LIFE IS WAY TOO SHORT TO BE SO SIMPLE

 A series of essays.....

TWO KIDS LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

When considering that the life expectancy span of men and women living in the United States averages out to be seventy-nine years (A 2012 Study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), you would think that we would be elated by our progress within the last fifty to sixty years. And, judging by the statistics generated by Baby Boomer's parents that had been given an average life expectancy span of only sixty-one years, it's safe to say we've come a long way, baby!

And, we have.

Research in disease control within the last fifty years has elevated the quality of life by leaps and bounds. I know that's very simply stated considering the many set-backs we've experienced, including the HIV/AIDS epidemic beginning in the early 1980's. And, I haven't even broken down the numbers from above by race, social status, genetics, and so on.

But, that's not my point. Clearly, there are a multitude of reasons as to why the human average lifespan is what it is today in 2017. With a thirty-year rise in life expectancy at birth seen during the past century, we can assume that the improvements in public health have drastically reduced early-age mortality, allowing most people in developed nations to reach old age for the first time in recorded history.

Statistics, according to an analytically trained mind, can be a beautiful thing. In my world, these individuals are labeled 'Black and White' without having the capacity to see in multiple tones of gray. I find gray to be a pleasing, if not comforting, color for those who blend the Arts and Sciences in the form of Creative Art; artistic participation and expression both physically and visually. 

Leaning towards the statistics stated above, however, with regard to lifespans and how science has prolonged the length of time we might walk upon this earth, I will be the first to admit that this picture appears wrong and convoluted to me, lately. 

The simple and often terrifying fact of lives lost due to various diseases, has been haunting many of us to the point of shock and genuine depression. What used to be something, perhaps, experienced from afar, has now gained widespread notoriety as its sinister outcome touches our own lives and souls at almost every turn. 

Even though we are elated when hearing that someone has beaten their illness and is looking forward to sharing many more years with their family and friends.... Unfortunately, it can be the many sad outcomes that affect us deeply and fester within our subconscious like the 'horror movie' we should not have seen at such an early age. Death, especially when unexpected or deemed way too early, is haunting and frightening. 

We'd like to believe that we will all live out our life expectancy, whatever that may be at any given time, and enjoy a full and healthy experience throughout our years while doing so!

Life is a uniquely genuine experience that inevitably ends in death. As with all humans, we encounter death throughout our lifetime. It can rear its ugly head in our youth with the crippling loss of a beloved grandparent. Loss looms large and deeply disconcerting when Bootsie, your soft, purring friend, never returns to greet you with her sweet, delicate feline kisses upon your return home after a long day at school. And, the sudden loss of a young cousin in a car accident casts shadows on your world that never existed before and, instantly, gives you pause to reflect upon your own future at such an early age.

What throws my world into a tailspin today is the bombardment of this sad reality of life as it takes its toll by thrusting itself into every aspect of my human relationships. Granted, life begets death, eventually. I know that. But, dammit....I have, absolutely, no control over it!! 

Helpless.....

We are human, after all, and this one act, whether it is our own life or those of others around us being touched by the shadow of death, proves that we are all vulnerable right from the exact moment of our birth, even though it may take a long time for us to fully understand the process.

I fondly recall the captivating sense of humor of our next door neighbor who made us laugh and cry out with delight. His bout with cancer came to an end several weeks ago and has doused  the laughter and taken him away from three beautiful, extremely young granddaughters who will miss the tickles and giggles he lovingly afforded them.

Our son-in-law recently said his good-byes to his beautiful Mother after she lost her fight with pancreatic cancer. Sadly, from the beginning of her battle until the end was less than one year's time. Her life, although taken abruptly, will always be associated with copious amounts of vigor, passion, and genuine love for everyone she knew.

I know I always talk about social media and its effects on a world population that has come to find it difficult to relinquish its use. Because we have opened up our hearts and minds to the possibility of new friendships, especially via Facebook, we have encountered yet another means by which we share life (and death) with those we often have never seen face to face. Within the past four days, I have offered consolation to a good friend whose husband passed after his extended journey with cancer. Last Saturday, an author I have been friends with online for years lost her adult son to this terrible disease. The world has been deprived of his talent and genuine possibilities.

Being human means treating these relationships with as much depth of kindness and understanding as you would with someone you've personally known for years.

Recently, I had been introduced to a kind, imaginative and gentle man at my husband's company Christmas party. We spent several pleasant hours discussing his passion in life, hydroponic gardening. My husband had had the distinct pleasure of working with him for nearly a year before learning Monday morning he had suffered a heart attack over the weekend and lost his life at the young age of fifty-nine. 

Admittedly, it is most likely that my current age is increasingly haunting my thoughts of mortality. And, even though I have surpassed the years my own Mother lived in order to touch the lives of her children in such a profound manner, each year that I enjoy living beyond my Mother's sixty-two is a generous gift I will never take for granted.

Life is truly way too short to be believed to be so simple. At the very moment of our birth, we touch or reach out to so many people and, whether it is an intentional act or not, we cram as many relationships into our short time here on earth as possible. 

But, if we are lucky and play our cards right, out of the multiple shades of gray that comprise our short, busy, often complicated lives, we will be able to simplify our life as we age. 

Downsizing our homes and choosing to unclutter the 'stuff' we have around us, making more time for family and friends, sharing new journeys with someone you love, these are all positive steps towards simplifying our lives. And, even if we are fortunate to be able to tack-on several more years to our 'average life expectancy span,' we must never forget about or take for granted each and every day of the life we have.

Life is too short to be so simple.....simply because we are human. Our nature is to complicate everything around us. Until we age gracefully, utilize our common sense, and site sound examples of our own vulnerability, will we be able to steer ourselves in the right direction and onto the path towards a simpler life.

I firmly believe that when we accomplish simplifying our lives, our extra ten to fifteen years of life expectancy will be enjoyed to the fullest, understood in depth, and intensely appreciated no matter what fate hands out to us along the way. 

Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved