FAMILIARITY

 A series of essays....

COMING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS OFFERS THE
EXPERIENCE AND FAMILIARITY OF FAMILY AND TRADITIONS 

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E Hughes

Familiarity is a spot where knowing someone, being friendly and sociable with them, means that everything is, actually, better than it was in the beginning of the relationship. Seeing these relationships as being multifaceted prepares us as we explore each aspect of someone’s life and personality and begin to blend a new acquaintance into a more familiar one. As relaxed friendliness blossoms between people, they become more comfortable with one another; a sense of informality and naturalness overcomes the initial feelings of restraint and reserve. Enjoying familiarity with a best friend means that we can say just about anything we want around them and enjoy a relaxed and unstressed relationship.

Upon giving birth, a new mother holds her newborn and examines each strand of hair, freckle, crease of their soft, precious skin, birthmarks, minute finger and toenails, all with the desire of becoming as familiar as possible with her beloved child. Reaching this sense of intimacy allows her to immediately bond with this beautiful and miraculous being she has already nurtured and loved for months. This is the beginning of a long, hopefully sweet, and often highly emotional relationship, based on familiarity and love, that continues to grow stronger with each passing day.

Going back after a period of time to your parents’ home is familiarity based on the recognizability of a long, close association; the quality of customariness and being well known. We, once again, enter the ordinariness of relaxed friendliness and intimacy between people. Our busy lives beg to be complimented by the ease of a close family relationship where familiar customs can determine the general flow of our comfort levels. Going home, especially during the holidays, allows us to scrap all of the rigid controls we’ve placed on ourselves and relax to the tune of family singing in the kitchen and siblings arguing over television programming rights! Norman Rockwell may have memorialized the family homecoming in picture form, but it’s up to all of us to keep family traditions and the joy of being together alive and well. This includes all nontraditional or unconventional family scenarios, as well.

A sense of familiarity hits us while becoming acclimated to certain landscapes, cities, roads, and areas after a period of time. Normally, humans adjust and adapt to their surroundings quickly and the sense of familiarity can be marked by various landmarks recognized along our journey as we navigate down a 'path' a second or third time. Initially, visiting Paris may be daunting, but after several trips there, one acquires a sense of familiarity as they feel more comfortable within the lights, landscape, action, and pulse of this beautiful city.    

Familiarity is the state of knowing something very well. An actor has a familiarity with the stage or set. A painter has a familiarity with brushes and canvas. When there's familiarity with a certain job, we are not stressed because we've done it before. 

Hugging someone displays familiarity and refers to a more casual way of acting towards one another with a certain intimacy that denotes a close friendship. We should strive each day to achieve this sense of naturalness and simplicity within our lives with absence of ceremony and a firm direction towards peace and understanding one another. Familiarity, our informal act of expression, is a liberty we should cherish and preserve forever.  

Copyright © 2019 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

Photo Copyright © 2019 by Jacqueline E Hughes

All rights reserved

HOMECOMINGS, INDEPENDENCE, AND CHRISTMAS IN JULY!

A series of essays....

RED

WHITE

BLUE

....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

As the years go by, it’s easy to see how the Fourth of July, Independence Day, has leveled the playing field when it comes to sharing Christmas as one of the most family oriented holidays of the year!

As children growing up in the Midwest, we anticipated eating hot dogs and hamburgers cooked on the grill and accompanied by Mom’s homemade potato salad, playing hide-and-go-seek with all of our cousins, and waiting until it was dark enough to enjoy the fireworks display at Potawatomi Park before coming back home to light sparklers in the driveway and air-draw our names into the pitch black darkness of night before crawling, gratefully, into bed. 

Life, summertime, was much simpler back then. Families, generally, lived close enough to one another that within a half an hour’s drive the backyard grill would be hot and ready for whatever meat selection was provided, kids were clustered on porches playing board games, and adults were gearing up for raucous sessions of Euchre (a trick-taking card game) at the kitchen table. The men secured sweating, long-necked bottles of local beer from a cooler while the woman, usually, sipped iced tea or homemade lemonade with plenty of ice.

Family and friends were able to get together so often because all they needed was right at their fingertips all summer long....the easily acquired company of others, a little bit of planning, and the ability and desire to have a good time while together. 

Getting together at a moment’s notice can be a bit more complicated for many of us today. Even though the desire to spend time with family has not, necessarily, diminished, family dynamics, the force that stimulates change or progress within a system, has impacted most of us in one way or another. The world has become smaller with job opportunities offered on a global scale and travel made more available and, for the most part, more affordable than it has in past generations, family cells have divided and spread across the map with long distance and international living considered the norm instead of the exception. 

Sitting here, I’m thinking about all of our friends who have children scattered all over the United States and the world. They are living, working, examples of how families have spread their wings and ventured out far away from the family units I remember from my youth. 

What we learn through all of this is just how adaptable humans can be. Solutions to family closeness aren't always ideal as we often define ourselves as living in a Jetsons world of talking screens and preprogrammed meal selections. During the past several years we lived in Florida and away from the grandchildren, I was known as ‘tiny grandma’ since most of our interaction was done via Skype and, eventually, FaceTime. 

What a longer distance apart has created are more elaborate and exciting homecomings with relatives flying in from other states and countries to be together for the long, holiday weekend or, if fortunate enough, an extended week or two. A homecoming generally attributed to the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, but because of its warmer, kinder weather, July frequently serves as a prime time for traveling and sharing time and space with those we miss and love throughout the year. 

After all, Independence Day is the birthday of the greatest country in the history of mankind! And, nothing or no one can or will demean our greatness via their own narcissistic behavior. The Stars and Stripes symbolize our freedom and not a dictatorship built on personal greed. Our military might is well known and respected and should not be paraded down the streets of Washington D.C. like cheap costume jewelry. We are so much better than this.

But, I digress.

Many anticipated family traditions have originated due to the small windows of togetherness that the modern-day family units have to look forward to. Some of my friends opt to take the yearly ‘family portrait’ in July while everyone is together. Occasionally, families will choose to rent a large home in a central location for everyone to meet at and enjoy being together with over the 4th of July. And, if travel is an impossibility for many of us during any particular holiday, we have invited others of all ages and backgrounds over to our home for good conversation, family reminiscing, and delicious food to help ease the space between visits with their own relatives. 

With the 4th of July inching its way onto the important list of travel expectations for many families every year, it’s easy to see why it is becoming more and more significant in terms of bringing relatives and good friends together. Independence Day is bursting with sparkling colors and ideas that serve to keep the heart young, meaningful traditions germinating, and many of us well fed and provided for right in the celebratory hub of summer activities. Its importance is catching on by leaps and bounds and is truly becoming our Christmas in July!

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and joyful 4th of July and a momentous Happy Birthday to the great country we live in!!

Copyright © 2019 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved