.....as seen through my eyes!
By: Jacqueline E. Hughes
In the not too distant past, we would initially learn more about people from the outside-in, evaluating them by physical appearance, verbal communication and moving on (or not) from there. Today, we often begin relationships from the inside-out instead. Is it possible to become close to others yet never having set eyes on them first? Blame it (or not) on the influence of Social Media.....
The funny part is.....I'm not sure this is always a bad thing.
No matter what anyone says to the contrary, we choose our 'friends' when it comes to Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and so on..... I am picky and, even though I am in the business of 'selling myself' (Clearly I am referencing here what I write!!), the option of Liking, Adding or Following another human being via social media is our personal choice to make. And, the handy-dandy 'delete' button is there at our disposal when needed; a built-in fail-safe mechanism.
There will always be those who do not follow a give-and-take procedure when choosing friends on social media and the exception proves the rule in this case. Being the most popular kid on the block is always a tantalizing goal when it comes to our ego. I won't even try to deny that. And, I do put myself out there at times in order to attract readers who might be interested in my writing. (I have never sold my soul....thought about it a few times, though. Does this count?)
I believe that when we click-on to social media we are souls seeking approval, common ground and acceptance of those we call our Friends and Followers. We want these friends to like and approve the same things we value so much in life. It helps to make life easier. Religion, politics, art, family, music, food choices and recipes, dog-lover or cat-lover.....we soak it all up like a sponge and often value their opinions over our own flesh-and-blood acquaintances.
Why? I have my own opinions. See if you agree with some of them as they are introduced throughout my story.
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Humans seek-out approval, as I mentioned before. What better way to believe that we are doing something right as when we see that 'notification circle' shaded in red at the top of the page knowing that someone has, at least, acknowledged your existence and, maybe even, agreed with something you said or 'shared.' Odds are, naturally, that others might be disagreeing with you and commenting on your post to this effect. Personally, I welcome this. Perhaps it's because I was on my high school debate team but, I enjoy sparking opposing opinions as long as they are introduced with intelligence, 'good taste' and all words are spelled correctly!!! Just saying....
Considering 'like minds' and all of that, even with cyber relationships, our loyalties drift towards those who have similar beliefs to our own. We are looking for sounding-boards for our personal thoughts and ideas. If others fail to listen to what we have to say at school, home or in the office, our cyber friends just might! Again, this is not always a bad thing. Having a 'listening ear' all your own is a positive and often comforting scenario, as long as we understand that all we will receive is just that....a listening ear and, if we're lucky, a 'comment' voicing support and well-being.
That's not to say that solid friendships are never found on social media because I know that they are. This poem I once read on Facebook is an ode to strong bonds and undeniable support offered by those we meet from all over the world via social media:
"The friends I have never met.
My Friends online.
It's
strange to have a friend that you have
Never hugged, shook their hand or
Looked into their eyes.
But, you have been touched by their soul,
Seen the good in their hearts and felt the
Warmth in their being.
The
friends I have never met are not my
Friends untouched for I have felt
them
With me when I needed them.
I have confided in them and they
are
Some of the kindest people I have ever known.
My Friends.... Never
forget how special you are to me."
Courtesy of
Daveswordsofwisdom.com
By placing our trust in research and spreadsheets, and paying for the privilege, we legitimize their existence and wrap ourselves up in a cozy 'cloak of security' believing that others have more time and resources than we do when it comes to finding our life partner. We convince ourselves that the organization within these Websites is much safer than hooking-up on the Internet, alone and without a safety net. Since people will continue to use these sites, I don't see a problem with this line of thinking.
Before this amazing thing entitled the 'Internet,' acquaintances might have become our close friends through time, trial and error as individuals and groups offered testimony to the fact that humans, in general, required interaction with other humans. Let's say that we were introduced at a party and discovered that we enjoyed similar musical tastes or that we both liked to travel and speak the French language. This tact is what I refer to as learning about one another from the "outside-in" and allowing our experiences to guide us on into the next phase of the relationship.
In this age of 'instant gratification' and self-imposed lack of time, we scurry from meeting to meeting, room to room, loaded to the gills with our technological devices while creating a cyber world of online dates and friends. This takes me to the "inside-out" relationships where we are fed information about another person and then asked to meet them face-to-face, and take it from there. This leaves little to the imagination, similar to a Miley Cyrus music video. By the time our eyes eventually lock on to one another, we know pretty much everything about them in terms of statistics right down to the reason behind the jagged, little scar running along the left side of their mouth.
Chemistry. "Will there be 'chemistry' between us?" you wonder. The inside has been conquered already and not much has been left to our imagination.
Are we learning to exist in an age of shadow people? What will the consequences for future generations be?
Let's face facts here. We Love Our Tech Toys! We have them at our fingertips twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and sometimes they are the first things we make contact with after crawling out of bed in the morning or the last thing we touch (plugging it in to charge for the next day) at night! We are so hooked! Smart Phones, iPads, laptops, Nooks and Kindles.......our drug of choice. It's all legal, proper and almost expected of us to purchase and use them. As I said before, power and money can be highly manipulative.
Writing requires much research. Having answers, pictures and explanations at my touch is a godsend. I recall setting time aside to visit the library with my handwritten sheet of questions and ideas at the ready. Having so much information available to me within seconds while I am still in my pajamas at ten in the morning is a godsend, as well. And, it makes visiting my local library so much more fun rather than strictly work related.
I am torn. On one hand, I am pleased where all of this is going and relish the convenience of 'at the ready' knowledge. On the other hand, I am disappointed in the breakdown between human relationships. We spend too little time communicating with each other in order to form these relationships and keep them alive and thriving. Or, we confer with our 'devices' seeking life changing opinions and personal advice.
If I had to write a sentence fifty times on a chalkboard at the front of the classroom as a penance for hasty words spoken, it would read:
"I do love my i-Pad! I do love my i-Pad! I do love my i-Pad!....." And then I would plug-in my password for Facebook and take the consequences!
Indeed, certainly 'one' of my drugs of choice!
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| Travel Is My Drug of Choice......! |
Copyright © 2015 by Jacqueline E. Hughes
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