL LOOKED.....WELL, BEAUTIFUL!

We all looked....well, beautiful!!  We were bright-eyed, fun and carried on non-stop conversations. Joy and Gratefulness will do that for you, I suppose.  

A wise man once said, "It's only when we conquer our fears do we truly begin to live."  That man is Louie Schwartzberg.  His words serve to remind me what little time we have here on this amazing planet and how we should make the best of it.  Only by taking control of my ego and fear did I truly get to experience the delight and treasure of old friendships, along with the pleasure of living life to its fullest. I realized that age and knowledge do not always create the wisdom we seek to guide us through everyday experiences. Sometimes we just need to step back, take deep breaths and decide how badly we want to begin to live.

Gratitude is the title of one of many short films created by Mr. Schwartzberg, a master of time-lapse photography.  He is an award winning film maker who specializes in the painstaking and time consuming capturing of nature at its finest and describes nature as, "The soul of the world around us."  He has brilliantly devoted the last thirty-five years of his life making vibrantly colored flowers seemingly dance and lush, green vines cling and climb up trees and swing from branch to branch vividly expressing the living truth of their presence here on earth.  And, all of this was accomplished through his time-lapse photography and tons of patience.

LOUIS SCHWARTZBERG

The film, Gratitude, was conceived and narrated by Brother David Steindl-Rast who, in his infinite wisdom, teaches us that to be able to wake-up and experience yet another day in our lives can only be described as, ".....a personal gift to ourselves."  Also, "Life is based upon three basic ideas which are Nature, Beauty and Gratitude."  He explains how we must develop gratitude for all of the little things in life.  Only then will we fully appreciate how our lives exist in harmony with each other and how we must always nurture that harmony and respect nature for its essential and life giving properties.  We must respect our Earth before it is too late to save it.

What legacies will we extend to our children and their children if we fail to protect nature and the environment?  I shudder to think about their future if we continue to fail Mother Nature today.

Mr. Schwartzberg's next project is all about bees, plants and the pollination world that is the living basis of our food chain.  He equates this film to being a love story that feeds the earth and relates the current loss of our bee population to, "....losing friends and a life form."   I've often said that photographers have a different way of seeing the world, either through a long lens or their souls.  As artists, their goal is to help people see things that, perhaps, they don't normally see on the surface.  And, quite brilliantly, through Mr. Schwartzberg's lens and soul, the sheer beauty of nature helps bring all of us back home.

THE THREE ARTISTS

By Thursday, the seventh day of my visit, my daughters and I planned a 'girl's night out' and drove to Battle Creek to participate in Wine and Canvas......a popular business that combines learning how to paint a pre-chosen picture using acrylic paints while consuming the alcoholic beverage of your choice.  Since Ali was the Designated Driver, Corinne and I imbibed in one glass of red for me and a Long Island Iced Tea for her to boost our spirits and morale, of course.  Due to very close quarters, I proceeded to drip blue paint into my 'red' while recalling the paint's natural and non-toxic nature and my sub-conscience decision to drink on!! We had such a good time and so happy to be sharing time together....something that doesn't happen all that often these days.  This was, indeed, a personal gift to ourselves.

Friday was another 'early rise and let's get on the road' kind of day as all of us....with the exception of Corinne's husband, Matt, followed one another to Frankenmuth, Michigan.  Bronner's Christmas Wonderland, here we come!!  The five kids were phenomenally wonderful and close to two hours later we all emerged in one piece with tired feet carrying our bags of Holiday Ornaments and other goodies.  Following a quick bite of lunch downtown (no famous chicken meal for us that day), we toured one of the town's original breweries and beer museums located along the Cass River and proceeded to treat ourselves to ice cream downtown before heading back home.  This German influenced, beer loving little town is also a 'must see' stop on any trip to Michigan.  And, I suggest you do take the time to enjoy their famous family-style chicken dinner offerings while you're there.  It's always finger-licking delicious.

EXPLORING BRONNER'S
CHRISTMAS WONDERLAND

By Saturday evening, Ali, Corinne and I hit the Crossroads Mall running....  Literally, running because we'd gotten off to a late start.  However, the ladies knew precisely what they were looking for and, several dresses, tops and sweaters later, we were cooling our tired heels at Panera Bread with mixed beverages and yummy scones on our menu.  How amazing it is to sit and converse with my grown daughters without thinking about how I used to tie their shoes or cut-up their food for them. This evening I savored every breathing moment; I never really know when history will repeat itself giving me precious time alone with these two women I love and respect so much.  I hope it will be soon....

All of a sudden, it was Sunday and my turn to return home to Orlando.  Bittersweet, certainly.  Just as I had so easily stared into the experienced and lovely faces of my high school friends on Wednesday at lunch in order to extract their incredible stories, I now gazed lovingly into the faces of those I hold most dear to my heart.  Was it a story I wanted this time or, was I hoping to inhale the very essence of, the intrinsic nature and indispensable quality of, each one of these beloved and exotic creatures that hold such a special place in my heart? 

OUR FIVE EXOTIC CREATURES

And, that's okay!  I will cherish their essence every day I am home.  I will work hard and write each and every day and, given time, it always takes time, we will all be together again.  Life.....is all about those things you attempt to neatly fit into a small window of precious, fleeting time.



I have conquered my fears this time around and because of this.....I will truly begin to live!















HAPPY EASTER TO ALL!!!