SOUL SEARCHING ~ IN REAL TIME

 A series of essays.....

SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL ~ SUNRISE!

mostnature.com

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

A hairline fissure runs through the middle of my spirit these days. It is a narrow split, a stressful division, in a manner of speaking, that helps to define the ache that weighs so heavily on my heart. 

My spirit breaks because of you.

If the spirit were made of stone, these fractures might be explained away, offering comfort in knowledge; options for improvement. Technically, some cracks in rock are a mechanism of brittle deformation in response to stress or pressure that exceeds the rock strength, causing the rock to lose cohesion along its weakest plane. Employ the engineer who might grout such cracks and help to strengthen my 'spirit' that has fallen into such disrepair. Oh, if only the solution were that simplistic...

My spirit breaks because of you.

If the spirit were likened to the brick foundation by which we build our hopes and dreams upon, it would be exhibiting these cracks and shifts that serve to weaken its splendor. A home or shelter that has been shifted from its solid foundation by earthly tremors has lost its original stability and now serves to undermine the spirit that once thrived within; lessen the effectiveness, power, or ability of nurturing the hopes and dreams it once sheltered.

Oh, my spirit breaks because of you.

If the spirit was brought forth through a particular fairy or sprite, I would solemnly swear that the 'little gnome' might have entered my universe upon our visit to the Emerald Isle back in 2006. My mischievous fairy would be a leprechaun named John, a tiny old man, who lives in the Caha Mountains of Southwestern Ireland under the guise of a sheep farmer. His playful antics and fun-loving spirit infusing my life with his power to affect the course of human events and insert the inevitable joy of my becoming a grandmother. Would I now see John with a single tear trickling down his wise, ancient cheek? Would his own spirit be breaking a bit in unison with mine?

The collection of actions or deeds by others can serve to break down our spirit.

If I allow the emotional, fundamental, and activating principle of my life, my spirit if you will, to be controlled by staunch man-made walls of negativity, I will continue to experience the brokenness. It will come to limit me; my character will suffer and my heart will break into a million pieces and cease to be the sacred vessel that contains the Love and Peace that, ultimately, defines me.

Once bitten, twice shy. An unpleasant experience induces caution every time!

You will never be able to understand this expression until you have lived through it. Living through a heartbreaking experience should serve to improve the outlook we have coming out of it, on the other side. It should.....if we allow it to happen. Every day now I meditate with the idea that I will slow down this fast-spinning world around me. I will better my life through my deep spiritual beliefs. Open my heart to every possibility. Breathe in the Love; and exhale the Peace. Breathe in the Love; and exhale the Peace until the floral carpet at my feet surrounds my spirit with its color palette of beauty. The peace and calm of our spectacular Floridian sunsets, layered with pink, mauve and brilliant blues, wraps me in a cloak of tranquility. Breathe in the Love; and exhale the Peace!

If my true spirit is the force, the principle that is believed to animate me and enlighten the living being that I am, then it must be so much stronger than I ever imagined before! I must step out of the dark and back into the light in order to change. What I perceived as fissures running along the length of my spirit, my vitality, like irregular shaped shadows that lend breath to my craggy landscape, must be transformed into receptacles that capture the joy I feel from the many blessings bestowed upon my humble life. 

My spirit is becoming whole once again because of you.

Strength is my honor. Always telling the truth and honoring this unselfish act in others, is my virtue in this lifetime. I will not be embroiled in petty battles that lack integrity and service the weaknesses that lurk within other souls. I,too, will become emboldened by these truths and only utilize the 'alternative facts' haphazardly spewed out by others as examples to give me the strength to share my beliefs with those who have reached this identical conclusion with me. 

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." Did you live by that rule yourself, Mr. Twain, proving one of our greatest American authors to be witty, wise and honest! 

The mighty pendulum has swung its one hundred and eighty degrees in less than a thousand words and I am not inclined to accept its return anytime soon. By accepting the challenges set before me, I will strive to forgive weakness, encourage truth and honesty, and live my life with a modicum of caution, having been bitten in the past. My rule of thumb will be if you show me respect, I will return that respect a thousand times over to you.

If my spirit has been transformed from solid rock to the brilliance of experiencing 'sunshine in my soul,' I could not be more grateful to all of you who have been there for me....you do know who you are. Let's work together to make this world a better place, help correct the wrongs, and look forward to welcoming the sunshine into our spirit and soul again.

But, never give up the fight! We must never back down from challenging what we see is wrong with new found hope of making it right!

My spirit is now whole, once more.  Because of you, I am ready to join the fight and win!

alamy.com

Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

FRIENDSHIP NEVER FADES

 A series of essays.....

ENJOYING TIME TOGETHER IN CELEBRATION, FLORIDA

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

Friendship may seem to disappear for a little while but, it never fades away into oblivion. Human nature does not forget the strong bond that is formed between friends, even when circumstances can tuck it away into the folds of time, only to resurface once again as strong and beautiful as ever.

The soft clinking sound of one crystal wine glass tapping another, coupled with yet another toast to health, good cheer, and priceless friendship renewed, still rings in my ears. I sit here this morning, i-Pad on my lap, feeling just a little bit lonely; a tiny bit sad. Our friends have moved on to the second phase of their Floridian excursion before traveling back home to Michigan, but their laughter continues to reverberate, sweetly, in my head.

I met Janis the year my parents decided to make the move up to Three Rivers, Michigan from Terre Haute, Indiana in order to help my grandparents run the laundry and dry cleaning establishment they had built-up through the years. It meant that we'd finally be settling down in one place instead of changing towns and schools every year to follow my dad's employment with the Sinclair Oil Corporation and Quaker State Motor Oil Companies. 

It turned out to be one of the best years of my life!

Thrust into an high school environment as an eighth grader, it was easy to see how, at a very young age, we were influenced by the upperclassmen. Back in the day, Three Rivers High School included an eighth-grade program. We had to learn to blend in with everybody in order to survive. Janis and I had several classes together, shared a sense of adventure, understood the importance of study ethics, and maintained Honor Roll status throughout our high school careers! We just clicked, immediately.

Even though we moved on to different colleges upon graduation from TRHS, we always kept in touch and visited one another at Alma College, Janis' alma mater, and, ultimately, Michigan State University, for me. 

Janis, eventually, moved to East Lansing, Michigan and I invited her to move into the apartment I had been sharing with several girlfriends I had, initially, met on campus while living at Shaw Hall. And, it just so happened that a really nice looking guy from Jackson, Michigan lived in the apartment above us with several other roommates. Well, Janis and Fred began dating one another and, as the old adage goes, the rest is history, folks!

Dan and I had been dating while I still lived in the dorm on campus and he had already moved to a house apartment located on Evergreen, north of Grand River Avenue, the main street that runs through East Lansing. The four of us hung-out together quite often during this time. 

Well, let's just say that Janis wore a gorgeous shade of pink as a bridesmaid at our wedding and I.....well, I served as an 'honorary bridesmaid' at hers two years later because I had been considerably pregnant at the time. It was not my desire to draw any attention away from the actual ceremony by waddling down the church aisle along with the wedding party. But, we were there, once again, cheering each other on as life took its course, babies were born, addresses changed, and challenges arose.

SO MANY MEMORIES.....!

Not long afterward, Dan and I had ensconced ourselves in the life rhythms of the small town of Eaton Rapids. Fred and Janis, not far away in Holt, located just south of East Lansing, were raising their young family. But, as I've stated before, life has a tendency of getting in the way.....even when involving strong friendships. New faces emerge from each new experience until old friends get tucked away as creative memories drifting through time like colorful autumn leaves wistfully navigating their earthbound flights.

My path was to follow Dan down here to Orlando, Florida after our youngest daughter, Corinne, completed her freshman year at Michigan State. Our oldest daughter, Alexandria, was interning at Walt Disney World at the time and, eventually, was employed full-time in Procurement in the business offices at WDW. Somehow, someway....twenty plus years have transpired, Dan is responsible for building quite a few multi-family apartment projects in the area, and Orlando has become our established home.

LITTLE, YELLOW COTTAGE

Now, both of our children reside in Kalamazoo/Portage, Michigan along with their own families and we have come to realize that moving back to Michigan after retirement, to be with them, is going to be the next chapter in our lives. We have begun to establish ourselves within this amazing community by purchasing the cutest, little house ever built in Kalamazoo!! Well, at least we think so. Built in 1941, our little yellow cottage is a work in progress but, a project based on the sheer joy of rejuvenating this small gem into a comfortable home where grandchildren are always welcome and cookies will certainly be baking in the oven....!

Returning to Michigan, even on a part-time basis for the past few years, has changed us forever and, in a very good way. Yes, we share in our children's lives ten times more than before, which has, in turn, enhanced our sense of well-being and balance. We are enriching our outlook on life through the power of the arts with so much credit going out to our friend, Michael, and his adorable wife, Marsha. Michael, a local artist and architect, along with Marsha, a librarian/writer in the town of Portage for many years, have greatly changed our lives for the better. Together, they have proven to us that Kalamazoo has so much to offer through the local talent of painters, writers, sculptors, poets, educators, and more, all intertwined to help create a Mecca for other artists willing to immerse themselves in their particular activity or interest.

Right before we made the solid commitment to Kalamazoo by purchasing a second home, something absolutely brilliant happened! I was invited to lunch. Not just any lunch, either. Several old friends from high school got together at a local restaurant, Food Dance, in downtown Kalamazoo (I like typing that word!) and, low and behold, Janis and I sat there, side-by-side, having lunch together after all of these years!

The amazing part was that only a few moments in, she and I were talking and acting as though the time that had passed between us had never seemed to matter. We picked-up where we'd left off and our friendship began to blossom once more. Like a flower in springtime, the colors of friendship were bright and stunning, with stems as strong as a long-stem rose, and the possibilities, endless. Conversation flowed. Goodness knows we had a few years to catch-up on.

JANIS AND FRED

Today I sit on my living room couch brooding because they have come and they have already gone. The four of us had such a wonderful few days together. Jan and Fred enjoyed the tour of our beautiful, albeit spread-out, adopted home, Orlando, and the surrounding area. After the laughing, crying, reminiscing, and partaking in good food and spirits....our house is quiet again. The 'battery fed' clocks hanging on our walls tick-and-tock into my subconscious like they never do when this house is full of people and uncontrolled laughter. Just as it did this past holiday season when all of our children were here celebrating and filling-up the bedrooms with their pleasant nighttime breathing.

Hairstyles may be notably shorter and interspersed with grays, as only our hairstylists know for sure, and minute lines collect on our faces like soft, Victorian lace denoting character and a full life, but the soul.....ah, the soul and a person's spirit never really changes at all. Time passes before us controlling our ultimate destinies, but in what manner and for how long we choose to communicate with those we share breath with is entirely up to us. 

Janis and I have always shared the spirit for living, enjoyed the world around us, and spread as much love as possible to everyone, near and far. That will never change. They will return here, as we will travel north to share more time with them. It is inevitable. It is fate. It is written in the stars.

However, in the meantime, oh, how I wish we didn't have so many 'battery fed' clocks hanging in this house!

JOY!

Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved