A series of essays....
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| A BRIGHT SPOT BETWEEN THE EVENING STORMS IN CENTRAL FLORIDA |
....as seen through my eyes!
By: Jacqueline E. Hughes
“It’s absolutely true, listening is an art. And sadly, it has become a lost art,” writes Glenna Fulks, Chief Connection Officer & Curator of Memorable Experiences. “I make my living organizing and producing corporate conferences and special events. When a client calls and tells me they want to discuss a new project, I listen. I want to hear every word, pick up on each nuance, and watch their non-verbal body language.”
You may be asking yourself what in the world has the above quote got to do with selling our house? Well, as with many stories that are told, the answer to this question comes in through the ‘backdoor’ (by the means of a secret or indirect method).
Simple acts can be triggers such as packing the boxes with all of our accumulated ‘stuff’ or, shining the granite counter tops so often you might assert that the stone is visibly becoming thinner by the day. Sometimes it’s a matter of wanting to believe that there are certain ‘someones’ (I apologize) out there who might feel a similar love for your home as you do. You just hope to find them, as soon as possible. These trigger points are meant to feature or pinpoint what we are feeling or going through at any given moment.
So, this ‘backdoor’ philosophy for my current brain wave was triggered by the same article that was shared by a friend via social media and it tapped into not one, but two points that describe my mindset, perfectly. My subconscious is constantly looking for a creative story to tell. That is one example as to why the mind can influence or affect our behavior without us even being aware of it. And, my research led me to Ms. Fulks’ article, The Art of Active Listening, which featured the photo I present below.
Credit: Words by Stephen R. Covey/Image: Marc Wathieu
This image brought me back down to reality, made me smile a bit, and tapped into the nitty-gritty of what life has been like for us these past few weeks.
This image captures and represents a mixture of subtle understatement, an abundance of physical labor (represented by the cardboard backdrop), and an attempt to relearn the importance of being patient. We would be the first to tell you that this house selling gig is way too intense and we can hardly wait to be looking back at it via the rear view mirror!
Since writing, doing research, and cleaning-up the house for another showing has been my basic plan du jour, this opinion, based on my own personal philosophy that has been a mantra of mine for years, triggered my thought process and complemented a research project I happen to be currently working on.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
Think about what we are missing out on when we don’t listen to others; when we don’t hear or understand what they say because we are too busy formulating our own reply based on what they might say. I have had a good friend, literally, repeat my words a split second after I speak them, overlapping the conversation and creating what I call an ‘echo conversation.’ Is he afraid he’ll forget what I’ve said, or waiting for his opportunity to jump in?
Others, subconsciously or not, have ‘one-upped’ my answer to their own question directed at me and proceeded to relate their personal, more adventurous, story even before my last words had been uttered. I know they didn't have time to focus on or even attempt to understand what I just had to say.
Pet peeves? No, it goes much deeper than that, especially when we live in a world today that is so opinionated and emotionally raw. It’s particularly important for us to know that people close to us listen and understand what we have to say. And, quite healthy to believe that conversations among strangers is a matter of listening with an earnest attempt to comprehend what is being said...even if they happen to disagree with it. Common courtesy on both sides can stretch a very, very long way.
The creative meaning behind the image above conjures up the constant use of cardboard products that have become quite prevalent in my life. The sight, feel, and construction of cardboard boxes and corrugated glass divider kits will forever haunt me, I’m afraid. This undiluted image happened to combine my beliefs and my current actions in a personal manner and give me something lighthearted to smile about. What a simple respite from what’s happening outside the front door these days!
So, in traveling from the ‘backdoor philosophy’ and simple triggers stated above around to the sadness (the lost children pulled from their parent’s arms) and evil (the extremists running the government) that lurks just outside the ‘front door,’ I have, conveniently, placed you within my quirky, day-to-day lifestyle. I apologize for this. Life (the mind) is based on an intricate and delicate balance of emotions. We latch on to the things that relieve tension and make us smile for a very good reason. The image above did just that for me.
Distractions have their place, thank goodness. However, I can’t emphasize enough how this house selling gig is way too intense for me! (Did I happen to mention this before?) For now....I promise to try not to stress over things I cannot control and concentrate on ones that I feel I may have a shot of, at least, understanding. I’ll get there, one day....!
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| I KEEP TRYING.... |
Copyright © 2018 by Jacqueline E. Hughes
All rights reserved
