SOUL SEARCHING ~ IN REAL TIME

 A series of essays.....

SUNSHINE IN MY SOUL ~ SUNRISE!

mostnature.com

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

A hairline fissure runs through the middle of my spirit these days. It is a narrow split, a stressful division, in a manner of speaking, that helps to define the ache that weighs so heavily on my heart. 

My spirit breaks because of you.

If the spirit were made of stone, these fractures might be explained away, offering comfort in knowledge; options for improvement. Technically, some cracks in rock are a mechanism of brittle deformation in response to stress or pressure that exceeds the rock strength, causing the rock to lose cohesion along its weakest plane. Employ the engineer who might grout such cracks and help to strengthen my 'spirit' that has fallen into such disrepair. Oh, if only the solution were that simplistic...

My spirit breaks because of you.

If the spirit were likened to the brick foundation by which we build our hopes and dreams upon, it would be exhibiting these cracks and shifts that serve to weaken its splendor. A home or shelter that has been shifted from its solid foundation by earthly tremors has lost its original stability and now serves to undermine the spirit that once thrived within; lessen the effectiveness, power, or ability of nurturing the hopes and dreams it once sheltered.

Oh, my spirit breaks because of you.

If the spirit was brought forth through a particular fairy or sprite, I would solemnly swear that the 'little gnome' might have entered my universe upon our visit to the Emerald Isle back in 2006. My mischievous fairy would be a leprechaun named John, a tiny old man, who lives in the Caha Mountains of Southwestern Ireland under the guise of a sheep farmer. His playful antics and fun-loving spirit infusing my life with his power to affect the course of human events and insert the inevitable joy of my becoming a grandmother. Would I now see John with a single tear trickling down his wise, ancient cheek? Would his own spirit be breaking a bit in unison with mine?

The collection of actions or deeds by others can serve to break down our spirit.

If I allow the emotional, fundamental, and activating principle of my life, my spirit if you will, to be controlled by staunch man-made walls of negativity, I will continue to experience the brokenness. It will come to limit me; my character will suffer and my heart will break into a million pieces and cease to be the sacred vessel that contains the Love and Peace that, ultimately, defines me.

Once bitten, twice shy. An unpleasant experience induces caution every time!

You will never be able to understand this expression until you have lived through it. Living through a heartbreaking experience should serve to improve the outlook we have coming out of it, on the other side. It should.....if we allow it to happen. Every day now I meditate with the idea that I will slow down this fast-spinning world around me. I will better my life through my deep spiritual beliefs. Open my heart to every possibility. Breathe in the Love; and exhale the Peace. Breathe in the Love; and exhale the Peace until the floral carpet at my feet surrounds my spirit with its color palette of beauty. The peace and calm of our spectacular Floridian sunsets, layered with pink, mauve and brilliant blues, wraps me in a cloak of tranquility. Breathe in the Love; and exhale the Peace!

If my true spirit is the force, the principle that is believed to animate me and enlighten the living being that I am, then it must be so much stronger than I ever imagined before! I must step out of the dark and back into the light in order to change. What I perceived as fissures running along the length of my spirit, my vitality, like irregular shaped shadows that lend breath to my craggy landscape, must be transformed into receptacles that capture the joy I feel from the many blessings bestowed upon my humble life. 

My spirit is becoming whole once again because of you.

Strength is my honor. Always telling the truth and honoring this unselfish act in others, is my virtue in this lifetime. I will not be embroiled in petty battles that lack integrity and service the weaknesses that lurk within other souls. I,too, will become emboldened by these truths and only utilize the 'alternative facts' haphazardly spewed out by others as examples to give me the strength to share my beliefs with those who have reached this identical conclusion with me. 

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." Did you live by that rule yourself, Mr. Twain, proving one of our greatest American authors to be witty, wise and honest! 

The mighty pendulum has swung its one hundred and eighty degrees in less than a thousand words and I am not inclined to accept its return anytime soon. By accepting the challenges set before me, I will strive to forgive weakness, encourage truth and honesty, and live my life with a modicum of caution, having been bitten in the past. My rule of thumb will be if you show me respect, I will return that respect a thousand times over to you.

If my spirit has been transformed from solid rock to the brilliance of experiencing 'sunshine in my soul,' I could not be more grateful to all of you who have been there for me....you do know who you are. Let's work together to make this world a better place, help correct the wrongs, and look forward to welcoming the sunshine into our spirit and soul again.

But, never give up the fight! We must never back down from challenging what we see is wrong with new found hope of making it right!

My spirit is now whole, once more.  Because of you, I am ready to join the fight and win!

alamy.com

Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

FRIENDSHIP NEVER FADES

 A series of essays.....

ENJOYING TIME TOGETHER IN CELEBRATION, FLORIDA

.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

Friendship may seem to disappear for a little while but, it never fades away into oblivion. Human nature does not forget the strong bond that is formed between friends, even when circumstances can tuck it away into the folds of time, only to resurface once again as strong and beautiful as ever.

The soft clinking sound of one crystal wine glass tapping another, coupled with yet another toast to health, good cheer, and priceless friendship renewed, still rings in my ears. I sit here this morning, i-Pad on my lap, feeling just a little bit lonely; a tiny bit sad. Our friends have moved on to the second phase of their Floridian excursion before traveling back home to Michigan, but their laughter continues to reverberate, sweetly, in my head.

I met Janis the year my parents decided to make the move up to Three Rivers, Michigan from Terre Haute, Indiana in order to help my grandparents run the laundry and dry cleaning establishment they had built-up through the years. It meant that we'd finally be settling down in one place instead of changing towns and schools every year to follow my dad's employment with the Sinclair Oil Corporation and Quaker State Motor Oil Companies. 

It turned out to be one of the best years of my life!

Thrust into an high school environment as an eighth grader, it was easy to see how, at a very young age, we were influenced by the upperclassmen. Back in the day, Three Rivers High School included an eighth-grade program. We had to learn to blend in with everybody in order to survive. Janis and I had several classes together, shared a sense of adventure, understood the importance of study ethics, and maintained Honor Roll status throughout our high school careers! We just clicked, immediately.

Even though we moved on to different colleges upon graduation from TRHS, we always kept in touch and visited one another at Alma College, Janis' alma mater, and, ultimately, Michigan State University, for me. 

Janis, eventually, moved to East Lansing, Michigan and I invited her to move into the apartment I had been sharing with several girlfriends I had, initially, met on campus while living at Shaw Hall. And, it just so happened that a really nice looking guy from Jackson, Michigan lived in the apartment above us with several other roommates. Well, Janis and Fred began dating one another and, as the old adage goes, the rest is history, folks!

Dan and I had been dating while I still lived in the dorm on campus and he had already moved to a house apartment located on Evergreen, north of Grand River Avenue, the main street that runs through East Lansing. The four of us hung-out together quite often during this time. 

Well, let's just say that Janis wore a gorgeous shade of pink as a bridesmaid at our wedding and I.....well, I served as an 'honorary bridesmaid' at hers two years later because I had been considerably pregnant at the time. It was not my desire to draw any attention away from the actual ceremony by waddling down the church aisle along with the wedding party. But, we were there, once again, cheering each other on as life took its course, babies were born, addresses changed, and challenges arose.

SO MANY MEMORIES.....!

Not long afterward, Dan and I had ensconced ourselves in the life rhythms of the small town of Eaton Rapids. Fred and Janis, not far away in Holt, located just south of East Lansing, were raising their young family. But, as I've stated before, life has a tendency of getting in the way.....even when involving strong friendships. New faces emerge from each new experience until old friends get tucked away as creative memories drifting through time like colorful autumn leaves wistfully navigating their earthbound flights.

My path was to follow Dan down here to Orlando, Florida after our youngest daughter, Corinne, completed her freshman year at Michigan State. Our oldest daughter, Alexandria, was interning at Walt Disney World at the time and, eventually, was employed full-time in Procurement in the business offices at WDW. Somehow, someway....twenty plus years have transpired, Dan is responsible for building quite a few multi-family apartment projects in the area, and Orlando has become our established home.

LITTLE, YELLOW COTTAGE

Now, both of our children reside in Kalamazoo/Portage, Michigan along with their own families and we have come to realize that moving back to Michigan after retirement, to be with them, is going to be the next chapter in our lives. We have begun to establish ourselves within this amazing community by purchasing the cutest, little house ever built in Kalamazoo!! Well, at least we think so. Built in 1941, our little yellow cottage is a work in progress but, a project based on the sheer joy of rejuvenating this small gem into a comfortable home where grandchildren are always welcome and cookies will certainly be baking in the oven....!

Returning to Michigan, even on a part-time basis for the past few years, has changed us forever and, in a very good way. Yes, we share in our children's lives ten times more than before, which has, in turn, enhanced our sense of well-being and balance. We are enriching our outlook on life through the power of the arts with so much credit going out to our friend, Michael, and his adorable wife, Marsha. Michael, a local artist and architect, along with Marsha, a librarian/writer in the town of Portage for many years, have greatly changed our lives for the better. Together, they have proven to us that Kalamazoo has so much to offer through the local talent of painters, writers, sculptors, poets, educators, and more, all intertwined to help create a Mecca for other artists willing to immerse themselves in their particular activity or interest.

Right before we made the solid commitment to Kalamazoo by purchasing a second home, something absolutely brilliant happened! I was invited to lunch. Not just any lunch, either. Several old friends from high school got together at a local restaurant, Food Dance, in downtown Kalamazoo (I like typing that word!) and, low and behold, Janis and I sat there, side-by-side, having lunch together after all of these years!

The amazing part was that only a few moments in, she and I were talking and acting as though the time that had passed between us had never seemed to matter. We picked-up where we'd left off and our friendship began to blossom once more. Like a flower in springtime, the colors of friendship were bright and stunning, with stems as strong as a long-stem rose, and the possibilities, endless. Conversation flowed. Goodness knows we had a few years to catch-up on.

JANIS AND FRED

Today I sit on my living room couch brooding because they have come and they have already gone. The four of us had such a wonderful few days together. Jan and Fred enjoyed the tour of our beautiful, albeit spread-out, adopted home, Orlando, and the surrounding area. After the laughing, crying, reminiscing, and partaking in good food and spirits....our house is quiet again. The 'battery fed' clocks hanging on our walls tick-and-tock into my subconscious like they never do when this house is full of people and uncontrolled laughter. Just as it did this past holiday season when all of our children were here celebrating and filling-up the bedrooms with their pleasant nighttime breathing.

Hairstyles may be notably shorter and interspersed with grays, as only our hairstylists know for sure, and minute lines collect on our faces like soft, Victorian lace denoting character and a full life, but the soul.....ah, the soul and a person's spirit never really changes at all. Time passes before us controlling our ultimate destinies, but in what manner and for how long we choose to communicate with those we share breath with is entirely up to us. 

Janis and I have always shared the spirit for living, enjoyed the world around us, and spread as much love as possible to everyone, near and far. That will never change. They will return here, as we will travel north to share more time with them. It is inevitable. It is fate. It is written in the stars.

However, in the meantime, oh, how I wish we didn't have so many 'battery fed' clocks hanging in this house!

JOY!

Copyright © 2017 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

ANOTHER BRIGHT STAR ~ TOO SOON!

A series of essays.....

~~TAKE REFUGE IN THE COZINESS OF THE 'STARRY NIGHT'~~

    Courtesy of The Imaginative Conservative



.....as seen through my eyes!

By: Jacqueline E. Hughes

Look up to the night sky tonight and you will clearly see another bright star shining down upon us.These stars are very special, you understand, because they represent the Mothers, Daughters, Sisters, Wives, Aunts, and members of the Sisterhood who have left our earthly company, with many having departed far too soon! 

Take refuge in the coziness of the night sky, my Sister!

Nestle in amongst the brave who have flown before you,

For, your time is now.

Certainly, God created the stars above to offer all of us hope; to shower those left behind in the brilliance of star beams and majestic twinkles so that we will never have to feel alone. 

Women comprise the earthly community of caregivers who, like an unrelenting firestorm, swiftly sweep through their domain rarely swerving in their determination to do what is best for everyone around them. They are mother to their own offspring, nourishing and protecting, while extending these magnanimous gifts to all children and anyone in need of a generous spirit or a masterful portion of dignity of the soul. This combination of qualities enables a woman to handle trouble with firmness (protect), disdain injustice, and be loyal and trustworthy under all circumstances.

Remain vigilant and firm in the hereafter, dear Sister!

Believe that your roots continue to grow strong and sound and that

Memory serves the soul of those left behind.

This is why those of us left here on Earth without you, Mother, mistrust our own emotions, doubt ourselves, and challenge the ability to cope with your loss. 

Heartbreak is having a Mother leave too soon.....sixty-two years of age....with so many young grandchildren left to wonder and ask the adults, "Why?" Answers forthcoming. And I, being her only daughter, her proud new friend, was filtering grief under a starlit Chicago sky while holding the hands of my own two young daughters; husband cautiously engaged in support and love. Really....what is the 'perfect' combination of words you might offer someone who has just lost a parent, her Mother, confidant, friend? A veneer of 'protective numbness' encased my being on that long, somber drive back to Michigan that night....under those same brilliant stars that showered their heavenly light, guiding us along that stretch of the I-94 highway.

Oh, night sky starred with bright earthly flowers,

I transfix on one special bloom, larger and brighter than the rest.

And bask in its light as it shines down upon me.

This past Sunday morning, a bold, new star dances above us, navigating the heavens, and shining her light upon the earthbound loved ones who look up to the night sky in search of the right answers, not only for their children, but for themselves, as well. 

This past Sunday morning, Lucille, Mother to our son-in-law, Eric, lost her battle with pancreatic cancer. 

Generous of spirit, extremely liberal when bestowing gifts, laughter, and love upon everyone around her, Lucille, wife of Alan, Mother of Adam and Eric, daughters-in-law, Melissa and Alexandria, and Grandmother to four talented, young spirits, Sarah, Amanda, Brenna, and Gavin.....you have left all of us way too soon!

Derived from Latin and French ("Loo-Sill") with an English pronunciation of "Loo-Seel," your name makes me think of a young girl, with thick, golden hair in long plaits resting down her back, running joyfully through a field of sweet grasses and wildflowers! It reminds me of fun and laughter on a Saturday morning watching "I Love Lucy" reruns and repeating the risibility of its contents over and over for her devoted fans to enjoy.

Lucille....not Lou or Lulu, Lucy, Lucie, Cici, or Luce. At least I have never heard you labeled by any of these nicknames throughout our time together. The strength of 'Lucille' always seemed to fit you best! 

The significance of your name was a special and pleasant surprise for me when I discovered that the name, Lucille, means Light: Moonlight, bright light, a state of awareness and understanding, spiritual knowledge and illumination or, 'The Light' in certain doctrine that describes a divine presence in each person. 

Looking up into the night sky tonight, another bright star will illuminate the heavens next to Olga, Beverly, and so many other Moms and caretakers who continue to shine their loving light down upon the children they have left here on earth. In this act alone, we will find peace and comfort and understanding beneath the star beams and majestic twinkles we so often wish upon.

Take refuge in the coziness of the night sky, my Sister!

Nestle in amongst the brave who have flown before you,

For, your time is now and forever!

In Loving Memory of Lucille Miller Siskind.

Copyright © 2016 by Jacqueline E. Hughes

All rights reserved

THE REDBUD TREE

A series of essays.....

~~A ROOM WITH A VIEW~~
THE LITTLE YELLOW COTTAGE

 .....as seen through my eyes!



By: Jacqueline E. Hughes


The Redbud tree grows wild and free outside my bedroom window. The rising sun has set it on fire as each fledgling bud is bathed in brilliant morning light. Oh, how I love the morning hours.

My Spirit exists within this tree.....

Inevitably, someone will inquire of each of us, "Are you a morning or a night person?" What would you say to them?

"I feel incredibly alive in the early morning hours," I would reply, without a moment of hesitation. The pure, rose-pink light of dawn awakens the senses with its perception of a new beginning that offers a blush of warmth to the new sky like a young girl's cheeks following her 'first kiss.'

The feeling of hope gently spreads out along the horizon like a healing salve of slender tentacles of light inching across both land and sea, seeking every nook and cranny, each foaming wave of water arching magnificently before breaking onto the shore.

My naked bedroom window, like a huge 'eye on the world,' pulls the newborn light into the small room. I stand speechless, in awe of the spectacle materializing both inside and out. Running to retrieve my camera, I stumble back to the bedroom, the old wooden floor creaking with every step, echoing my early morning solitude.

My Redbud tree is screaming, "Get your spring on! Look at me. I am a feast of blossoms; a breath of fresh air after a long winter."

Its presence cannot, will not, be ignored. I have captured its image and beauty to take back home to Florida. I will forever remember the subtle, gentle screams of delight as the rising sun saturates each wild pink bud with its heady warmth and light.

I may not be there when these showy pink flowers, naturally, drift to the ground under the peaceful persuasion of a spring breeze. The picture of my Redbud tree taken that glorious morning at sunrise will remind me that the vivid springtime beauty of the Redbud will always have an impactful effect on my Michigan spirit.

The Redbud tree grows wild and free outside my bedroom window....


Copyright © 2016 by Jacqueline E. Hughes
All rights reserved

THE JOY OF LIVING

A series of essays.....

Paris 2003 ~ Where People Meet To Talk, Eat, Drink, Love, And Watch The World Go By!

.....as seen through my eyes!




By: Jacqueline E. Hughes


You would had to have lived under a rock all of your life not to be somewhat familiar with the French, and highly universal phrase, 'joie de vivre.' The joy of living! Maybe you don't pronounce it quite correctly in French. That's okay. At least you try. Maybe your spelling is off a bit. That's why the Internet exists.....certainly for me, anyway!

This past Friday, November 13, 2015, I reasoned this phrase, this inspiring interpretation of life, must have died along with all of the poor souls that had been so wrongfully taken away from us during the late hours of a charming Friday evening in Paris.....France. I couldn't have been more wrong!

I believe that the spirit and joy of living, enjoying life, people, and the world around us, has, if nothing else, intensified. Everything that 'joie de vivre' implies makes us realize even more how precious this feeling of happiness and excitement about life truly is. Especially when such barbaric attempts to eradicate its 'pure joy' is alive, well, and, seemingly, unstoppable.

Perhaps you were acquainted with one of the victims or with members of their families. In this age of social media, this is even more probable than any other time in our history. The question is asked, "How do we, the survivors, continue on after such a loss?" It's still life......we know it is different now but, it's still life and so many others have become more dependent upon those who have been left behind to pick-up the pieces.

There are children made orphans; spouses abandoned by the loss of their husband or wife; survivors instantaneously categorized as a single parent; older parents losing an adult child and, so much potential for giving back to others lost in moments filled with pure  evil and hate. The carnage was only half of it; so much more seems to be at stake here. I realize it's the human beings left behind, like pieces of a gigantic puzzle, they take on the shape and curvature needed to fill in those spaces created by the loss of each one of those lives. 

You might ask what could possibly be the protocol for rising above such depths of despair? Is there really a simple guidebook or set of rules governing the aftermath of such grave, unexpected loss? Not really. However, in my admiration for the French people and their particular design on everyday life, joie de vivre still shines through the fragile cracks like much needed sunshine after a long, arduous storm.

Afraid, hurting, and reeling from the massacre of their fellow and worldly citizens, Parisians, being themselves, being French with everything applied to this title, cautiously began to fight back in the best way they knew how. Fitting each word together like a novelist creating  her next chapter, Parisians knew that the hate mongers   could not take away the high spirits, gaiety, exuberance, and zest for life they chose to enjoy and define themselves by. At least, not for long. Their next chapter, their brand new story, was not going to be based on the hate they had recently experienced first-hand. Life is meant for the living and the French, especially Parisians, know how important it is to live life to the fullest.

And, this is precisely the attitude that most of us who love and admire the French lifestyle are drawn to. We are moths seeking the flickering, bright flame we associate with owning élan and want to experience the rush of adrenaline served-up to the French as a birthright.

Daesh. Daesh is an Arabic word meaning a group of bigots that impose their will upon others, according to "Morning News USA." I remain uncertain as to why this group dislikes this title so much considering the terminology seems to fit so perfectly. I believe that most of the insane and radical reasons that Daesh chose the particular venues that it did last Friday was its attempt to cripple the youthful spirit and extinguish the bright light of joy and hope that flourishes within the heart of each French person. The flame may have sputtered and almost gone out that night but, the French, Parisians in particular, will never allow that to happen.

My question is this.....  Do we fight hate with hate? Do we allow fear to be the negative beacon that lights our path to a worldly disaster? And, do we allow Daesh to cripple our sensitivities to the point of filling our own hearts with hate, as well? You know that is their goal. If we hate, we will be just like them.

Unfortunately, by not accepting the innocent human beings, the refugees who are attempting to escape the senseless slaughter and injustices inflicted upon them in their homeland, we are heading into a new world that even 'joie de vivre' will not be able to penetrate. The governors of each state in America who have chosen fear over love and common sense when it comes to offering refuge to living breathing souls are falling deeply into the patterns of the same hate dictated by Daesh and al-Qaeda. You can be certain that they will be warming the pews of their religious affiliation of choice this Sunday with more than enough smiles and handshakes to go around.

The general hypocrisy of mankind is based on many things with power, money and the fear of losing the next election being among them. Although, power and money, in my estimation, are one and the same. Fear, hatred, and greed has polarized the United States for way too many years now. It is time to inject our own 'joie de vivre' into the world we call home and live, laugh, love, and even, disagree with one another while we kiss and embrace the moment.

I often tell my two girls about the open-minded concept concerning social topics that their father and I experienced while attending Michigan State University back in the late sixties. It was common to walk through the study areas of your dorm at midnight only to find groups of students hotly debating various ideas generated by class discussions or particular world affairs and events. We didn't have a cell phone attached to our faces and we relied on our knowledge and personal opinions to feed the conversation. Not seeing eye-to-eye was all part of it. Talking with one another and sharing views was healthy and there wasn't a computer to lean on when a discussion got heated. I miss those days for so many reasons. We have lost the art of face-to-face communication and I find this to be very worrisome.

I will be honest when I say that writing about the terrorist attack on Paris that took place last Friday was difficult for me. First of all, I had to calm down a lot and try to make some sense out of a senseless situation. Still haven't accomplished this one yet. I had to employ many of my own beliefs with regard to love vs. hate, good will always overcome evil, having faith and hope in mankind will conquer all, and showing kindness and forgiveness towards others will bring joy into my heart and soul. I questioned myself on all counts just as I had done after the destruction of the Twin Towers in 2001, the realization that the Syrian President, Bashar al-Assad, could destroy and murder his own people, trying to understand the multiple suicide bombings that have killed thousands of innocent people, and commercial aircraft being taken out of the sky by various means in order to kill thousands more.

I sit back and shake my head in wonder.

Daesh believes it has found our Achilles heel. It has learned that to strike terror in others, it must completely destroy the joy in their life. It must deplete the innocence we were born with and insert fear and hatred in its place. It has learned to attempt to destroy the creative side of our natures by crumbling great works of art and wiping-out the visual history of statues and monuments that represent some of  man's greatest achievements. It wishes to relieve us of our freedom of speech, as well as the sheer joy of sharing thoughts and ideas with one another. Daesh knows that to kill the body is the only way it can be assured of accomplishing this.

Planting terror into the hearts and minds of free thinking people would mean one thing......successfully extracting the 'joie de vivre' that exists there. This past week tells us that the French, Parisians in particular, will never allow anyone to deplete their 'raison d'etre,' reason for being, or dismiss their Joy of Living under any circumstances!


Copyright © 2015 by Jacqueline E. Hughes
All rights reserved

Photograph Copyright © 2015 by Jacqueline E. Hughes
All rights reserved